You accepted my apology and now you have to trust me, you can't monitor what I do any longer. Because you have not chosen to trust me, I can't trust you and you have to earn my trust back."
WhatisNext. Seeing the humor in the stupid illogical things my WH said is about the only thing that kept me sane.
At this point I knew I was in 'Crazy Town' and couldn't find the exit. It was alarming how angry he was and for the first time ever, I actually felt afraid of him.
I remember in a heated talk when I asked my WH "Who are you?" His blue eyes turned jet black...jet black. Then suddenly his eyes turned back to blue and he said in the nicest voice "It's me." I was struck with sheer terror. I saw pure evil in those black eyes and I started to seriously wonder if I had married a psycho killer. It is true that waywards have been taken over by an alien...an evil alien.
His explanation for that was that I told him to find a "different job" not a "different employer" and he can't be held accountable for me giving him "bad information."
After I found my WH secret e-mail account with continued contact with OW, my WH claimed that he did not lie to me because I had asked him if he had "called" OW...I didn't say anything about e-mailing. Therefore WH did not lie to me.
I had to laugh or I would have ended up injuring him.
He's also taken it upon himself to go to individual counseling and not at my request, he did this himself. I suspect his intent with this is outlandish enough to say he's looking for someone to validate his position in this, he is messed up enough to try anything at this point. At any rate, as predicted on the MB boards, the therapist gave him some psychobabble about his relationship with his dad, his childhood, etc. A bunch of B.S. that solves nothing.
He is also buying time to continue to do nothing.
WhatisNext17. My FWH was still deep in the affair when he was acting like your WH is acting now.
My FWH did not change until he saw and believed that I was serious about not living like this anymore. I gave him a paper with my conditions to remain in the marriage. My conditions were spelled out clearly so that he could not twist things around anymore. I told him if he could live by these conditions then he needed to pack his bags and leave. He started to change when he realized that I was serious.
If you decide to go into Plan B, do it right. Take the time to do every step the recommended way. That is your best chance.
((hugs))
