No more John Cusack movies.

Huh? Explain this one.

Huh? Explain this one.

I'm not going to argue with you. But know this, you are comparing masturbation to romance. Are you sure you don't want to throw out Shakespeare too?

I can't find the article... can't quite put together the proper search string to bring it up.

Boiled down to MB-ish terms, the male roles in romantic movies often build an unrealistic picture of romantic partners.

Romeo and Juliette is suspect...


And yes, I am comparing romance (novels) to masturbation (to pornography).

Because I am a jealous, selfish man, I want sole custody of my wife's romantic intimations.

Wanna meet in the alley about it?

There have also been studies that show reading romance novels affect women's reports of relationship satisfaction (did a search as I wrote this, one stated; "women with low relationship expectations reported HIGHER relationship satisfaction, while women with high relationship expectations reported LOWER satisfaction" - go figure).

In what way? I don't know specifically what John Cusack wrote, but I do like romantic comedies. Some are more realistic than others.

One problem I have heard alleged is that romantic movies set people up for the "fake" expectation of lifetime love. I've heard Dr. Harley specifically address that -- he of course believes in lifetime love, since he and Joyce have lived it.

[quote=HoldHerHand]Raising expectations is typically a good thing.

"Relationship counselors often face common misconceptions in their clients � that if your partner truly loves you they'd know what you need without you communicating it, that your soul mate is predestined. We did a rigorous content analysis of romantic comedies and found that the same issues were being portrayed in these films,"

The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.

"We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds.

"The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise."

The hero in romance novels may be, as Ogas and Gaddam describe him, �virile, dangerous, and lusty� (p. 87), but he�s not reduced to a sex object either�as, so commonly, are women in �adult� fiction for men. In fact, the hero in romances becomes increasingly human�and vulnerable�as the story develops and, unexpectedly, he falls head-over-heels in love with the much more innocent (and less experienced) heroine.

These heroes are virtually always alpha males, to whom a considerable majority of women seem almost magnetically attracted. And romance novels exploit this preference in various ways. It�s not simply the hero�s physical prowess that is so compelling to female readers: it�s also his �status, confidence, and competence� (p. 95). Each of these traits contributes to his overall dominance�and such male authority, or ascendance, is what most women appear hard-wired to be susceptible to, as well as willing to submit to. Ogas and Gaddam, observing that studies have repeatedly demonstrated the erotic appeal of alpha dominance to women�from the sensory cues of the male�s voice, to his scent, to his movement and gait, to his sharply defined facial features�provide an illustration from Angelle Trieste�s Devil Falls (2008). Note how well this excerpt illustrates what research has by now many times validated:

"Victoria looked up and to her relief saw a man trotting toward her. An umbrella dangled from his hand, and casual but expensive clothes wrapped his long, lean frame. He was gloriously golden, with a face that rivaled Lucifer�s in the moment of his fall from grace.

Damien Kirk. A cellist celebrated the world over.

The magazine photos didn�t do him justice. They had failed to capture the magnetic vividness of his blue eyes and the electrifying vitality of his presence. She could feel it through the gates, even over the ferocity of the dogs, and she had no doubt he had dominated the vast concert halls, driving the crowds wild. Her heartbeat picked up the pace, and it wasn�t all from relief."

Hollywood, romance novels, and other fairy tales frequently make the point that you should follow your heart's desire when it comes to love and romance. There is this romantic notion that when two people fall in love or are mutually attracted to each other in a passionate manner then the birds start to sing, rainbows comes out, violins are heard, love is in the air, and the couple should act on this attraction regardless of consequence. Whether it is Romeo and Juliet or Brad and Angelina this theme has been part of our cultural mythos for centuries. Maybe this is a good idea but often it is a really really bad idea.

Dungeons and Dragons outshines them all, if you ask me.