No not yet. Need to acquire more proof, and his contacts. But the way things are going it's getting very easy to want to do. She just left minutes ago, again, to "go drinking". Lyihg all the way and it's all I can do to not call her Bull-s and tell her I know exactly what she is doing. Was really hoping to stop this before it gets physical or too physical.

Every time she's home now, she can't wait to leave. Super stressed at anything our 4yo DD does. Been wanting to drink to make her happy. She prob is going drinking, but I know she's either going to the OM's house or to the bar with him.

This is F'd!

2L2L, what is your proof of the affair? It takes MAX about 2 days to get proof. What is your intel and when will you be exposing?

There you go! Do you have a tail on her? Are you getting pictures?

Ok, now I am confused. You have proof. So why have you not exposed? And why doesn't your wife know you have the proof?

What is wrong with this picture? Do I smell a little conflict avoidance going on here? I see you have been here 3 weeks and you haven't exposed?

That means something is VERY WRONG here.

This is called ENABLING. Your wife runs around like an alley cat in heat and you say nothing? ARe you serious? That kind of complacence reflects a lack of CARING. Do you realize this?

If you are not going to follow the advice we give you, then this is hopeless. We have been telling you for WEEKS to expose the affair and you have done nothing. How many times do we have to tell you?

Are we just more serious about this than you are? Because it looks to me like we have wasted a lot of valuable time telling you to expose and it still has not been done.

The only "proof" I have is an audio recording which I can only here when they weren't driving fast. There's very little there, however, he obviously wasn't supposed to be in the car, as she was having a "me day". I was told earlier in this post to not let her know that I know, something to the tune of "why give her your best asset"

Given his basic last name, I haven't been able to secure any contacts on his side, though I was able to narrow down that his Dad's name is on the mortgage, and one of the sites listed probable relateds, but still haven't gotten FB's, ph, or email for any.

I'll admit, I'm back and forth between exposing or not, but every day that goes by, especially after last night, I see I really have no other choice. I'm actually scared to do it, but again, I've got nothing else to do, and the majority here can't be wrong. Everything she is doing is textbook A-ery, so I'm hoping that following the textbooks will net me the result I'm after. What's to say it doesn't just push her farther? To become NASTY when it comes time to divorce because of the exposure. I'm worried about losing our only source of income in a time where jobs are hard to find.

This is why I've been looking through posts to find motivation and tips on exposure. Also, desperate to get through SAA which I just picked up yesterday.

I don't have money to be buying gps units, her phone is not a pc phone, so no keylogger poss., she doesn't FB at all-but has page with 12 friends. Certainly no $ to hire a PI, and when she goes out, I'm home with DD and no car.

This is some amazing complacence on every single level. First off, it doesn't take weeks to get the information and it doesn't take weeks to expose the affair.

The fact that you are "scared" to expose the affair indicates you don't take this seriously at all. That might explain why you don't have the goods in all these weeks even though it is obvious to even a MORON that she is out catting around.

What kind of a husband puts up with that?


How about looking for "motivation" to save your marriage? Are you motivated in the least to do that? If you refuse to follow the advice here and aren't serious about saving your marriage, there isn't a damn thing we can do for you.

And isn't that all so convenient since you don't want to expose anyway?

Not a matter of convenience. A matter of can't afford. I only just proof the affair was still on 3 days ago. Can't very well expose without some kind of proof. And I still haven't found any of the OM contacts. Now that I have proof, I'm working on it.

So I can confront her and tell her I know she was with him Saturday, and last night, and tonight? And I'm supposed to do it Plan A style?

These are all EXCUSES. Even the poorest BS can scrape up a $100 for a GPS. Radio Shack has one for $99: http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=13089009

When a person is willing, they find a way.

Just been trying to learn before leaping. Trying to do this as fast as possible, as right as possible. There is so much to learn, I can read all these great posts with info in them, all the MB free stuff and the books at the same time. Trust me, if I could I would be learning this stuff 24hrs a day, but my job is from when my daughter wakes up to when she goes to bed. It's hard to find the time to ingest all this.

Yes, you can expose. If you know the affair is on, you EXPOSE it. You don't have to possess a video tape.

Just the fact that your wife runs around like an alley cat, should be a CLUE to what is going on. I don't know of any married man who would tolerate that.

You're right. Thanks for your direct, stern approach ML, I appreciate it.

But some are not excuses, I cant keylog her phone as it's an older style regular phone, no software. She also has it pw'd as well as the phone carrier account online.

Is there a read here on how to do the confront in a calm and cool method and what should / shouldn't be said?

I'm sure I saw it here somewhere, probably in Dr. Harley's articles. I'm going to look for it. In Plan A?

You need to get moving, my friend! Be proactive and get to work. The time is NOW. The longer you are enabling her the worse it is going to be. You can't afford to put this off any more.

No. You do not need to read any such thing. Use your judgement and be FIRM and STRAIGHTFORWARD. You should DEMAND that she end all contact or this will lead to divorce. You don't need to read an article to do that.

But your confrontation needs to be backed up with some action or she will know you aren't serious. By action, I mean a hellacious exposure that starts with the workplace.

How does your wife have money to go catting around and you don't have money for a GPS unit?