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Do I expose as I get certain areas ready? Or wait and do it all at once, but still within the day? I could send the workplace now, but don't have the FB stuff ready, and still trying to finalize POSOM's contact attack.
My understanding is to do it all at once. Yes? NO?
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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I would do it all at once.**
** "Do it all at once" means that I'm thinking you'll do this in the evening or morning after looking up crap on the internet.
But, to keep up your momentum with WW, go ahead and send it. Follow up with the rest of your targets tonight.
Last edited by Northwood8900; 09/12/12 03:53 PM. Reason: Added some fine print.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Please listen to northwood, he is giving you great advice! And be sure and shoot out a mass email to her mother and family members using the letter I gave you.
Keep up the good work!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Workplace Exp. letter: To HR Manager:
This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of company Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.
My wife, WW and co-worker, POSOM, both working in the xx xx building (xx Floor 2, dept unknown) are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place in the workplace. This has been going on since the beginning of August 2012, both on and off site. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WW and POSOM are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their relationship.
If you have any questions, please call me at xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.
Regards,
2L2L Few changes, basically used as is. Good? Good to go 
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Doing otherwise gives them a heads up that something is coming and allows them to formulate a defense:
"Hey, Earl, there's this nutjob that thinks I'm fooling around with his wife. Ain't that a laugh! Anyways, he's liable to say just about anything so just ignore it."
Me (BH)
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Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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NW, here is the problem with him. He is a conflict avoider and if he can't find info on one person, he will put off the entire exposure. That is why I think it would be better for him to roll with what he has. Otherwise we wil be sitting herein the same position atChristmas.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He will tell us in 6 months that he couldn't expose because he is still trying to find contact info on grampa festus in crapwit, Utah and northwood told him to wait until he could expose all at once.
This dude needs to expose NOW, on the heels of his first confrontation.
Last edited by MelodyLane; 09/12/12 03:58 PM. Reason: Festus, not fetus!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well, I was thinking that he meant tomorrow but if "tomorrow never comes" then I'd agree that he should go with it. I don't think I have the patience to follow another circular thread.
Me (BH)
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Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Lol, my blood pressure can't take another conflict avoider delay!  tomorrow never comes with a conflict avoider!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He will tell us in 6 months that he couldn't expose because he is still trying to find contact info on grampa fetus in crapwit, Utah and northwood told him to wait until he could expose all at once. Whoa now! Y'all leave me and Grandpaw Festus out of it! I'm going to go edit my response, add an asterisk or two and hide the evidence!
Me (BH)
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Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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I'm not avoiding any conflict. I only have to picture one thing in my mind, quite unpleasant, and it's more than enough to kill any hesitation. Not avoiding conflict, just going by the book with the "all at once" approach. I don't want this S* going on any longer than it needs to. Time is of the essence. Still, it does take time.
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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2l, you are doing great! Run with what you have. You have enough now to inflict some serious damage. And be sure and send out a family email TODAY,describing her affair and asking them allot talk to her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You guys/girls are brutal. But I like it.
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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2l, you are doing great! Run with what you have. You have enough now to inflict some serious damage. And be sure and send out a family email TODAY,describing her affair and asking them allot talk to her. K. Going to get the peronal exp. letter drawn up now. Will post here shortly.
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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2l, you are doing great! Run with what you have. You have enough now to inflict some serious damage. And be sure and send out a family email TODAY,describing her affair and asking them allot talk to her. K. Going to get the peronal exp. letter drawn up now. Will post here shortly. Doing good! Just stay the course, my friend..
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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quick ?,
There's a few coworkers of hers (cubicle neighbors) she's been talking to about the demise of our relationship. Some of their "assistance" was re-assuring WW that our daughter would be fine in case of D, because she is so young. This makes me furious. These people have met me, and they are nice, good people, just think they are giving advice based on biased info. Don't know the extent of what exactly she has told them, but I'm sure it was biased in her favor. I doubt she told them there was OM involved. ? is, do I tailor the personal letter to include something along the lines of "I know you have heard WW's side of the story, but here is what is really going on..."
Basically, do I need to shed an accurate light on things or just let the standard letter do it's thing?
Last edited by 2little_2late; 09/12/12 03:59 PM.
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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That might be a good idea. See,now you are really thinking!!! And ask the coworkers to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. You might get a snotty response from them so just be prepared, ok?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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quick ?,
There's a few coworkers of hers (cubicle neighbors) she's been talking to about the demise of our relationship. Some of their "assistance" was re-assuring WW that our daughter would be fine in case of D, because she is so young. This makes me furious. These people have met me, and they are nice, good people, just think they are giving advice based on biased info. Don't know the extent of what exactly she has told them, but I'm sure it was biased in her favor. I doubt she told them there was OM involved. ? is, do I tailor the personal letter to include something along the lines of "I know you have heard WW's side of the story, but here is what is really going on..."
Basically, do I need to shed an accurate light on things or just let the standard letter do it's thing? Definitely target any co-workers that you can identify. Just send them the friends/family letter that ML posted on page 8 of this thread... Dear friends and family, I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the life of xxxx. As some of you know, xxxxx has recently asked me for a separation, which has shattered my heart. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a old boyfriend named xxxxx xxxxx who resides in xxxxxx. He is also married and has young children . The purpose of the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference. She refuses to end the affair. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on my babe, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, but the affair must end. As as a friend of ___, I am asking that you use your influence with xxxx to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage. I would so appreciate your support and prayers. Warmest regards,
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Ok, so here's exp. letter to WW's contacts:
Dear friends and family,
I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of WW and I. As some of you may know, WW has recently asked me for a divorce, which has shattered my heart. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a coworker named POSOM who resides in xx. The purpose of the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference. I would be happy to provide evidence to anyone who asks.
She refuses to end the affair. We have been together for 12 years and have a beautiful 4 year old daughter who could be deeply affected by this tragedy. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on WW, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, I want to keep our family together, but the affair must end.
As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence with WW to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.
I would so appreciate your support and prayers.
Warmest regards,
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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I've only been able to get contact info on POSOM for one person, his Mom, which is the best one to have, but is one going to be enough? I'm assuming he will hear from the HR and/or his supervisor, but can't say for sure.
Searching for contact info just on OM just keeps going in circles. His assumed sisters ph number is the same as the mother. There are 12 addresses, but not sure how to figure out current one.
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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