Sorry for the typos. On my phone. It ain't easy to post on this thing LOL

One mire thing, leave out the requirements. No reason to give them to het until she tells your IM she wants to commit. They will give them to her.

DSC

When do you expect to go to PR for the children? You may want to be careful with the law concerning step child.

Does the lawyer see any problems? Will you have time before going into Plan B?

Do you expect your WW to come back to the house after this at all? I know she probably wants her belongings. Do you see her splitting and going off with POS? Get her personal items into storage somewhere and let her know with the letter.

Change all your contact info asap.

Do you believe she had a reserve drill or was that part of the plan to confuse you?

Good letter. I agree with the changes suggested by RQ. Your list of requirements can stay with your IM until WW brings up the subject. Not you.

nESRE

My iPhone crashed a couple days ago. You have been on my thoughts and prayers.
It is not wrong to love, meaning care for.
It is unhealthy to live someone that abuses you. I know; my ex wife came home
From screwing the OM and told me how much she enjoyed it. I was devastated.
I understand your pain.

I joined AlAnon and they taught me that my self worth is not what she determines it to be. Not is yours.
Sometimes people commit evil acts. Your wife is doing such evil.
A man that gets drunk and drives and kills 3 people may have family that loves him. But his actions show he is a danger and irresponsible and the judge will hold him responsible. Then he may not drink again. Tough love. Sometimes mothers have to lock their addict children out of the house, knowing they will resort to prostitution to buy drugs. It's real tough love.
And that is the love you need to have now sir. Tough love.

Did you post this domestic violence on your thread?
I was unaware of a domestic violence arrest.
If I knew that I would have encouraged you not to visit the hotel and confront her.
To answer your question you DO NOT LIE for her. You allow people to face the natural consequences of their actions.

I encourage you to speak to an attorney prior to removing any of your wife's personal belongings. You don't even have the right to keep her out of the marital home without a court order.

Why would you ask your wife to contact her mom or sister?
Her mother helped kidnapp your kids.
Her father called and threatened you?
I would cut her whole family out.

Did you contact the step sons biological father?

Step son biological father hasn't been in his son's life. Don't know if he's dead or alive. Changed IM to my father. Getting lease changed tomorrow dropping her from it.

I would not change the lease without talking to the atty first.
She has legal rights

When are you getting your children?
That needs done before they hide them.

Also call Children Services every day that the step son is not in school.

HDW, this is standard procedure when going into Plan B.

What is standard procedure?
You can't remove marital property.
He needs to speak to an attorney before he moves any of her belonging

Here is a summary of what is commonly issued in divorce. Referred to as a Mutual Restraining Order: it also has general information about divorce process. However i must stress to you that this is war. Divorce is war and your attorney is your best friend. You need to follow the law. The court will look to see who is te most rational adult for the welfare of the child.
In my case my wife lived with me through divorce! It drove me crazy! But I couldn't throw her out legally.

You need to strategize all decisions with your attorney prior to acting.
(copied from legal website below)
A Divorce is one of the legal methods by which you can terminate your marriage. A Divorce begins with one of the spouses filing a Complaint for Divorce. A Complaint is a legal document that sets forth your grounds for divorce (the legal reason that entitles you to a divorce) and the relief requested from the Court (what you want the Court to do for you).

A Motion for Temporary Orders is usually filed with the initial filings. This document asks the Court to determine, for the time being, and until the divorce is final, certain things such as Custody and Visitation of the children (now called the Allocation of Parental Rights and Responsibilities AND Parenting Time), Child Support and Spousal Support, who is allowed to live in the family residence, who should make payment of family debts, who is allowed to use which car, and other matters. There will usually be a Court appearance scheduled for hearing on this Motion about 3 to 4 weeks after filing, depending on the first available time with the Magistrate of record.

Along with a Complaint, the initial filings sometimes include an Affidavit for a Restraining Order when there are third parties to be restrained. This Affidavit is a sworn statement giving the reasons you are asking the Court to restrain (forbid) certain actions by your spouse or third party, actions such as harassing you, disposing of property, obtaining new debts, returning to the home, etc. Even without the Affidavit, there is always a Mutual Restraining Order signed by the Judge forbidding those certain bad actions by the parties transferring/removing/dissipating possessions, bad conduct, incurring additional credit, changing any insurances, and removing the minor child(ren) from the jurisdiction) in every case. The Restraining Order governs both parties. If such a Restraining Order is disobeyed, the violator can be jailed and/or fined by the Court. Also, banks, pension plans, or others who hold property of the marriage (third parties) can be stopped from transferring property by a Restraining Order.

If you are the person filing for the divorce first, you are called the Plaintiff, and the other spouse is called the Defendant. If your spouse filed first, he/she is the Plaintiff and you are the Defendant. The Defendant will be served with the divorce papers by certified mail or personally, whichever the Plaintiff chooses. If you are the Plaintiff, do not, under any circumstances, sign for certified mail addressed to your spouse.

The next step after the initial filing is the Temporary Hearing on the Motion for Temporary Orders. There may be two Motions filed, one by you and the other by your spouse, which are heard by a Magistrate at the same time. Remember that you have hired the Attorney to speak for you, so speak to the Magistrate in the hearing room only when asked a question. Again, it is imperative that you hold your anger in check at the hearing. Only the Attorneys and the parties may be present in the hearing room, but you may, if you wish, bring support persons with you but they must stay in the waiting room.

How to Plan B correctly

This is what I and others have followed. Any one else want to chime in about a BH going into Plan B? Should they not be following what the rest of us have?

Seeing an attorney on thursday. I also changed locks and will be packing up her stuff. Tomorrow I go before the judge to get an order of protection against her. It's a temporary order that last 30 days. It will also grant me custody of the children and rights to all marital property. Wish me luck guys plan b is kind of hard emotionally. It sucks cause I know she will be in danger and in pain but tough love will work out.

When is her drill over?
When are you getting your kids?
Did you all Children Svcs today?

For men, going into Plan B is different. Men have much longer stamina for staying in Plan A with a wayward wife; their health isn't at the same risk as that of a woman.

Dr. Harley often recommends that a man stay in Plan A for as long as he can stand it - to pursue his wayward wife, using both the carrot and the stick. However, if he can tell she is losing a lot of love units in his love bank, then a betrayed husband is encouraged to go into Plan B, to protect his love toward his wayward wife.

If a betrayed husband goes into Plan B too soon, it is often interpreted by the WS as lack of care.

I have heard Dr. H. discuss this on his radio show, but I don't have the info for those particular clips.

This man needs to enter plan B and protect his kids. His wife kidnapped them and sent them to Puerto Rico. He needs to exercise all legal options.

Child safety always trumps marital recovery and the POJA