Why then have I been reading all over the place stories of A that continue on sometimes for years, and are sexually active? What is it they are all doing wrong then?

Not saying I want her to have sex with POS again, but if she's in the mindset to do it, obviously, she's going to.

And again, for all I know, she really is just going shopping and getting a drink to feel better about what happened today.

Look, not saying I did everything right. Just made the wrong choice. It's F'd I guess.

What happened to not mentioning the A or the OM? Am I supposed to tell her no, you can't go shopping and get a drink, oh just because.

I've already demanded the A end, she obviosly didn't care. Threatening someone with something they already want doesn't make much sense, especially when this demand was dismissed a few days ago. You can only tell a child he's gonna get a spankin (example) so many times before they figure out you don't mean it.

I'm not trying to say you all are wrong, but I'm making on the fly decisions here based on what I've been told. I understand we can't have a recommended response all cued up for every single situation, so I did what I thought was right. Next time I'll do it ML's way.

I think tomorrow, I will disappear for a good part of the day. Something I've been wanting to go do for a while. She'll probably play the DD misses you, I thought you were going to do something with her card.

Sometimes I wish we could sit down for coffee and talk about these things.
Life throws us curve balls and how we swing is what determines if we win or lose.
Marriage and family trumps a job. That's the truth.
If it worries you to death then maybe you should take a lesson from AlAnon and surrender your fears to God.

The job is a non issue at this point. Nothing has come of the workplace exposure, nobody else seems compelled to persuade. Parents and sister are supposed to be over Sunday, maybe they will talk then. Going to suggest to them that happen.

Right now, WW is in furious mode over me exposing her at work. Made her go out to drink. Which I should've stopped from happening more than I did.

SO right now, worrying about the job seems a bit premature.
When I picked her up, she was just as normal as can be, soon as we got home she turned it on. Wasn't real terrible, but she was clearly pissed that I emailed her work about it.

You might want to make a call to the police dept - not 911 - let them know your wife has had a rough day and was looking to drink and you're worried about her driving...

If she gets pulled over, they give her a breath test - she's clean, perfect. If not - then you take care of the second problem in your marriage.

That is complete bullsh**. But if you want to be someone whose wife goes out every night and shags her OM and you sit there and twaddle your thumbs you just be my guest.


For all you know she and the OM are reading scripture together tonight. Key term being "for all you know." The fact that you don't know indicates your level of seriousness in all this.

How about acting like you give a damn? How about causing as much trouble as possible in her affair? How about not allowing her to take your car while she goes catting around like an alley cat in heat? Let her walk to her trysts.

BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE DO SOMETHING!

They are doing exactly what YOU are doing: NOT A DAMN THING.

But if that is what you aspire to be: in a marriage with an affair that continues for YEARS, just continue to do what you are doing: NOT A DAMN THING.

But if you follow Marriage Builders, you will either be in a recovered marriage or separated and preparing for divorce in under 6 months. MARRIAGE BUILDERS DOES NOT RECOMMEND STAYING IN SUCH A MARRIAGE "FOR YEARS." It recommends 3-4 weeks for women and up to 6 months for men.

Marriage Builders plan: a) cause holy hell in her affair in any way you can, b) demonstrate your willingness to meet her needs in the future if she ends her affair c) make plans to separate if she won't end her affair

Thought I wasn't supposed to act on emotions. Disrespectful Judgements?

So then, any time she wants to leave the house without me, I'm to take the keys to the car which is in her name if that makes any difference when/if the cops were called for me holding keys.

Exposure at work is so so because you half burrowed it, half butt it, etc, censor won't let us type half a@@ed it. I hope you got the point.

You now need to expose the affair over WW supervisors and HR head. You ned to expose the CEO, Board of Directors, Owner.

Who told you HR does not care, WW?

Remember you can't believe half of what comes out of WW's mouth.

Also OM can be WW supervisor, supeervisors friend, or HR's friend, or both.

Yes, that's why I said she "claims" they don't care. I think they might since she seems to be so angry about it and worried about not getting promoted.


He is none of those. He works on a different floor. I know who her supervisor are and on up. He's in a completely different department and 3 floors away. HR is in an entirely different building a few blocks away.

You took this to mean you DO NOTHING?

I must be out of mind to spend my time with this. I have already saved my marriage and I don't need the headache of trying to post to someone who aspires to be like other posters whose WS' are in "years long active affairs."

Think I will stop doing this and go have some ice cream and watch TV! so long!

No. I disagree. I say stay with the kid.
I couldn't stop my wife from leaving. One time I did. It resulted in love busters.
In the end it helped me a LOT in the custody battle.
The court specifically cited my wife leaving the home and kids as a reason for granting me full temporary custody.
Consider this ; I wouldn't leave my kid alone with a wayward. They will just be on the phone with their affair partner all day and neglect the kid.

Be an outstanding father. Your kids life in in turmoil Anyway. Try to make it better.

I see why melody is getting frustrated with you.

You are shown why you have to go to the next level and do a complete work exposure.

Your response should be I'm on that ASAP.

Why don't I see that from you?

The odds are she is with the POSOM.
They are probably having sex and think its the best thing in the world.
But please try to stay focused on what you are doing.
You are home with a young girl. Taking care of her. Hopefully reassuring her that you love her.
You can't control the actions of others. You can only control your own actions.

Some people react to affairs by drinking heavily, cursing at their spouse, or having an affair of their own. So far you have taken the correct steps and you just need to stay the course.

As for exposure, send the email to a vice president. You don't want to send it to the president or CEO. They get too much email. Find a vice president of communications or development and send to him. They get fewer emails and are usually more attentive to the ones they receive.
Any pressure on the affair is good.

Does OM sleep good? Pay people in India and china to give Him wake up calls at 3 am. They will do it for a week for $5.

Maybe, but one, I should be able to go do something by myself once in a while. Not that I ever do, but...two, I'm quite certain she is planning to go out with her OM tomorrow as she was pushing to get me and DD to go do something tomorrow, w/o WW. I have a feeling she wants to go to the Fair w/him as it is on now. Don't need a place we've gone to every year of our relationship becoming a trigger.

I don't know, maybe you veterans forget how scatterbrained this time can be. I only just found out my wife was F'n around on me 3 days ago now. I've spending all that time since working on exposure,reading, investigating, reading,caring for a child and doing all the other things I normally do. I've been reading so much and lots of people have different opinions, I made a mistake. So should I just say, well I'm a POS and she deserves better for it? No, I f'd up, I get it. I'm just trying to do the right things, and not do the wrong things in all this. Sometimes, I'm gonna call the wrong play. I'll try harder.

Besides, I know her, if I hid the keys and told her to take a cab, she'd be on the phone right away, just to defy.

I listened to the recording of my confrontation a few days ago, and noticed she said "Love" was is worse than sex. So, basically, she's saying she "Loves" him, a guy she's known for oh, about a month and half. F'n crazy.

I think you're doing a good job.
Remember to take Care of yourself ; eat and sleep well
And take care of your kid, show your child love because most ww are selfish pigs that place their happiness above everything else including their own children

I would document when she leaves the house to see OM or when she leaves for the bar ; keep the documentation hidden