Don't suggest to her anything (that's the old Jeff talking). You tell her how it's how it going to be (the new Jeff talking). If she doesn't like it, then she can come back and live with you and your family. I kinda doubt she'll opt for that one.

You're finally starting to take control, so don't relinquish it with suggestions. Keep it by telling her how it's going to be.

Jeff, do you want a divorce, or to reconcile? I'm a little confused on your goal.

Why reconcile?
She is gone...gone several months ago.

I have to go ahead with filing for D.
Why would I want to reconcile?

Things would not get better with her. She is a serial cheater.
I mean, this last time was the worst of all.

She was calling the guy up in the middle of the night & making sure I was asleep...

She was using video call with the guy so they could masturbate with each other....

She reads erotic romance novels & masturbates on our couch. ( Ive seen the vibrators in between the cushions of the couch)

She admitted that she was going to tell me that we were separated & never reveal what she was doing secretly

No reason to reconcile. I tried to do that. She has not given any indication she has wanted to do this since DDay.
I'm tired, worn out, disheartened, etc by all this.

Before burning the couch, I believe he beat the ever Godly hell out of the OM--sent him to the hospital with a few broken bones.

Such a happy ending was had by all!

Well, not by all. OM was doing an underage girl shortly thereafter and will be spending time in a federal pound-you-in-the-[censored] prison! LOL, he's getting ready to redefine OM.

It is always wonderful to see a guy go from doormat to a strong MAN. Since I was a doormat for many years I know what a difference it is and it feels good.

It looks like you have a great plan to get back in your home. Good for you.

Please though make sure you do get a VAR and carry it with you at all times. I have personally seen with a brother and a friend where their now XW tried to manufacture charges and get them arrested.

My brother had a little girl and he was accused of molesting his daughter. You don't have a children but it will be that you hit her or tried to rape her. The VAR saved my brother so please make sure you have one and always have it.

Best of luck to you. It sucks that your wife would throw away a great guy. I always here from TV and everywhere else that and I quote "A good man is hard to find." And yet when women have a great guy they will throw him away in a heartbeat. Kind of sad when you think about it.

Best of luck to you. It sucks that your wife would throw away a great guy. I always here from TV and everywhere else that and I quote "A good man is hard to find." And yet when women have a great guy they will throw him away in a heartbeat. Kind of sad when you think about it.

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Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it very much.


Well I take ownership for all my contributions to our relationship. I try to be humble & realized a long time ago that I can improve myself. There is always for improvement.

She's not here to defend herself & explain the issues she has with me, but I do know what those issues are. We discussed them a few times.

She wanted me to be more passionate about her. To look at her & treat her with lust & wanting.
She wanted me to be romantic like when we were dating.
She wanted me to be more confidant in life & not be shy.
She wanted me to be outgoing & not uncomfortable in settings that were unfamiliar to me.

Truthfully. I think these were the only issues she had with me.

Some of the things that I do though (maybe good things):
I cook, wash dishes, wash clothes, grocery shop, etc.
I can cook Thai, Viet & Chinese dishes. It is a hobby of mine that I have a lot of fun with. I also like to prepare meals for parties that we have had at our house.

We would go out to dinner & I would pay for it all. (usually $100-150 every time we went out). Every time we went to a restaurant such as Carrabba's Grill, Bonefish, Shula's Steakhouse,etc...She would have several drinks in addition to her meal...I've learned that drinks are quite expensive.

I could go on about what I have done that might be considered good, but that doesn't matter in her eyes...she only sees the bad.

I do admit, that her weight was an issue for me. It was from the beginning. We went to premarital counseling, I brought up the issue & she cried until we had to go to another topic. She knew how I felt. I got every indication from her though that she was going to get into shape, etc. She told me...after the wedding I will get into shape. It didnt happen obviously. She was a size 20 when we met & she is now a size 18. I didnt want her to be a size 4....just slim down to a healthy weight. She was 29 when we met & she was taking high blood pressure medications.


Anyway, I am not a 'great guy'. I can't be. I've been married twice now...both women cheating on me. I try & try at the beginning of the relationship to be a super great guy...they fall in love with me & over time I can't sustain being that super guy.

