Hey there mason. I wish you could find an IM. You need to completely clear your mind of him, what he is doing, etc...

If he won't answer the phone, then that might just be the way to talk to your children. You could call your mil and ask her to have them call you in the morning and/or every night before bed, so you don't have to call there. Would she do that for you? It depends on what their routine is, how busy they are. ????? You are probably going to have to call them until they are old enough to call you!!!! Tough situation. I hate it that you are in it!! I don't even want to think about it!!!! It is in my future too!!!!! I wish I had the magic answer for you!!

Stay strong mason!!!!! You are doing all of this to better your life and the lives of your children. You will make it through this!!!

Thanks, I did not want to get her involved but if my children are there she is involved. My family never wants to see or speak with him again and when I was on the radio show, Dr. Harley said this was fine.... That is one of the reasons why I asked for help. I think after being two years out, my skin has thickened. I still feel it but can move on with my day, where before, i would be on the couch and could not move. I realize that he does not love me, nor did he fight for his family. He chose her and was willing to fight for the Wayward life.

At this point, I feel sad, but I am so done with this.

I am so proud of you mason. You are doing what is right for you and the children. His idea of marriage and family is completely different than yours, so you could not have a marriage or be happy. You sound strong and committed to building a happy, safe and fulfilling life for yourself. Thank you for sharing your story. Yours is one that has helped me see that their wayward livestyles are not for me either. I don't want to put up with ONE MORE minute of it. I know I deserve better. It is just hard to do what I have to do. You deserve better than a H who has so little respect for you and for the sanctity of marriage. I am going to try to avoid the couch!!!!! If I lie down, I might never get back up!!

Believe me, I have lied down and took hours to get back up... I am lucky to still have my job (work from home) My work suffered, but I did the bare minimum to get by... Luckily those day are gone. Now, maybe I give myself 20 minute to lay down. The sadness lingers, but I can function.
Love does not feel like this...This is torture.

UPDATE:
Saw my attny filling out paperwork. My husband beat me to the punch and filed before me. Why does it hurt so bad. I knew this was going to happen and how can I care for someone that has hurt me so much. I will not break Plan B, I do not know why I am crying. I guess the truth is in my heart is I still love him.
I wish I had heart of stone.

Mason,

((((((hugs)))))

You will make it through this with your self-respect and integrity intact. And you have kids that know you are doing the right thing for them. And you have the support of your family.

What has he got???

Apart of me wants to talk to him, but why? talk him out of it? that is what I did last time and it got me nowhere.
I just wish it did not hurt so much. Another knife....this is still torture.
I think silence this time will be best. I have nothing left.

I am so sorry, Mason. I promise it won't always be like this.

Thank you, I just thought atleast he would give me that, let me file first...I know in the courts it does not matter who files, but I feel like I am the only one hurting.

My prayers go out for you Mason. I assure you that peace will come as time passes, and this is behind you.
In time you will rebuild, and be stronger than you ever were, but these transient times are shaky, and somehow nessesary, as your heart goes though this pain of rejection.
Chin up Mason, all things are for our sakes

Thank you, I can only hope that there is a reason for this and that I will get a second chance, I am grieving the person I married and wonder how he could not love me again. I feel better now. Heard back from my attnt and feel a bot better.
I tru;y appeciate the supportt of everyone and Plan B at this point is truly beneficial. As they say you do not negotiate with terrorits!

I'm sorry for your pain.
I hope you will sleep well tonight and have a good day tomorrow

Yes. Please take care of yourself.

Today is another hard day, I found out my husband is back with OW. They are giving their love another try. It makes me sick. He wins again, now he gets his divorce so they can be happy. It make me so sad he never fought for his family. We are discarded. My boys see their father 4 days a month. That is it!! Breach of Plan B, but I am glad I know. It still hurts so bad. I am sure one of her conditions is that you must file for divorce....All I wanted was for him to love me. I have been broken hearted for over two years. Enough is enough. I am filing on the grounds of adultery. I know in NJ the courts do not care, but I do. I want it on record of why we are divorcing.

This is why breaks in Plan B can be so painful.

You're on ADs correct? Have you worked with your doctor to adjust the dose?

What are you doing for yourself this weekend?

Yes, I am on AD's. I am having family over this weekend. I going to try with my divorce to keep OW away from my children. I need to do that.

Trust me Mason, he is not winning Sh*t

As divorce goes through, the stress on your WH and OW will increase and their relationship will suffer. Eventually they will start arguing and fighting. Financial pressures from child support and spousal support will mount, and the OW will resent that he can't spend as much on her as he'll have to spend you and the kids.

The affair will eventually die a natural death. A likely scenario is that the OW will find another guy, either before or after the D is final, as she won't be getting her needs met by your WH anymore.

Stay in Plan B, both for your own sanity's sake, and for the chance of there ever being any hope of recovery.

Find an IM to mediate your interactions with him concerning the children and finances.

I will, I think their is little chance of recovery...He is truly addicted to this woman and she divorced her husband for mine, so they need to make this work. But with all the lies and the mistrust between them I doubt it will.
I have been coming here for just about two years now and it amazes me how long I have been in this mess. Time to let the fear go and get out while I have an ounce of sanity left.

It reminds me of the difference in being a Freind, and being someone in need of a Freind.

His addiction fantasy will blow up eventually, and he will be looking somewhere else and to someone else to blame all his sorrows on, instead of the true culprit, himself. They always affair down, becoming victims of thier own lies and fantasies, and blaming everything on thier BS.

This is just one step in his slip down the slope. There is no excuse, rhyme or reason for betrayal, not when it comes to marriage, because that union was a chance to deal with our personal weakneses, not give into temptation to run away from them

Some are just not strong enough, or give themselves excuses, or even manufacture things they call "reasons", why it's OK to betray those that love and dedicate thier lives to them
As you have read in the thread, "The craziest thing to ever come out of a waywards piehole" , you can see they do not resemble much reason at all.

It's sad that many of us must go through this, but just be glad you are not one of them. They truly belong on another planet, and we need Gods strength to survive also because, they are sad and gutless people, which make no sense

We shall overcome Mason, that you can count on