Your posts are still about you.

Do you get it now?

Think about her. REALLY think about her. Don't ask what you are going to do, don't ask where you're going to go. Improve, stop sending texts to women -- you know, the obvious stuff we've been telling you for ages!

Karmasrose,

I can't just take on my own. she is to provide the questions. she has someone that she has talked to. this is something I can't just go do.

kiss

Sure you can take the poly yourself. The obvious questions involve other women, etc. Take it.

Do what I said -- improve your attitude, stop texting other women, and so on -- and your wife MAY just decide that she wants you back.

Your flailing around and making excuses ("I can't! I CAN'T! Now how do I get her back?!") and refusing to do anything is causing you more harm than anything right now.

Karmasrose,

I do think of her constantly. Everything I do effects het. I don't want ti spend money that we need for our family. We have been talking about moving to Florida. my parents have been looking for months on their days off during the days because they work nights. I don't want to use any of our down payment money if we still have a chance. If its short term I can sleep in my car I don't care I want what is best for us. I think a fresh start or a new beginnings would be a big benefit.

KISS

There can be no "fresh start." You cannot just wipe this clean. I know that you know that so I will operate on that premise.

If you want what is best for the two of you, stop this pity stuff -- you are gainfully employed and should be able to at least find an apartment or a hotel until you can GET one. If you can comfortably leave $1200 a month in your wife's account (or joint or whatever) you can get someplace.

Cut out this woe is me stuff, if your wife were talking to you it would be very unattractive to her.

Karmasrose,

I do agree it wouldn't be a fresh start or a redo. I do believe it would help the healing process to not have the constant reminders or those triggers that keep bringing up those flash backs.

KISS

Your attitude is what needs to change, not just your location. And from what I remember, RQ wasn't exactly enthusiastic about this move, as you would be removing her from her support system, and this wasn't POJA'd.

I would look at this as long term.

Your friends are telling you to "move on" because they don't get it. What they are saying is go out and have a GF. Well bucko, you are STILL MARRIEd. And having a GF while you are married is ADULTERY. Your friends aren't helping you become a better person, they are helping you destroy yourself. Being wayward takes it's toll on you.

I am sad that your marriage may be over, but it's purely because WE posters have put more effort into saving your marriage than you have. You are no where near safe enough for RQ to consider recovery with you. Get your head outta your butt already and learn what life would really be like if you were without your family. You may have pushed her too far over the edge to ever get her back. That LB balance may be in the red.

Stop this wow is me garbage and grow up. You're a father, and a husband, start acting like one. Find yourself some place safe where you will be able to have your children visit and get your act together. It's beyond time that you started doing some real work.

You have a place through tomorrow, that's good!

You can also talk to your minister and elders, they usually know someone that may have a room for rent on a short term basis.... (kid is in college and the room is empty type of situation, kid just married and have a room, etc.)

Talk to one of the inexpensive hotel chains in your area (motel 8, days inn, etc.), they negotiate weekly prices. They will usually rent out a room for about $125 a week.

Even salvation army near you will help locate a room on a temporary basis.... You have many options, besides signing a lease, for the short term....

It's humbling, isn't it!

Turn to God for your direction, not to misguided friends.
Read about what happened to Saul in 1 Chronicles 10:13 then turn to Philippians chapter 3 and meditate on the differences between the two readings.

Herpapabear,

it is very humbling. Thanks for the info. will work on it after court today at 2. Its going to be a long 4 hours till then.

thanks,
KISS

Remember, how you act in court today can to a long way. Spend that 4 hours thinking about that.

Luvsdavid,

I know. I feel that I'm going to break down in court and look silly. I'm at the point that I dint care what people think of me. its all about my wife. I will give her what ever she wants. (As long as it isn't a divorce) I have spent a lot of time trying to minimize what I have done. Just worrying about my image and what people think of me. I'm done with it. I need to impress only rocketqueen. I have portrayed her as crazy or insane just to minimize what I did. I am truly sorry.

KISS

I just received a email from our intermediary containing the contact info about the polygraph. I have already called him. Unfortunately I got his voice mail. I left a message hopefully I get a response soon.

KISS

I'm gonna help you with the poly questions. Read Here Poly thread

Many people have posted the questions they asked. You will notice they are all basically the same. Do the research.

Also dont know how to quote other threads but here is a great example from Schoolbus.

Re: Polygraph Help [Re: L2010NM]



schoolbus
Member

Registered: 01/30/06
Posts: 3093



1. Besides the two women your wife already knows about, have there been any other women with whom you have had sexual contact of any kind during your relationship with your wife?

2. Since January 1, 2010, have you had any communication or contact, giving or receiving, with any previous or new sexual partners?

3. Was there emotional or sexual contact with OW2, giving or receiving, prior to May of 2009?

4. Besides your wife, have you had sexual contact of any kind, giving or receiving, with any other person in your marital home?

5. Have you answered all of your wife's questions regarding this affair with complete and truthful responses?




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It's about time!

When you care more about what others think, your wife knows it and feels it too! It's just a shame that you waited until RQ really may be done.




Please give her what she wants and NEEDS regardless of whether she stays or goes. This is about your character. It's also about RQ's and the childrens needs.



Have you decided to express this everyone in your life, or just to this forum?

You've injured RQ's reputation and slandered her for personal gain. It will tae a mighty effort on your part to convince all these people that YOU'VE been the whack job all along.....

So what are you going to do about it? Even if she chooses divorce, will you carry out the right course of action??

Then make it happen!

It's time to put your money where your mouth is, so to speak!

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!

I think you should post the questions you want on the poly here and run by the members. Remember this is a great opportunity for you to show actions.

kiss,

You've been given loads of excellent advice. Why don't you tell us what YOUR list of actions are.

Yes. I have went to a lot of our friends already. I had a long conversation and apologiEs to her sister inlaw on Saturday when I dropped the kids off to het. I will continue to have these conversations.

kiss

These statements are polar opposites, and yet you put them back to back. I will never believe it's all about your BW, when almost every sentence is about you and how this is affecting you.

Until you care light years more for your family and what you have caused them to suffer, than the minor inconveniences you are now experiencing at your own hand, you won't get off Square 1.