Mirabelle, he does not seem desperate, nor is he pleading. I think he is dealing with a lot of depression andis totally down on himself.

Hi wdmom, thanks for the update. I was worried about you and am glad to hear he has moved out for your sake. Do you think his affair is still active?

You would probably feel much better if you went into Plan B and cut off all contact with him. The fact that he is not willing to do anything to fix your marriage has to be a great source of your depression. Everytime you speak to him you are drawn back into the bad memories of his affair and refusal to work on your marriage. If you would go into Plan B, you will find yourself feeling much better in a couple of weeks.

That is true. Thank you, Melody Lane. I appreciate all help you gave, and I admire all that you do and everyone does on MB to help people save their marriages. It is a true ministry.

I really don't think the affair is still going on. OW still messages me from time to time. She will have nothing else to do with him. She realized she needed to finally move on after being strung along by WH for 7 years...

Thanks for your kind words, wd. And thanks again for checking in!

Our divorce was final 2 weeks ago. It was very quick and painless as we had no kids or assets together.

He moved out the end of February and I continued to monitor all of his accounts and saw no contact. I didn't want to make any rash promises to him, or make any quick decisions about divorce. However, 4 or 5 weeks after he moved out, I was praying and asking God to show me what I should do. I suddenly remembered an old yahoo account we had set up so we could instant message. I checked it and found that he and the other woman were back together and had been for a couple of weeks. And she had told me that she had washed her hands of him for the way he had treated her. She continued to contact him and finally he relented. I'm not sure if they are still together. I heard from one of my high school friends that he is now dating another friend of ours from our high school class! It was hardly a marriage. I've been pretty sad over it, but now that work has started up again, I am feeling much better, and am glad it's over. Sad because all I've wanted is to share life with, and grow old with someone I love, but feel I may not want to chance it again.

WD, I am sorry, but I am relieved you are not living in despair and uncertainyty anymore. You gave him every opportunity to come clean and change. It was all in his court. I hope you can take a breather and some day find someone who is worthy of your attentions. You are such a good person and deserve so much better.

Thanks for the update, Winn. I'm very sorry that your H didn't step up to the plate. You deserve much better than this. I wish you all the best and hope that one day you will meet someone in whom you can trust and with whom you can share your life.