No, but I have nothing to talk to him about. I do not have the kids, hate giving them up.

I am having dinner with an old college friend.

Mason,

Hang in there. Plan B the best you can. You're probably not going to be able to keep WH from introducing OW to the kids. It sucks, but it's true.

Let him go into the darkness.

TE

I am, I have definitly paid dearly for the breaks, but I am only human and sometimes anger gets the best of us. But it was all falling on deaf ears. A true waste of my time.

You are right about OW meeting my kids, but for my own sanity I have to try and fight it.

Next time you think about contacting him please come here to the board and ask/vent. We're here for you.

Is he fighting for custody? Or is he okay with the standard order of every other weekend?

I do not think he will fight for custody, standard in NJ is every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. He would never be able to do 50/50 as he travels about 90% of the time for work, which is how his affair started.

I need to get to the point of indifference. I did everything I could to save this marriage, that has to be enough at this point.

I would like to share this with you:
"Who is to blame? Whom have I the right to blame? Let me concentrate on keeping my own conduct from being at fault; more I cannot do".

This weekend was hard, I was sad alot. STill grieving the loss of the marriage. He had the boys at his house he is renting, no longer at his Mom's. I guess I was feeling lonely. I want to feel better so fast, two years is too long....

I'm sorry.
I would like to share this with you:

"Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close are the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy."

"when I know I am free within myself, I will be better able to give loving thought to others"

Thank you HDW...that helps. I had too much time to myself and that make your thoughts and what ifs too much to bear.

This has heppened for a reason, I want to know the reason.

an Update:
My attny did send a letter to WH attny reagrding the OW meeting my boys. It detailed the affair, best ineterest of the children, and how court appt socail worker may get involved if a meeting does take place. He is furious, but I do not care. I need to protect them. and yes a breach of plan b about knowing how angry he is, but I feel like I hit my target.

Another note it was my oldest son's b-day this past wknd. It was my wknd, had a baseball party for him with his friends, and a family party in the evening. WH never reached out once to try to see him, when in reality I am sure the OW was here. I was so sad for him and wonder if I should have offered. But need not want the chance mtg with OW. I can not trust him. He of course takes the stand that he was not allowed. WHAT? he is seven. I will not help him parent like I had in the past. But I somehow feel guilty, that it hurt my son not seeing his dad and perhaps I should have been the bigger person. I know he needs to live with his choices. What father does not see his son on his birthday, he could have taken him to lunch, dinner, even taken him for the night. Why do I feel responsible and guilty for not suggesting it?
Back to Plan B....hard with birthdays and events for the kids.

You said it Mason, your done not doing his share of respnsible thinking towards your children

It's just more evidence, that cheaters make bad parents, just like any thief

K hope you make a smooth transition back to Dark plan B

Thank you. and you are right cheaters are bad parents, the selfishness outweighs anything else that could be important in their lives. You just feel for you children so much. I must say my son did say this was his best birthday! That should be enough.

What are you doing to stop the crack in you plan B?

How did you find out about his anger? This needs to be stopped.

Also does your son know about his dad's affair? It's your WH's actions that has caused this not you "trying to be a bigger person". It's his doing.

I know a moment of weekness. He sent me a nasty text. I am now going to block him when I have the boys. No reason to keep this going. Let him and the OW live happily ever after. I am getting closer to indifference. That is my goal, to really and truly not care about him anymore. Long road....

I know it's difficult. Why not change your number completely? He can communicate through your IM.

Have you told your DS7 about his dad's affair?

No I have not told my 7 year old about it, when it started he was 4. Scary how much time has passed. I will, but just have not had the courage to do it with just being served. A lot to take in in the pass two months.

I need to work on my plan b....

You need to tell him

I know, he cried tonight wanting Daddy home he said if he asked him it is always no. This is a tough pill telling him, did not have words tonight, just said Daddy loves you he just does not want to be with Mommy. He is hurting and it kills me.

I have (still am) dealing with the issue of a crying child, missing the WS, wanting the WS spouse home. Biggest thing you can do is comfort them with their feelings, "i know you miss daddy", "i know you feel sad", and continue to reassure them they are safe, secure, and you are not leaving them. You cannot comfort them by saying "daddy loves you" & "daddy misses you", it creates conflict for the child because you cannot speak for the WS.

I know it is hard to see the pain they are in because of the WS. I have been there and still am.