Start parenting classes on the 16 and will start an anger managment class too any good books out there on parenting anyone wants to share? Packed up all the the things that have pictures of my family and cards I gave her and she received from my family. Also found a bank statement from her account that has suspicious purchases on it. Putting them all in a storage box so I can have for later. Tomorrow I will pack her stuff up and set it downstairs do she isnt roaming in the marital house that I rightfully deserve! Not gonna lie NG I cried looking at the photos but it's only weakness if the WW sees me right?! HDW did you settle your divorce in mediation? I'm thinking of skipping that any thoughts based on your experience? Didn't talk to my kids today but SIL sent text apologizing for missing my call. Might be a trick gonna stay frosty and play my cards close to my chest. I really think I have WW on the ropes. Also in plan b is it ok to dig into OM past? Or should I leave that be?
There is not a plan B like the others use here that applies to you.
You are entering legal war.
In war you need to know about your opponent. Get as much info as possible.
I went to mediation, court ordered. But I didn't agree to anything. Mediation is too emotional, too much risk of making an emotional decision that can affect you for life.
The reason why lawyers are good is because they are emotionally detached from their clients cases. They can strategize objectively.
In my divorce case, the beginning was similar to yours. Wife had affair with dangerous felon. He went to prison for tryin to kill his daughter. (cops saved her life).
When I became aware of his criminal record I dropped plans for marital recovery and focused on my kids. My wife responded to divorce papers as saying she was willing to reconcile. I wanted to believe her but her actions did not meet her words.
As in your case, her father became an enabler. Bought her an affair phone. Gave her money. She portrayed herself as a victim.
But at the same time I had exposed the affair and sent his criminal background report to all family members (which really ruined her plans of replacing me with him. Her family hates this guy and would never allow their kids aroun him. That made her very angry. Angry people make irrational decisions).
I took a parenting class and became more involved with my kids. I started cooking all the meals , cleaning the house, planning events. And she lived here the entire time. I did a Plan A during the divorce process.
I filed for a "Guardian ad Litem" (GAL) for the kids. The Court ordered a custody evaluation (which cost me nothing because I was low income).
My wife continued to unravel as I did a plan A.
She would flip me off, tell me to burn in hell, wake me up at 2 in the morning and te me she is worried for my mental health. That I was imagining conversations and that I show signs of psychosis.
Finally she couldn't handle being in the house under a Plan A and left. Sometimes for hours ; sometimes for days; then eventually gone for weeks.
The Court Investigator took this matter of leaving the home very serious. It is a type of abandonment. My wife told the investigator I was psychotic and dangerous and she needed full custody. One day after interviewing my wife the investigator recommended that I am awarded temporary full custody. The court granted it.
At home my wife told me that she was done being a mom. She needed the money (child support) to live on. OM was summoned to court at first hearing. This infuriated my wife. I told her his daughter will also be summoned to testify about her fathers parenting skills.
In the end she agreed (through the lawyers) to supervised visitation. The court said she can have partial custody when she has a residence and a letter of fitness from a doctor. And court ordered the kids are to have NO contact with OM.
So with the blessing of God I have custody of my kids today. And they are protected from a lifestyle of drug addict felon boyfriends. They are raised in a Christian home instead of one full of dope and adultery.
And I documented everything along the way. The court investigator knew when my wife was coming and going. I work in the construction industry and payment disputes are common. I learned in a project management class "he with the biggest pile of paperwork wins". People rely on written documentation much more than verbal recollections. Plus my wife was seriously sleep deprived and imagining all sorts of things. One time she thought she was being drugged secretly by her mom and by me. Waywards sound crazy anyway so if you push hard enough they will often run off to te OM. Which is basically what your wife has done.
You already have court records on your side. I wouldn't try for mediation.
My lawyer made it clear to me: he didnt care if I lost everything. But he did not want the kids near OM. He was willing to take it to trial.
Make it clear to your wife you will go to trial if she does not meet your terms. And OM and his daughter and ex wife WILL be summoned to testify. Then she will tell OM and he will put pressure on her to settle. Use them against each other!
