Yes, caseworker says she will do what she can but since my wife is telling her I abused her she's waiting for the conviction on the domestic battery.

Any threads for someone who plan B While divorced?

I found an excellent radio clip from Dr. Harley, of why it's a good idea to go into Plan B after divorce. Tell me what you think.
Radio clip on Plan B after Divorce at 5:25 mark

I am divorced and only have @limited contact" with my wayward ex wife. She is living with her affair partner. (a convicted felon child abuser)

DSC

Not sure there is much in mine that would help but have at it. My Xww/alcoholic would not leave even after the MTA was signed and final.

I have not seen or spoke to her since early Nov 2011 when I had to tranfer a car to her as part of the MTA. Then it was about 20 minutes or so.

I had to shower 3X's when I got home to make sure nothing got on me from her in that short time together.

Yuck!

Our MTA was signed May 2011. You may want to read from that point foward.

Nesre's Notes

I still love my WW and she will come back I know it. What I don't know is if I will take her back after all this. Time will tell I guess. SIL sent me some messages after I talked with my children it seems my thoughts were spot on. WW told SIL I treated my biological son better than my stepson! LOL also I abused her physically even though she's the one with the arrest lol. It's amazing how her family believe this! Without any proof. Since she was abused by my stepson's dad and her family didn't do anything about it. They ocercompesating when she makes these ridiculous claims. I text SIL, "time will reveal the truth and you will see how your sister is behaving to conceal an affair and I love you all even though your wronging me and enabling my wife to destroy our families, god bless you". The text stop then, at this point I'm numb to the whole situation and looking forward to this divorce and hearing how she falls on her face after OM beats the manure out of her. Thanks again for helping me out guys hopefully when this is over I can pay it forward!

Have you been able to talk to your kids?

Yes and it seems my dear in laws are telling them lies and they want to come home. It's sad but on 15OCT I will have my day in court and it's not looking good for my WW. Her world will destroyed by her own doing and I will have our children
I feel sorry for her but it's her own fault.

Can you please provide more info?
Do you have an attorney? If so what did he say about getting the kids?
You have custody of the kids now. He has not returned them. What are you doing to get the child?

Lawyer says she is violation of the court order of protection. However since my son is out of country it's hard to enforce. Also I could go get my biological son but I can't take my stepson. I don't want to go to Puerto Rico and do that because it would hurt my stepson that daddy can't get him and I'm not sure he will understand. Lawyer said at the hearing on 15OCT12 she will have to bring my biological son and at that time she might be arrested for violating the order. Also is she doesnt show then the order will be extended to 2 years! They will issue a warrant for her arrest and pay for my son to be returned to me! That day my lawyer will serve her the divorce papers. She said we will go to mediation to dot this out if we are both willing. So I have to wait till then unless something else happens. I really believe she out of her fog and is a wreck. Wouldnt surprise me she wants to reconcile after all this. However, I'm not sure I'm so willing. Kids are with MIL in PR for sure if they fail to produce them they will be arrest for concealment of a minor.

Read this post by new creation and it brought tears to my eyes. My WW is in the same situation, it hurts cause I know that she will fall for that trap that OMs use to get their supposed "soul mates" OM has 7 kids 4 for sure 3 in contention and my WW is madly in love with him. I love her despite her A and I am scared she might get pregnant by him and/or Marry him. With the background he has and what the ex wife told me hes going to run her through the wringer. I hope and pray that he's content with the PA they just had and move on. My WW has serious depression issues and stopped taking her meds in April 2012. I really think this was a cause of her wayward behavior. If this happens I'm afraid she might really commit suicide. Hopefully she realizes the seriousness of the situation and breaks of her A and agrees to a MB program some where down the line before this happens. NG I'm awaiting your angry post about being a sucker just so you know I plan on doing my plan b without breaches and so far so good I kept it up.

DSC, I read a lot of you and other BH's put an awful lot of blame on the OM and/or illness. Don't do that!! That rests solely on her shoulders and you should mot be making excused for her.

Its hers to own, make her.

She does not want to reconcile.
My wife had an Affair with a guy that was a convicted child abuser. She also has mental illness or personality disorders.
But that's a fact of life. Not an excuse.

Understood, I will still have hope that she will eventually see the error in her ways and want to reconcile. I'll just stay the course and not think about it. Heading to the gym to work out thanks for your support.

How are you holding up?

I'm good, lost 43 lbs since this happened and out on 5 lbs of muscle! Going to college and awaiting this court date. I also taking a parenting class. Trying to keep busy so I won't think of my WW. Gotta keep the plan B going

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. Self care is so very important.

Do you have an IM?

Was the last time you talked to her at the hotel confrontation?

NG I'm awaiting your angry post about being a sucker

Hunh, it musta got lost in the mail.

DSC, I've written basically the same response to about the last four of your notes, and scrapped each one as an unneeded distraction from the vital tasks in which you are engaged.

Net/net, the key point I would have made (and now will make) is to suggest you to take off the "love goggles" that distort your perception of the true essence of WW. In her present manifestation, she is not worthy to be spoken of as the object of your "love". The mis-estimation of her "worth" as a mate and lover will present a huge barrier to your taking the optimum and necessary actions in defense of you family and your best (personal) interests.

I remain firmly in your corner, dude.

Good Decision. I also took a parenting class and it helped me a lot

Last time I actually talked to her was at the confrontation. I use my dad as a IM and she has yet to contact him. NG the goggles are off, she isn't aware of my tire feelings. I am sure she firmly believes that she is in too deep and can't come back. I will address my relationship woes once I have my kids back. I filed for divorce, I am not sure of the situation of the A nor do I care. My focus is my kids now after I get them back. I will continue my Plan B I emailed her the letter and texted her as well. I still have hope but at this point it's about my kids not the recovering the relationship. 75% sure she will wake up from her fog when she is served the divorce papers and if she agrees to recover I believe I will still go through with the divorce.