Have you read this?
A Discovery of Walls and Doors

Thank goodness. I was terribly worried about SS, given how your WW has been acting -- at least MIL will take good care of him.

And you have your SS. The kids are fine, which is a small weight off your shoulders.

It is very like WW. They're all like this -- who cares about the kids, I want to be with my man!

/sarcasm

Do you have your son's passport? Or can you possibly have him blocked from flying, just in case she goes nuts again and tries to abduct him?

Yup all that is done. As for myself I'm taking all kinds of classes in parenting, anger management, and cooking. Preparing myself for single dad life. Good post BH. Really helped me rethink some things. At this point my focus is my DS and myself. I just pray everything else follows.

Another sleepless night. Today DS cried cause he wants WW and SS home with us. I held him while he cried and distracted him with Halloween talk. Despite what's going on I always let DS talk to WW via phone. Once again I am baffled how someone I knew and loved could do this to their own child and husband. I have so much anger and contempt for POSOM. I mean seething anger! It sucks cause its cold and I can't just go outside and run when I'm mad like this and you can only do so many push ups till your arms don't work LOL.

I read a post by someone on another thread that WW look at POSOM as a new Xmas toy and eventually it gets old and they come back to the old toys because they have history and are more reliable. I hope that is my case and that I'm not second choice but the best choice. For our kids sakes. Done venting, I guess going to try to take my butt to bed. God bless!

TD,

POSOM as a new Xmas toy

You are being quite generous. That how they start out, eventually they turn into a badly behaved dog that destroys all your other toys, and rips your house apart.

God Bless
Gamma.

Well, as long as you're all "push-up'd" ("pushed-up"?) out, instead of sitting there freezing and sulking, how about getting to work?

You appear to think you and WW have a future together. Okay, put together, and post here, the list of ACTIONS (not utterences, nor feelings) that WW is going to have to perform/demonstrate before you merely open the door to even discuss such an act of forgiveness. Not only actions, but the degree to which she must perform them, the level of transparency she will have to do them by, and the timeframne to which they must be done.

Think: job-change; apologies to all family members; total withdrawal from her mother/accessory; post-nuptial agreement; surrender of all credit cards and access to funds; giving up her passport to your control, etc, etc.

Should be a helluva list!

> A full confession to me and mutual friends and kids
> A sincere, remorseful apology to kids friends and family
> Why you think this happened (name the problem on both sides --you've got to name it to claim it)
> A detailed recovery plan (what it is and how YOU plan to implement it)
> Proof you're working a 12-step program for addiction
> See a psychiatrist for your personal issues.
> Proof is required on demand.
>NC letter to POSOM
> enroll in a MB program together
>read all Dr. H books
>legal agreement where the kids don't leave without my permission
> no more OS friends
> complete transparency; no Facebook or social networking
> change units

Dude! Where did you get the supply of "nice guy" pills?

> A full confession to me and mutual friends and kids
> A sincere, remorseful apology to kids friends and family
> Why you think this happened (name the problem on both sides --you've got to name it to claim it) Waste of time, and gives her "spin" opportunity
> A detailed recovery plan (what it is and how YOU plan to implement it) You drive the bus, TD, so: Follow to 100% compliance the recovery plan TD defines
> Proof you're working a 12-step program for addiction
> See a psychiatrist for your personal issues.
> Proof is required on demand.
> NC letter to POSOM
> enroll in a follow the MB program together
> read follow all Dr. H books I can READ a Superman comic, but still can't "leap over tall buildings in a single bound" - it takes me TWO
> legal agreement where the kids don't leave without my permission Unenforceable, as long as she remains a custodial parent, so: Give up custody of DS to you, exclusively
> no more OS friends
> complete transparency; no Facebook or social networking And, all passwords to private and work IDs. If work cannot accommodate your access, she changes jobs
> change units

> STD test
> verification of her "illness" story
> MIL? Passport? Access to funds?

