I also felt that it was time for me to tell him EVERYTHING, something I had successfully dodged up to this point.

Okay, taking you at your word that "EVERYTHING" was revealed and uncovered, it was most probably the worst day you and your BH have ever lived through. What it can be likened to is finally paying the bill that you had run up with every action, thought, and emotion invested in your dalliance with OM.

Now, take the time to ensure that all the pus is out of the infection. Concentrate on uncovering anything that you have not told your BH, and bring it up yourself, unsolicited. A lunch date with OM that might not yesterday have seemed salient, will have disastrous potential impact to your recovery weeks down the road. A romantic card, that you put someplace and forgot about, will be a dagger to his efforts at healing. WORK at this. Be absolutely certain that nothing exists that will trip up your journey together. Please understand that you would find detritus of innumerable "trickle-truth" incidents on this site that you do NOT want to add to.

If you really have come clean about everything, then also be comforted by the knowledge that yesterday will likely be the worst day you and BH will ever endure.

OK, I am here. Actually, I pointed this site out to my WW on Day 3 after the Discovery. And yes, yesterday was a horrible day, we were up to 2 in the morning talking, crying, and praying.

I could say more, but I need to leave now so I can meet my wife at her work for lunch.

Welcome, MrE !

You will find many, many, folks here whose only hope and goal is to support the two of you through this awful time. As one whose "post-A" marriage is incredibly grander than the "pre-A" version, I would ask you read the principles and guidances on this site, continue to take the long view of your life, and post here as often as you feel the need. As I have been known to say to other colleagues:

Eyes on the prize; eyes ALWAYS on the prize!

I have strong doubts about that this e-mail was from OMW. More like OM did know that he was busted by "email accident"(did you inform him?) and by sending you the fake e-mail did some damage control. I strongly suggest to your husband to contact OMW by phone.


Did you try to hide things from this forum too?

It�s been a long time since the last post, so all of you are owed an update.

Shortly after the last post in August, I went to see a psychiatrist who was immensely helpful. He put me on some medication, and put us in contact with a therapist who was very helpful and full supportive of MB principles. We were both on the radio show on November 7th. My wife had fully defogged by the beginning of 2012. We have been successful at establishing a romantic relationship that is better than ever before. We bought a second home in another state and we will be moving there sometime in the next year. I am no longer on medication, and our therapist discharged us a couple of months ago.

I still have issues with triggers, but that is lessening over time.

I am addicted to MB. I listen to the radio show every day, and I lurk around the forums a lot. Sometimes the content can trigger me, but the good information is worth the risk. I feel like we owe MB a lot. I have written two free mobile apps for Android and BlackBerry to support the radio show, which is my way of payback for all the help this program has afforded my marriage.

I fully believe that full recovery will take two years, but we are well on our way.

What EP's has she put in place?

Is this you guys?
Radio clips from Steve and Kathy
Segment #2
Segment #3

Not allowed to have a male supervisor - this one comes directly for Dr. Harley via the radio show. (I got her AP/former supervisor fired.)
No Facebook or any other social network.
Changed her cell phone number and keep present number private. I take all the calls for her and route them to her if need be.
I drop in on her work frequently and unannounced.
No friends of the opposite sex. She is required to report *any* conversations with the opposite sex to me, and I too, to her.
We share all email passwords.
Total transparency - we talk about everything that happens to us everyday.
We are together as much as possible, pretty much all of the time when we aren't working. The 15-hour UA rule is a slam-dunk for us. We are topping 30 hours right now.

I usually drive her to work, just so we have the time together and I can keep an eye on things. I am sure the people there wonder why I am always around, but she works in a public place so they just have to put up with me.

Yep, that's us.

With the transparency and EPs in place it sounds like you're on the right path.

How's your UA time? ETA: Sorry just went back and saw your 30 hrs. Woot woot. Good job.

Wow, this is great, mrEureka! Congratulations, you guys!

Thank you for the apps.

Bravo to you, Mr and Mrs Eureka!

Congratulations on your progress. Great news.

Thanks for your contributions of the apps. What a nice thing to do.

AM

I was thinking more about your EP inquiry, and there are a couple of ones that I failed to mention.

First, my wife is not allowed to contact a couple of her brothers. This is for the rest of her life. I don't think it necessary to go into details here, but I mention it because it shows how seriously we take this.

The other is that she is not to take substitute jobs at work. This is one that came about around two months ago. Usually, these substitute jobs are benign, but once they put her alone with a man who is a supervisor (although not where she usually works). Being transparent, she tells me all about this afterward. I trigger. I point out to her how she was depositing and receiving love units without even thinking about it. She finds out in subsequent days from things this other guy has said that I was absolutely right. So, new EP, no taking a chance that you might end up working alone with a guy, even temporarily.

Always good to read a success story!

One suggestion on the social media front: after my H's affair I did not want him on Facebook at all, esp. since that's how it all started. Lately, with my daughter away at college though, I hate that he misses out on her pics and stuff. Plus, he doesn't communicate nearly as often with his mother and sister not being on FB.

I'd read a suggestion once I thought was a great idea - to have a joint facebook page. I'm going to talk to my hubby about it because I think it's a good solution for us.

It took a couple of hundred hours to do that, but then again, look at all the time you vets spend volunteering to help others with your posts. No different. So, thank you.

A success story in process, anyway.

Before this all happened, if someone had shown me the MB materials, I would have said it was all simplistic psychobabble.

But - it - works.

That, to me, is amazing!

Ok I'm missing something. Please tell me about the apps.

Look at the sidebar of this page. See where it say "Free MB Radio App". I am responsible (if that is the right word) for all the ones except the iPhone one.

I keep remembering EPs that I left off my list.

My wife is not allowed to go to a certain local city - Posomapolis - without me being with her.

There are a bunch of individual high risk of encounter places that neither of us go to.

We GPS track each other's cell phones. It is an expected thing, and we are always to keep our phones with us.

thank you sir. Now I remember. I use them kindle, android.

That is so good about the EPs. Brother.... hmmmm good choice when it's to support your marriage.

Did you hear the show of the couple married for 38 years and the WH had an affair for 8 years? Dr. H himself said that if he didn't live by the EPs he puts in place every day he would be just like the WH. It's a good show. I posted it on Pepperband's thread about using resentment as punishment because the BW was "brow beating" the WH every day.