Have you studied up on Plan B at all here?

Yes want to have my kids 1st. I'll implement the little stuff

Will you be able to get them from MIL? I am a little confused as to where they are at this time? With MIL in Illinois or did they go to PR?

You might want to add something to the inside of the door for your safety. A chain or something so uninvited can not just walk in on you or the kids when you are sleeping.

MIL in PR

So sorry for your stressful night, but it sounds like you handled it well.

So the kids are in PR with MIL? When are you going to get them? Are they in school?

Can you get them today?

So OM is showing up Sunday? Did you tell MIL where she really was? You have pictures correct?

So, you let her know you knew about her getaway to chicago, and sge realized you were going to disrupt it...so she out maneuvered you by extorting you wife your childrens's well-being.

So you let her know you were going to tow her car and she called the cops on you, and got you run off!

Have you learned your lesson yet?

Ooh ooh (waving hand) I know the answer!!

DSC, check out indiegirl's Sig line and click on her "art of war" link. It would be very helpful to you
~RQ

Here you go.
The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Getting the car towed serves 0 purpose. I don't have the keys. I told her that to get her outside to confront her. She has a court date on oct 31. Guess who's the star witness! Should I put her in jail or help her out? She called today and I ignored it as I will all her calls.

What's her court date for?

Domestic violence against me.

On 16 September I gave you the plan to drive off in her car. In all your posts you never once alluded to not having a copy of her key, or had the initiative to get a copy made. (Go ahead, tell me she has only the one copy, I dare you. In that highly unlikely case the easy fix would have been to LOSE her keys Thursday.) Us, you prefer to keep in the dark. To WW, you blab every tactic and move you are considering.

I'm done. Replace NG with WW as an adviser from here forward. You seem comfortable in that mode, anyway.

Sorry I you feel I ignored your advice NG but to lose the keys was a good idea. I haven't been thinking straight since this happened. Locks will be changed Monday. I will not talk to her again. If you have any other advice I will gladly listen.

Here's my plan B:
1. She has zero access to marital funds
2. Locks changed
3. Tuesday going to a lawyer to get my kids back
4. Monday taking her off the lease
5. Getting a restraining order because of her charge
6. I'm not letting her get any of her clothing or items from the house
7. Sent her PBL. Will use my dad as an IM
8. Will be filing for divorce this week. Getting money together to do so
Any input or critique will be welcomed thanks everyone.

Change cell phone number, house number, email and find a neutral IM. Way
wards don't like intermediarys, especially ones that are family members. Trust me, I know

Also, I would pack up her things and take them to a friend's house or something. Write your plan b letter that includes the I'm's info and where her crap is at. Post it here for us to see before you send it. Ok?

&&&&&&&,

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I write you this letter. I am saddened by what has become of us, our friendship, our marriage. This letter is written to you as a necessity. Allow me to explain.

I foolishly pursued my career without understanding my responsibility to meet your most important emotional needs. I was not there for you when you needed me the most, and we are now both suffering for my mistake.

I realize that I have not been a perfect husband to you. I see now that both my attitude and financial irresponsibility drove a wedge into our marriage. I apologize to you. You must know that I never intended to hurt you or push you away from me.�

The pain that your relationship with ^^^^^ and the relationships that you have had during our marriage has been unimaginable. Continued contact with you has the potential of destroying my love for you and I don't want that to happen.�

It is because of this that I must insist that we no longer contact each other, until you are no longer involved with ^^^^^ or anyone else. I ask that you respect my decision. In the event of an emergency, or any necessary financial matters, please contact your mom or sister, and she will contact me. Once you have ended your relationship with ^^^^^ or anyone else completely, please contact me, and I will be willing to discuss restoring our friendship and marriage.

I am committed to our marriage. I believe that we can build a marriage that is stronger and more beautiful than we have experienced. Beginning today, I walk forward in life, and I want you to walk with me. I love you with all of my heart.�I want us to be a team, and restore our marriage together. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past was, no matter how ugly, we can get past it. With God's help, our true healing can begin. Look inside yourself and find the strength we will need to do this.�

Your loving husband,
XXX

P.S.
For reconciliation to happen I would need the following from you before making a commitment to reconcile:

> A full confession�
> A sincere, remorseful apology�
> Why you think this happened (name the problem on both sides --you've got to name it to claim it)�
> A detailed recovery plan (what it is and how YOU plan to implement it)�
> Proof you're working a 12-step program for addiction
I used a sample from the thread

I succeded in throwing my X in jail for withhholding my property, while we were still married. The charge was theft by taking. I didn't come up with that, the court did when I went begging about how I could get my clothes. So be cautious, and put her personal belongings like clothing, toiletries, anything that could not reasonably be shared by you as marital property, with someone else from whom she can fetch it.

Or put it in a storage locker, one month paid, key provided.

Fwiw, my ex tried to have me arrested for burglary when I finally did get my stuff, but the police told him, "you can't steal your own stuff." Just FYI. Get her stuff out. Marital property can stay for later court decisions.

The letter is great. A fww changes you need to make is she gas to end contact with Cesar "and commit to a marital recovery plan" . Have her contact your I'M when she is ready, not you and include their info in the letter. Also as I said and cwmi said, pack up her stuff and put it somewhere and include its location in the letter. You don't want to get jammed up over her perfume and skinny pants!