NG thanks for editing my list. Revising it now. Dude! Where did you get the supply of "nice guy" pills?

> A full confession to me and mutual friends and kids
> A sincere, remorseful apology to kids friends and family
> Why you think this happened (name the problem on both sides --you've got to name it to claim it) Waste of time, and gives her "spin" opportunity
> A detailed recovery plan (what it is and how YOU plan to implement it) You drive the bus, TD, so: Follow to 100% compliance the recovery plan TD defines
> Proof you're working a 12-step program for addiction
> See a psychiatrist for your personal issues.
> Proof is required on demand.
> NC letter to POSOM
> enroll in a follow the MB program together
> read follow all Dr. H books I can READ a Superman comic, but still can't "leap over tall buildings in a single bound" - it takes me TWO
> legal agreement where the kids don't leave without my permission Unenforceable, as long as she remains a custodial parent, so: Give up custody of DS to you, exclusively
> no more OS friends
> complete transparency; no Facebook or social networking And, all passwords to private and work IDs. If work cannot accommodate your access, she changes jobs
> change units

> STD test
> verification of her "illness" story got verification I'm medical in the army used my networking skills she needs to have an extensive test it's not confirmed yet.
> MIL? Passport? Access to funds? She doesn't have access sons passport is locked I forgot about the MIL she is out of our lives for at least 8-10years

Forgot polygraph

iPhone didn't add the crossed out stuff

I think you will end up in the same place I am: Divorce.

There comes a point where there has to be SOME trust.
Her behaviors can be explained as "being in the fog" or "mental illness" but the fact is she tried to kidnap your son. This actually happens often. The difference is that you acted as a man and not a pushover wimp.

Things will get better the more you are away from her toxicity.
And I would stop the son-mother phone calls and try to shield your son from her behaviors.

I am proud of your actions through all of this and I encourage you to stay the course, don't settle for crumbs because life is short and too precious to be your wife's parole officer in marriage for the rest of your life.

(if it wasn't for the fact she removed your kids from the States I would see a possibility of rebuilding some trust. But that crosses the line. In my case my wife accused me of drugging her, kidnapping and raping her. And she also hid the kids from me. In the end I prevailed thanks to a GAL in divorce court - make certain you request a GAL. And I would advocate divorce now (without delay) ; in a custody evaluation she will just appear crazy and help your case, plus waywards in love are willing to give up more in court during an affair)

I strongly encourage you to listen to Notthwood and NeverGuesse for regular reality checks.

Stay the course, and finish strong

I highly doubt a WW this devious will be easy to deal with in court.

She isn't devious.
She's stupid. There is a difference. The court gave him custody because of her irrational behavior.
It's the fight or flight reaction. She quit her job and ran off to PR. She will not fight in court if he has a good attorney.

Okay, I missed the part about her quitting her job. Sorry about that. Silly me.

Where did she quit her job HDW? She still is in her unit. One of his conditions for recovery is to change units.

She took the kids to PR before she was to do a training session.

Tranquil did she quit?

BH,
His wife is in the reserves.
That is part time, one weekend a month. Two weeks a year unless transferred to active status.

She had a local job that she quit. She was fired for not showing up.

She is making very irrational decisions, similar to the ones my ex wife made. I don't thinks she would hold up in a custody evaluation.

Ok, I thought you meant the military.

She got fired from Walmart due to absences. She is still with her unit but she is reserve. It would be easy for her to put that on hold for 2 years so we can reconcile. She is running away cause she is ashamed of what she is doing with the POSOM. Nevertheless I will focus on me and DS. When she talks to DS it's on speakerphone so I can make sure she isn't crossing lines. They issued a warrant for her arrest because she is with POSOM and didn't come back for her court date. She is currently shacked up with him and supposed to be back for our custody court date. Honestly, by the end of the year she will be back and ready to reconcile.

Sir please stop predicting your wife's behavior or explaining it.

How often does she call? Or is the boy calling her?