I don't know what to do in life now. I really want a family. I know for sure that I would be a great dad. I would love them beyond anything one could imagine..because my child would have part of me in them.

Well I snooped some more to see what WW is up to.

She is going strong on the dating site curvydates.
She is receiving emails & smiles thru the site from many men.



She has even given out her personal email address to one guy. Emailing all day yesterday until 2 am this morning.
This is a guy she just met yesterday.

She has emailed him self pics of herself in lingerie & other shots of her in a bra, at his request.

It does hurt to see her doing this. The woman I was going to have a child with, degrading herself this way.

Should I ever tell her that I know what she has done on the dating site? I thought about printing out the pictures for her to see, so she knows for sure that I know.

No don't give away your intel sources. Save everything as evidence for your lawyer.

Did you see the pic?
Sorry, I'm just trying to see if what I am seeing is real...
My mind can play denial

Start trusting your instincts! I wouldn't worry too much about what you see her saying/doing online. Just treat it all as admin work and document it. Let your lawyer sort the wheat from the chaff. Get a really GOOD one.

JR, I hope by now you're sitting in YOUR living room, after spraying Lysol all around!

BTW: CGN says she would like children "someday"!!! Tick-tock, tick-tock.....

Jeff, you married someone hoping they would change after you married them. And then in counceling she was continually crying because you didn't accept her for who she was. This sounds doomed from the start.

Hi Jeff, just wanting to wish you and your family well for this evening, and a full belly of good Thai food in preparation for tomorrow. I would suggest having very enticing smells wafting from the kitchen at the point where she comes back tomorrow. Mark your territory!

Let us know what's going on, Jeff - stay solid! We're rooting for you!

Hope all is well, Jeff. Update when you can.

Was today, Saturday, reclaim your house back day?

yeah I know I shouldnt be watching her...
She has been telling one guy that she isnt looking for a relationship now..just chatting for now. And that she isnt even divorced yet...she feels single, just not single on paper yet.


-------

Yes, I am sitting here in my house typing this.

I haven't been here in 4 weeks (28 days)

I've got my folks here with me.

I know by snooping that the WW has gone down to her parents house in Gainesville (about 2 hours away).

I am assuming that she will text me tomorrow asking if we are gone & when she can return.

I will notify her that plans have changed & we are staying here.
She can either stay up stairs in her room OR get a room at the Extended Stay Hotel, where I have been staying for the past 4 weeks.

If she decides to stay somewhere else, should we leave the house for say 2-3 hours so she can grab her stuff,clothes, etc?

Thought I would post a few things from snooping...
(I know I shouldn't care, but it makes me mad & more determined to rid this person out of my life)

The following are her words to some of these guys (I use that term loosely...they seem like horny losers)

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Wayward Wife Quotes from Internet Dating Site --Curvydates.com
enjoy



Listen...I'm not trying to play any games with you...sure, I'd love to see you in a shirtless pic and see more of your body...I'd like to see your tattoos too. I'm not sending you a topless pic, so if you think its that unfair you don't have to send me anything...I'm a fair and reasonable and repectful person...
Sent from Android


Hey Bob,
I'm really not looking for a relationship at this point...I'm not even divorced yet. I do feel single already though...just not single on paper yet...will be soon though. I'm just chatting here and there...I do talk to a lot of people on here. I don't want a rebound relationship, so I'm taking my time just chatting with people. Your email was a bit overwhelming...so I haven't yet taken the time to really respond to the whole thing...I keep getting distracted. I'm sorry...will try to respond soon.

(This guy Bob came on really strong with his email. It sounded so needy & pathetic that even I felt he is more of a doormat than I ever was.)

Indeed. Makes me shudder how low a wayward will go dor their dope. I love how he won't respond with a pic. He's prob clinically obese or married.

This is how much she values herself. She's a porno actress doing it for free for numerous internet losers.

This is not an enemy to fear Jeff. Just tell her how it will be.

I would NOT leave the house for a few hours. She would change your locks. At least one person should stay and 'help'. Or I would tell her to just take a bag and you'll send the rest of her stuff on.