Me too

You guys have done a super job!!

It looks like we have found a way to completely avoid having any nights apart.

Sometimes, it just requires somebody to emphatically say "NO" to you to make you really start reconsidering how you are doing things. Dr. H did that with us, and we know it would be foolish not to listen. Now I am going to have to move in a week, too. We are going to be very busy, but we are also very happy with the resolution.

Congratulations. That is great news. POJA is a great thing.

AM

Great job, you guys!

I'm so glad you're going to listen to Dr. H. When I first saw that you were going to have a few days apart, I was concerned. Now you're going to take that extraordinary precaution, fantastic Mr. and Mrs.Eureka.

Here's the show of Mr. and Mrs.eureka.

Radio clip on Mr. and Mrs. Eureka's call
Segment #2
Segment #3

Update: We are in the East Coast storm zone, and both my wife and I had two days off work. While it gave us more time for packing, it means that the processing of paperwork to put me on leave status from work was delayed. I am at work today, running around like a crazy person trying to get everything done. It is hard to end a 30-year career in a couple of days when you thought you would have a month. Today is my wife's last day of work. As her workplace was the venue of her affair, we are both very happy to see this day.

While there is no question in my mind that we are doing the right thing, there are still times of melancholy in this process. Last night when I was packing up my tool bench, I started getting so depressed that I had to stop and go for a walk with my wife to distract myself. We will be moving in a few days. I am certain that when I post after the move, I will be much happier.

Hi, Mr. E. It's good to hear from you, and good to know you guys survived the storm.

Moving is depressing to me. We've moved twice in our marriage, first from the home I originally bought with the expectation of raising our family in, a home some of our children were born in. Moving was the right thing to do, but leaving that home was very hard. It took awhile to recover from that, but focusing on my new life in our new town was what did it.

Human beings have a remarkable capacity to adjust to new circumstances. It's hard when you're giving up surroundings you love, but you will get through this, and in the end you guys are going to be better than ever.

Thanks for checking in mr.e. So glad you and mrs. e are ok.

I'm sure there will be moments, but good job that you and mrs.e are in it for the long haul.

I'm sure you're doing the right thing. Cheers to your new adventure.

I'm changing my sig from recovering to recovered. If Dr. H says we've recovered, who am I to question the expert assessment?

Last night while packing, I came upon the medication prescribed to me by the psychiatrist who was treating me post-affair:

Me: "What should we do with this?"
Mrs E: "I promise that you will NEVER need that ever again!"
Me: "Well, we should pitch it, then."
<Big hug - Life is good>

That's great, Mr. E!

BRAVO!!!!!

Recovered it is!

The final step in our relocation is happening. We have sold our old house, and will be traveling back for the closing tomorrow. This was the last thing connecting us to the old life. I'm happy about it, but my wife is *extremely* happy. Relocation has really helped us a lot.

I should add, we stuck to Dr. H's no nights apart rule like it was law. It wasn't always convenient, but we spent every night together - no separation overnight for the purpose of getting the house ready or accommodating job requirements. My wife ended up having to take some leave without pay, but we were better off for it.

Nice update. Am I remembering correctly that you talked about the move on the radio show a few months ago?

AM

Yes. It is all covered in the prior posts on this thread, including some links to the show supplied by the MB librarian, BH.

Sorry. I must have been extra-lazy last night. I recall Dr. Harley also talking about you reading and re-reading "Draw Close" to start your day. My H and I read those devotionals at night before going to sleep. It's another great Harley book.

In any case, great use of negotiation and POJA.

AM

Here it is AM.

Mr.E,
It's so nice to watch your recovery.

I�m back on my original thread to tell you about an incident that happened last week, and how we handled it (or in some ways, mishandled it).

Things have been going just great for us. We moved seven months ago, and have built a new life here that the whole family is very happy with. I am now retired and I spend my time writing software, keeping the house in order, and providing primary care for our autistic son. My wife is working at her new job. It is there where the story starts.

There is a local festival, like a county fair, that is held every fall. My wife decided she wants to try her luck at the baking contest. She has been trying new recipes and taking them to work. There she leaves cards out for people to write their opinions. She had one desert that she made that I tried some of (I�m an insulin-dependent diabetic so I really shouldn�t be eating lots of high glycemic-index foods) and I know for a fact was quite spectacular. Somebody left a comment card that said only �Marry Me�. My wife told me about it, but deliberately picked a time when I wasn�t really paying attention as she could sneak it under the wire. Several days later, a guy cornered her when nobody else was around and revealed himself as the perpetrator. She waited another day, and then told me about that directly. Her reason for the delay was that she was afraid I would just tell her to stop taking in deserts to work, and she didn�t want to stop. My actual reaction was to say that I am not going to �tell� you to do anything; this is something we need to discuss and find a mutual enthusiastic agreement.

We had a POJA discussion, the result of which was a decision that she should report the incident to her work supervision and let the organization handle it. The guy ended up having to apologize.

At this point, I could just you what I carried away from all of this, but I�d rather hear what you have to say first.