Pulling for you!

Don't do anything that rescues her from her wayward consequences...don't lie for her, don't send her money. She needs to face the consequences of her actions and SHE needs to pony up! Don't enable her by trying to make things easier for her.

Good luck proceeding...

Well they granted a week continuance because she got served divorce papers. She is in the same city as me and she look worse for wear. My son looked bad and is terribly sick has strep. So on the 24th OCT we go before the judge again. They let her keep him till then. I'm so mad the legal system sucks! The fog broke when she got served divorce papers. She started to cry my attorney said. Also, as we were leaving I parked far from her and DS saw me. He must've of said there's daddy and begged to come see me and she came. Violating the order! I stayed in the car while my friend brought DS to me. Spent 15 min with him while she stood there crying. I don't know why she was crying could it have been remorse? I dunno. POSOM where's no where to be seen. I'm not sure if he's here or not. She told my friends she was staying with my SSGT I have yet to confirm this. I'm praying this is the truth. I believe that he's out of the picture and she realized he's a POS. no proof tho ill keep you guys updated. Oh I was stoic no emotion was shown. Thanks for the advice guys? God bless

I am sorry about the continuance. I am greatful that you were able to see your son...even for a little while.........it makes no sense why the courts make the decisions they do sometimes. Things have a way of working themselves out....keep greasing the wheel.

Yeah, that continuance does suck, but the bright side is it gave you a glimpse into what WW has dumped on herself. I actually feel very sorry for her. This addiction has cost her so much more than she ever bargained for.

DSC, I would do everything in my power to confirm where she is staying, assuming you still want to try and make a go of this.

One question keeps popping into my mind though: Her "sister" has been hounding you to send money so she can get back to court from wherever the hell she was.

Where did this money magically appear from?

I'm thinking she wanted me to send some money so she could head back to Puerto Rico and go back and forth. Now she doesn't have the money to go back and has to stay till the court is over. I'm going to drive around tonite to see if I see the car I bought parked where I think she is.

Where were you supposed to send the money?

To her moms house. Or she borrowed the money from her mom and planned on me footing the bill.

So sorry you have to wait again and so sorry your son is ill. How are you? Sleeping? Eating?

What did your lawyer think?

It sounds like she got a slap of reality.

Not eating much sleep very little. Been hitting the gym WW noticed it so that's a plus I guess. She cried when my lawyer sered her papers and when I was with DS. Lawyer said I should have custody at this hearing. I'm pretty sure she is going to show up at the marital house and try to talk to me or something before the court date. I won't entertain it but will VAR it.

If she shows up at the marital residence call the police and have her arrested for breaking the restraining order

Update: I need some advice. Trying to ignore my instincts at he moment. Went to work and my senior enlisted leader (SEL) told me that his wife talked to WW and that WW has been staying at his house while me and SEL were away for a field op. WW currently there now and told SEL wife that she had no place to go and was going to a shelter if she couldn't stay there. WW and SEL wife are friends and while the affair was a EA I told my WW to talk to her for some advice. Of course WW didn't now she burned so many bridges she uses the SEL wife to have a place to stay.

I'm upset that the SEL wife told SEL not to let me know where WW/DS are. I'm relieved that POSOM isn't here and that my son and WW are in a safe place. My SEL is an ally in this and knows the whole story. However, I do not know where his wife stands friend or foe. My question is how can I switch this in my favor? I'm sure that WW is rockbottom now.

According to the philosophies here the WW reaches out for recovery right? Not the other way around? I hope this works out for me for my DS/SS sakes. Also for WW even though she is low on the priority list as of now. This is hardest thing I ever done knowing that my "wife" and family are hurting and I can't do anything to help or stop it.

You are doing great, be strong!
If memory serves the WS needs to hit rock bottom, even though it may seem like she is there, that may not be the case. Do not assume that is where she is.
The advice you got about do nothing to rescue her is spot on, this means NOTHING. Yes she needs to be the one to ask for recovery.
Sounds like your sons need medical attention, I would think your attorney could leverage that, as well as them not being in school. Your attorney should have made a huge issue of that during the hearing yesterday, and he needs to make it a huge issue next monday.

DSC, straighten up, dude!

TEARS? Awwww, did little Skanky really cry? Real, salty tears? Makes me want to break down all weepy as well!

Dude, without the tears, does she get the continuance? Without them does she get free lodging with sympathetic acquaintances? Does she get you start thinking all nostalgic about "what was, and what may be again"?

If there were any humanity within that Skanky, she'd not have waited to the last day to return your DS to your presence, She'd not have kept DS from you. She'd not be continuing to isolate them from school and their normal life. Let's be honest here: If it proves out that she truly is ill (which I very much doubt), I'm actually going to feel sorry for the cancer which has a bad case of "Skanky".

Stop daydreaming. Keep firing.

This is a self created problem for your ww.
She is choosing to have an affair and breaking up your family.
Be advised she will probably tell all types of lies to your friend to persuade them that you are a dangerous man.

I would ask SEL if he knows what his wifes feelings were directly. His gut feeling.





No idea how you can use this in your favor at thispoint. Did SEL let his wife know he told you or did he just do it on his own?




I wouldn't bet any money on this. WW's are not predictable. There may be some other "Nice Good Guy" out there that may take her in with her sob story....Just to help her out you know....Easy pickins for a low life.

DCS are you officially in Plan B or is the RO the only reason for no contact? Either way do you have an IM or contact set up so you can get messages concerning the children or emergencies?

Does she have any type of road map provided by you as to what is required for you to consider R with her? I know you filed and she was served. Does she even know you would be open to R provided certain reqirements are met?

What plan do you consider yourself in at this point? B/C/or FU?

nESRE

I am in plan b the RO was used to get my DS back. I sent a plan b letter from the site my IM is my father. She used it today cause DS was sick. She knows what she can do to start recovery and if she is willing she is supposed to risk legal consequences and contact me directly or use my dad as an IM. Going to run extra hard tomorrow got a lot of stress to burn off. Thanks for your support, everyone god bless!

Get into some races too.
A lot of areas also have running clubs. I

Well things are ok got court next week. WW expressed remorse for her actions through my IM/dad. Seems to want recovery but I am leary. Haven't actually talked to WW will go through legal stuff first. Running more and more and put on 2 lbs of muscle. Spent sometime with DS he misses his daddy. SS is still in Puerto Rico talked to him he is in school for English speaking kids. It's a garbage school that meets for 3 hours a day. I'm upset about that. Hopefully four goes m way.

That's good.
Keep exercising. And exercise your mind too

Well she was told to leave by SEL wife. My DS gave SEL wife his illness and SEL wife got the whole story. Her reaction was why don't POSOM pay for her? She called me and we talked, another breach! I called the police and they wouldn't give me my DS even tho WW has no place to stay. Long story short I ended up getting a hotel for my WW and DS. I'm very mad about this but I have 0 choice she was taking my DS to a shelter. Kept hotel receipts for proof of court. WW claims she not talking to POSOM which I believe is a lie but don't care. Keep telling myself I'm doing this for my son and after court date and I get custody she is on her own. Family, friends are supporting me. I can't wait till court so I have 0 reason to help her, pleas pray for me...