It was a one off class. I could be wrong but I don't think he was hitting on me consciously, he just didn't have good boundaries. The unnecessary interaction, speaking with me alone - he marked me out for attention. That's what bugged me. Everything he said was perfectly polite and within reason, it was more the context that bothered me.

Yep. This is what I meant by my post. He was probably not hitting on you consciously. Had poor boundaries and also I think people are drawn to getting their needs met, without really knowing what EN's are or the fact that the people around them are actually meeting EN's. In this case perhaps you are attractive and meeting his PA need and therefore he is drawn to be around you more than the other students. Not consciously but subconsciously.

Or, he is just a ahole who consciously sought you out.

But for the former, I don't necessarily think this is a bad guy, just a product of society.

I know there have been responses to call his wife or report it or whatever. I think most people would be floored by this response, saying um, I was only chit chatting in the hall with her (and think you are crazy), or would feel like that was misunderstood and not their intention, because indeed it might not have been their conscious intention.

In my former pre MB life I could have had people calling H left and right, but then again, perhaps I would have been educated earlier if that were the case.

I wonder if he has done this to other students.

If he has poor boundaries one day, logic would dictate he has poor boundaries every day.

Exactly. I'd say it's only a matter of time before he gets himself fired with such behavior.

No, I doubt it. It isn't an academic course, its just trainers and trainees who only meet for one session for a very basic refresher.

He won't meet any student more than for that one off session, so his poor boundaries are unlikely to escalate in that period of time. He's unlikely to get fired for chatting to one of the people about their line of work in the hallway. I think he is genuinely clueless that taking an interest in a womans life could lead to an EA.

I got the impression he was one of those teachers who need to get something back: feedback, rapport or whatever. And he never does because the nature of the course means he's constantly talking to fresh batches of strangers.

Unfortunately when he seizes the opportunity to converse with someone on the course he does so with poor boundaries.

Yeah sounds like he feels unappreciated by his peers or maybe his wife, and is looking for it in all the wrong places.

Its not your problem anymore, and even if you had to see him, it still would not be your problem, and you would be a fool to try to help Indie lol

Hope he gets help and deals with this inappropriate behavior, before it become seriuos, and he loses his carreer, or his mind.

But what do you say to someone like that? "Listen I think this is unappropiate and you should see somebody, you make me nervous"

Or wait and hope he sees himself and gets it?

Or when he reaches out to the wrong people, in the wrong way, or they call him on this behavior..and report him?

Will that get treated right and his head get cleared by the right kind of help?


Yeah its over now so glad you don't have to go back at least

So my solicitor called with - gasp - GOOD NEWS.

I called her at lunch time to say I didn't know how to proceed to court without funds and she said we should sit down and discuss options. Then we realised we both have such nutso schedules, that was going to be tricky. But we made a date.

Just a few hours later (so she called me as soon as she heard) she left a message on my phone.

Softlad's solicitor is putting together all the financial info we requested. They've even offered to pay a good deal of my divorce costs, including the extra amounts incurred by chasing him.

Guess he didn't like those letters threatening court action.

Or his mum getting told about his behaviour.

Yeah thats a surprise Ill bet


Either way it will be over soon Indie

Yeah his Mum ha more character than he has? Yeah I would say you were lucky in the long run. He sure sounds like a softlad..in the head

Great!! Excited about the chance for total freedom for you, and him offering to pay the fees is great!!

Thank you peeps and I was soooooooo tempted to break Plan B and ignore the Art of War

I knew the best general has the most patience and simply waits the other out.

But I felt like I was getting nowhere and I started getting noticeably desperate and weak. Thank god it never showed.

I met a very successful businessman the other day who has simply sailed through the recession.

He told me had never made any great strides. He said everything had been achieved in little steps. He said: "You will feel like you are getting nowhere. But you are."

Yep, a wise fellow

Aaah, I love this advice.

I remember panicking in Plan B that I was not healing, not moving forward. But it was working all along. I was taking small steps, and I continue to. But I look back and see the huge strides forward.

Indie, I am so glad to hear that things may be settled for you.

Yeah it reminds me of that prayer..

"God give me patience, and I want it right now!"

Also from Fred who was a regular poster, and went through a lot, he was once told..."When you are walking through Hell, don't stop and look around, keep walking"

Sounds like you have

I know, I feel better - so much more motivated since I heard this advice. It made the man in question a millionaire. So surely it can do a little something for me.

There is a country song by Rodney Atkins with these lyrics

Well you know those times when you feel like
There's a sign there on your back
That says I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth



If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

I've been deep down in that darkness
I've been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin' fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap
That they were layin'

But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been draggin' for so long
You're on your knees might as well be prayin'
Guess what I'm sayin'


If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

Great song Reading,I bet that was a possible source of his words, or at least the advice he was given.

Yup our countenance means a lot does it not?

As per Caracal's orders - an update!

I'm sat at the gate at Heathrow waiting for a flight to India. Stayed at my pals in London last night. The four of us haven't stopped laughing since noon yesterday.

I've had the most stressful work week ever. But exciting times beckon.

I am so excited I might pop. Airports are the most exciting places I think.

Oooh, India!!! My feet just started itching again! It is next on my "have passport, will travel" list. That, along with Vietnam and Myanmar... yep, the list keeps getting longer.

Enjoy the anticipation Indie. Enjoy the trip, the friends, the differences of a world different to our own but still so much the same somehow.

And forget work. It will still be there when you get back. Somehow, that never changes.

Bon voyage, I am excited for you! Please post pics when you get a chance.

I will try!