I can't help but think that these are the kind of Christian men who get to the part about "Wives, submit to your husbands" and just stop reading.

**EDIT**

MS

When was the last time you sat in church next to your W.... and put your arm around her?

Do you even sit by her in church or do you sit with your female friends?

How about at socal functions? Where are you and where is your W?

How about a respectful conversation with your W? Has that happened in the recent past? Within the past year?

How about your free time activities? Do you invite your W to come along? Do you ever participate in her free time activities?

When was the last time you were intimant with your W?

Now when was the last time that intamcy lead to sex?

How about affection? A hug and a kiss? Remember those? You gotta give one to get one you know.........

What the F do a bunch of failing Christian men know about how a M should work from just the "Snipets" that are presented by you? Think your a little biased?

Don't expect you'll do much to answer these questions. Your too busy trying to prove your innocent of wrong doing concerning these Female Fiendships (not a typo) to take a look at other aspects of your R with your W that hurt her deeply.

Last question
As long as Wifey is at home (cookin/cleanin) you can see her anytime you want then why with the attitude you present (and we see) would she be special?


ANSWER
She isn't beacuse your needs are being filled by your Female Fiendships.

Its called emotional affair. Just as damaging to the Marital relationship as Physical affair.

nESRE

MS,

You keep coming back to post, which can be a really good thing. I do have a question, what are you wanting to accomplish?

I am reading the posts. It's fascinating. It's maddening.

I met with a pastor today, one that my wife has met with, and told him about our (my wife and myself) different perspectives on the other women friendships. We talked and he seemed to understand. I insist upon my innocents. We see it differently.

when I came home I told her I'd met with the pastor. She wanted to know what was said. I told her and she got mad again. She called the pastor and even said she wanted a divorce. This is news to me.

In truth, I don't recreate with her.

I don't sit by her at church funcions.

I don't dance with her at dances.

I do not show physical afffection to her...I'm not affectionate.

Our conversations are horrible.

She does wants she wants without me.

Social functions, I go my way she goes hers. I like to talk to people and I told her I get to see her at home. Ya, I know, you'll all think this is scandalous, but I like talking to people. She seemed okay with this.

Today she told me that I hurt her worse than her mothers death.

Dont know what to do with that.

I'm getting a bit suspicious becasue how did you know that we fight about all those things.

I agree this would be a good idea for her. The fact that you value your "friendships" with these women more than her should be enough for her to separate and get a divorce. When a husband is this thoughtless and abusive, that is the best solution.

You're killing me, ML.

x 2

No, you are killing your wife. Your thoughtless and abusive behavior is harmful to her. And she needs to separate.

Since you two do nothing together in public........why DO you want to stay married to her?

What emotional needs of yours does she fullfill?

Wouldn't life be so much more wonderful if you were

sitting next to her in church
danced
kissed
held hands in public
talked about all sorts of cool things

if she were your favorite and most constant recreational companion?

I don't know how it came to this. I don't think I'm doing anything so different from years past. My wife seems unreachable.

She says she snapped.She thinks I'll mistreat her untill the day she dies. I don't think I mistreat her, she gives as good as she gets. She's been pretty hard on me, too.

I honestly don't know how we got here. I've been trying.

You make her miserable with your mistreatment. So she has every reason to get out of this marriage. No one wants to stay with someone who makes them miserable.

There is nothing here for her except misery, so she gains by getting away from you.

Wow, what woman wouldn't jump at the chance to stay in that marriage?

What a catch!

What a life! It sounds miserable. No wonder your wife wants a divorce. What is it that are you getting out of the marriage? Why do you care about being married or not?

AM

I didn't think I was so bad. My wife always seemed happy.

I thought the marriage was ok. I knew she wanted more but I guess I like my independence. I know she made many adjustments to accommodate me. (because she tells me so)


Seriously, It seems like she's making something out of nothing. That is from my view point. I will consider what you've all offered.

Looks bleak.

I love her. That's what I get out of the marriage.

She is miserable. No woman would want to stay in such a miserable marriage. Nor should they. You sure couldn't get a woman to date you with that pathetic resume. yuck...


I support her plan to divorce you 100%.

Ah. You value your independent behavior, your dishonesty, your lack of meeting your wife's emotional needs. You are delivering what Dr. Harley calls lovebusters. Have you read the basic concepts here about the love bank, emotional needs and lovebusters? You have drained your wife's lovebank and she has had enough of your neglect and abuse to want out of the marriage. There is alot of reading for you here on the site and in Dr. Harley's books.

AM

You don't demonstrate love and care. You are abusive and thoughtless. No woman would ever be attracted to that.

YUCK!