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I am assuming that she will text me tomorrow asking if we are gone & when she can return.
I will notify her that plans have changed & we are staying here. Not that your plans have changed, just that you are staying in your house like any homeowner would, period. Act like it's ridiculous to even ask if you're staying somewhere else. As you mentioned, you can recommend a nice hotel down the street. No, you don't leave your house so that she can remove her stuff.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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No it was HER crazy assumption that you were only staying one night.
Like NW says, just act like she's crazy to even suggest your leaving.
And it IS crazy. You haven't done anything wrong, you didn't end the marriage and you've been staying in a hotel.
If she wants to leave the marriage - that should actually involve leaving!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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If she texts asking when you're leaving, just reply.
"Oh my family aren't sure when they are leaving us"
If she queries the "us", just say "Yes, us. Unless you're going somewhere?"
If she asks if you are moving back in "I don't understand what you mean - staying at a hotel for a while is not moving out. I never moved out".
Then when she goes batcrap crazy just say "Its only temporary until we sell. If you're not comfortable staying here with me, you can make any other living arrangements you like"
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Can someone PM me or can I PM someone? I have a question that I don't want to post here?
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The best you can do is e-mail it to JustUss2@aol.com, and ask to have it forwarded, I guess. As a fellow male, I would be willing to answer it to the best of my ability. JU knows how to reach me.
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Can I post an email address here? I've got a sort of legal question
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Can I post an email address here? I've got a sort of legal question We aren't legal people, Jeff. We're peers. If you have a legal question go ahead and post it, and we may be able to point you in the right direction to get your answer.
Last edited by maritalbliss; 08/12/12 07:44 PM.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Can I post an email address here? I've got a sort of legal question We aren't legal people, Jeff. We're peers. If you have a legal question go ahead and post it, and we may be able to point you in the right direction to get your answer. Jeff, like mb said, post your question. While we might not be able to tell you what you can do in certain circumstances, we can probably tell you what not to do if you're in a radical frame of mind or simply confused about something. Just tell us what's going on. You have 6 hours to edit and delete your posts. Keep that in mind as well. The mods can and will help if it goes past the 6 hour window, so don't worry.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Well I don't really want to ask here in a public forum... I don't want 'anyone' to use what I say here against me.
The issue at hand has got me very very worried.
****EDIT******
Last edited by JustUss; 08/12/12 09:30 PM. Reason: NO email addresses posted!
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Well I'm no legal expert, but I shot you an email.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Well, Jeff, if you're asking legal questions, and then posting a throwaway email addy that could easily be read as ************ is not a really good way of not posting something that could be used against you.
Last edited by JustUss; 08/12/12 09:31 PM. Reason: reference to email address
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Sorry, I would send a private message, but I guess the forum doesnt support this feature.
I sent Viper & Northwood emails.
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Twelve hours and..........nothing?
It would have been expected that WW would have raised (un)holy hell on finding folks occupying her xxx-video studio.
JR, what goes on?
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Hmm. Jeff, what is going one? You ARE still in YOUR house, correct?
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I am still alive.
I need someone's advice.
Travel Nursing & what type of housing they can get.
Long story short stbxw is wanting to be a travel nurse. She can then go off to other cities & live their for 13 weeks at the time. I think their housing is either free or they get a stipend. Either way, it works out great for them.
She & I have a mortgage together on our home, it is about $2000 a month.
Her suggestion is that she pays me $400 a month for 9 months max.
She feels this is fair since this is what she paid when we were living together for the utilities & cable tv.
I'm trying to get a feel how this even looks like to others.
So anyone that is a nurse or knows a nurse, please help me in what the housing is for a travel nurse.
Thanks
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Her suggestion is that she pays me $400 a month for 9 months max. Hell No!
I'd want at least half of the mortgage payment each month until the property sells, but this is a clear indicator that you need to get an attorney and the courts involved to resolve this. Your divorce decree will spell out EXACTLY who pays what and who gets what. $400 is 1/5 of the mortgage and nine months is a short time to sell a house in. Besides, what recourse would you have if she chose not to pay for months 2-9? None. That's what. I wouldn't talk to her anymore about any financial matters unless said discussions result in a legally binding agreement. Let the courts handle this or you're going to get screwed over.
Last edited by Northwood8900; 08/17/12 02:32 PM.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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thanks Northwood Yeah I she said today, that she went to see a lawyer about our agreement. Is it enough that the **EDIT** cheated on me, signs up for dating websites & then on top of that wants to make money of me by letting me take the brunt of the mortgage payment. ------- Hey Jeff, So I decided to run the agreement over with a lawyer to help me understand it. He basically talked to me about home selling options, since that's really all we have to settle between us. He said that since the house is prob worth about $185k per zillow.com, that we could just put it on the market ourselves and try to sell it...and take anything over $180k and split the difference between us. This option would at least save our credit. He says a quick sell is usually only granted if the owners have not paid the mortgage for at least 6 mos. And we would still owe money at the end anyway. There will be no profit/proceeds for us with this sell. I can send you $400/mo to go towards the mortgage every month until we sell the house, but we need to agree on a loss that we will split. Like...we agree to accept any offer of $180k and over so we can get out from under this house. Then we would split what is still owed. But we have to agree on something that is reasonable because I don't want to be bound to sending $400/mo for years while the house goes unsold because we set the price too high...that's not smart...it will end up costing us both more in the long run if we do that. I came up with $400 because its the average cost of the cable and utilities I was paying. I can keep you on my cell plan and keep paying that until I can stop the $400/mo. If we don't agree on a reasonable selling price, then I'd want to put a cap on how long I send the monthly $400....like 9 mos or something...we will come up with an agreed time frame.. I agree with everything else...keep what was ours...keep our own 401k, no alimony, split household items/assets, be responsible for our own cars and payments, split IVF refund...the tax refund for 2011 was put towards the IVF though...so at this point its part of the same sum that will be the IVF refund... I plan on talking with my travel nurse recruiter today and finding out the details of that, but I hope to be doing that by Oct...will figure out living arrangements. You should move back in the house ASAP though...like I said...I will try to be out by mid Sept...like the 18th. Tell me what you think. I also want this to be as fair as possible without dragging the home selling out for longer than is needed. WW
Last edited by CicadaMB; 08/17/12 08:07 PM. Reason: TOS: profanity
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So anyone that is a nurse or knows a nurse, please help me in what the housing is for a travel nurse. It's not relevant and not your problem.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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