See a lawyer about what she can get, how you can protect yourself and transfer any joint account funds into an account she doesnt have access to....

The 2x4's are not meant in a mean way--just a "we want you to cover your [censored]" kind of way.

If there are any joint credit cards, remove her name if you are the primary holder. You're still married and may still be on the hook for marital debt if nothing has been filed that says otherwise.

No joint credit cards or checking accounts.
thank goodness

Anything else I can do to protect myself? I don't know what options I have.

An attorney could advise on the rest. I think you'd feel better (more in control) if you met with one to see what options are available in your state.

I'd carry a voice recorder whenever you talked to your WW. Particularly when you moved back home.

Okay, here we go once again.

If you and WWW (Web-Wayward Wife) have no joint liquid financial assets, then there remains only the non-liquid real asset - the house. You remember the house - the one she "shamed" you out of, the one in her possession which has you so terrified you can't bring yourself to re-occupy, the one of which she has been enjoying sole control of, the one from which she's transmitting her skanky behavior. The longer you are absent from said domicile, the stronger case she will have for primary ownership.

GO THE HELL HOME!

(And oh, btw: While there if you hear her conducting another lewd taping, commence your newly started bagpipe lessons. It's not necessary to be GOOD, just LOUD!)

Listen J, she's good at what she does. She's sucking you dry financially by setting up residence in the house and lining up a lawyer. WHILE sending out shockwaves of pain aimed at keeping you too dazed and confused to see her coming.

OUR job is to counteract her work by yelling WAKE UP, Though we know how dazed and in pain you feel you MUST get to work now.

Move home. (Scary? Yes. Doable? Yes) Take female relatives. Put on a smooth face and tell her that her continued adultery and online promiscuity while in your home is unacceptable. Tell her she must end her As or get out.

Then set up appointments with at least three lawyers who specialise in divorce and pick the toughest one.

NG and IG are really giving you good advice.

Well I went to see another lawyer today.

He said that I have the right to go back to my home.
BUT to be cautious. He has seen instances where people have gotten violent, even in cases where no one has any history of it.
And to be cautious of her filing false claims of domestic abuse against me.

I don't think my WW would be violent in any way.
But I could be wrong....I also never thought she would have done what she did either.

I have talked it over with my mom...she does not want to go to my house. She is afraid that my WW could hurt us. I don't think so, but she is really afraid that it could happen.

Before you go back, get a VAR and have it on you at all times when around WW. Don't assume anything at this point. Your lawyer is right. There are WAY too many bad stories around here because BHs didn't take necessary precautions and wound up in some pretty bad situations. Get the VAR first thing (voice activated recorder).

Before you go back, get a VAR and have it on you at all times when around WW.

And don't forget the bagpipes, or fluegelhorn, or whatever!

The point is, you cannot be sneaking into your own home like some burglar. Your intent is to arrive LARGE and IN CHARGE, daring her to continue to act like some alleycat in heat in your house!

One more thing, your mom being there would be the best thing possible to diffuse a possible violent confrontation for 2 reasons.

1) Just because she's there and having to face the music with someone other than just you.
2) A witness.

If your mom can't do it(and I would certainly understand if she couldn't), is there another person that can? Or even persons? Strength in numbers.

I have a tenor saxophone that I used to play terribly that I would be more than happy to FedEx to you at no charge to aid in your efforts.

Yes, you do need to keep your own best interests in mind. Wear a VAR. Keep it with you at all times.

But GET BACK IN THERE. She doesn't have any right to that house that you don't have! You shouldn't be slinking away to allow her 'mirror' time. IT'S YOUR HOUSE.

UPDATE

Here is my letter to my STBXW & her response:

-------
Hey, I haven't heard anything from you since last Sunday, so I wanted to see how everything was.

I've been thinking about all this...if I could not give you what you wanted & needed, then I think you should be able to find what can make you happy in life.

I don't want to stand in your way. I was just trying my best to save what we had.

