You are supposed to be focusing on meeting the top 3 ENs right now. You will wear yourself out and you won't do a well enough job meeting the ones that will matter.

What you should do for asking her out somewhere, is start with doing a family outing, where you ask her to join you guys, and if she turns you down, you go anyways, while sending her a pic. Then, after a short while, you ask her to go out somewhere with you, and if she says no, then you go anyways, and have some fun.

Doing good (IMHO). I had to watch the kids for a few hours at 8 am(on 3 hours sleep) so she could go to a work meeting for an hour. She called to get me up I asked if she needed anything. Milk for the kids. Picked that up and decided to get her a frap from Starbucks (I know what she likes). Took the dog for his bathroom break bc she was getting ready for work. Cleaned the kitchen for her. She was surprised when she got back. Meeting needs but it is still difficult. I don't want her to give up and told her please don't give up.

Will meet with a lawyer Thursday to get child agreements in place (there is worry about her taking the kids to OM place out of state. I doubt that but she is def not in her right mind). My Chief has alot of concerns that WS will do something to cost my job. All it takes is a lie by her and by state law it can happen. There is alot of walking on broken glass. Careful steps and still trying to save the marriage (No one thinks it can be done but as a poster said "Try because today you are still married". It is a delicate balance of meeting EN, being nice and James Bond and ensuring the children are protected. Lots of advice (all appreciated).

Will post after the meeting with the lawyer. She knows I want to save the marriage but things need to be in place so the children are protected. This is tough. I still want to save my marriage and am not doing anything court related yet but talking to the lawyer to get intel on the process.

The nice Plan A is getting a little easier. I just ignore thinking about OM and them together and remember to focus on any chance to my wife and I working on our marriage.

Any thoughts? Thanks.

Try to meet more intimate and personal needs than cleaning.

The idea is to 'drug' her with compliments, attention, affection, PA etc. Not provide domestic help freeing up her time to feel more independent. The frap is a good example of affection.

Remember sometimes when you are hitting the mark, she will be annoyed. Too bad. You won't walk on eggshells.

And I wouldn't 'ignore' OM. That makes you look uncaring.

If you can't confront the traditional way you really really need exposure and possibly a legal attack, like AofA or getting a lawyer to tell him he will be named in the divorce and called up to account for himself.

I was cheering when I began reading this update, until I read this line, " I don't want her to give up and told her please don't give up." RELATIONSHIP TALK, a NO NO in Plan A.

I think that you did a great job trying to meet ENs there, especially since you have stated that she isn't up to you meeting any at present. Just remember that these are things that you are going to do in any future relationship, with or without your wife.

Also, remember that Plan A has both the carrot AND the stick. If you do PLan A without stick, you're veering into PLan Doormat, and you don't want to venture down that path.

Have you given any thought to phoning the coaching center, or getting onto the radio show?