Anyway, given all that has happened, I think that perhaps we should go ahead & go our separate ways.

I really hate that it has gotten to this point.
I also think we should do it in an easy & fast way so we can get on with our lives.
I want to be happy & I know you want to be happy as well.

I believe we can work out a simplified agreement on how to handle all this.

And since we only have the house together, that is where I think we can discuss on how to handle it.

I think the best thing to do is to sell the house as quickly as possible. And we can agree on how to best do this.

I think we both can say that keeping this simple will be better.

If we can agree on what we can do, then we can then go our separate ways that much quicker.

Once we can get an agreement worked out between us, I am willing to seek & pay a legal person or notary to take care of it all.

Love, jeff


----------


Hey, well honestly I was waiting for you to get back to me since I texted last.

So, I read your email...I mean, as difficult a decision as this is...I feel its the right one. I really do feel as though we can find people who compliment us better. I will cooperate with everything and make it as easy as possible. Will probably be out of the house sometime in Sept.

Hopefully in time we can forgive each other and be friends. You never saw the other texts that said I would have never met James unless I was officially single, and even then it would have been a remote possibility. You didn't talk to me about anything...just took what you saw and ran with it and tried to ruin me with it. I would have never taken that final step...its not in me to do that to someone. Those texts were supposed to be "not real"...not seen by anyone...and I figured the "relationship" would just dissolve eventually and not be a part of my real life at all...and I'm certain it would have if given the opportunity. The fact still remains that I've been unhappy with us for a long time and I don't believe counseling wouldn't have helped. My biggest regret is not having the heart to just talk to you about everything and just end things on decent terms when it was a possibility.

I do wish you nothing but happiness and I really pray you find a wonderful woman who you can have children with and a happy life with. Someone who brings out the best in you...I know I didn't do that for you. Hopefully I can find someone who will adopt with me and bring out the best in me as well.

Love, WW

I shoulda known this was going down the toilet when he had to ask approval from "Mommy" about whether to reclaim his own home from the cyber-whore living there. Instead of the needed "John Wayne", what shows up is "Tiny Tim"!

I will leave to others any remaining communication on this thread. This is NG, signing off!

(And forget the bagpipes, dude! Instead, bring a squeegee to help keep her mirror sparkly clean!)

No she won't, and I've got 50 cyber bucks to bet on it. She'll be there as long as you allow her to be in control. Why shouldn't she? You're allowing her to steer the ship. Time to man up and get your [censored] back in that house....NOW!

Seriously pal, if this is the way she wants to act, then she can do it in another zip code.

Where did your nads go?

Man the eff up!!!!!!!!

Sheez!

So...you've just gotten your 'shove-off' email. You've cleared the path for her continued infidelity; you've high-fived her on that. Can you agree to NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING to end the marriage?? Stop with the agreeing to pay for legal fees!

AND GO HOME!! GET YOUR HOME BACK! SHEESH! DO IT NOW!

Stop asking her permission.

I'm beginning to wonder if this thread is a hoax. While we have seen BHs leave the home before I've never seen one lie down as flat as this. I can't realistically imagine that anyone being continually cheated on would write a letter to the wayward offering them full control and offering to pay for whatever she wanted to do!

We say move home and the response is 'I'll ask what the cheater thinks?'

Doesnt seem right.

FarmerJ, I really suggest taking the bull by the horns now. Not only will it prevent disaster NOW, it will help prevent disaster in the future.

It appears, between what happened with your ex-wife and what is transpiring now, is that you seem to be the kind of man who is a complete pushover. That attracts people who love to step on you and rub your face in dirt. You will always attract a bully when you are always submissive.

Please, for your own sake, start learning to stand up for yourself. Laying over and playing dead does nothing but hurt you. Why do you do it? Is it because you are scared of confrontation? Is it because you want the path of least resistance in the hopes that people will like you?

I don't understand why you apologize to people who do such horrible things to you. Your letter sounds like it was written by a battered woman? Like an apology for her hurting you?