She calls I don't answer because its 10pm at nite. I know she just wants to talk me and not to DS. Also, she calls when POSOM is at work. In her state it's best she doesn't have contact with DS. I see your point about predicting I should stop that sets myself up for failure. CPS also filed a reckless behavior and neglect charge against her. I will have custody for sure. My heart really goes out to SS. I'm sure she will be back and ready for R. The only thing that is going to prevent that is me. I feel at that point I will be done and not willing to R.

I think your WW is going to hit a haaaaaaaaaard bottom. An arrest warrant? Wow.

You are doing a great job.
It's a good thing to have Children Svcs on your side.
My case was very similar. I had CPS at the house and my wife hated being under the microscope.
You said that she is on speakerphone. When do these calls happen?

Even though she is with POSOM believe she is rock bottom. So lets just say she will hit bedrock lol. Eventually she will realize her actions have a cause and effect.
Cause she had an affair I had to take these actions to protect my family. Ill pray on this while I play Xbox with DS!

When you ever do talk with her, do you think there could be any way you could use any of this to try to get her to see that she is not the best parent for the step son right now?

SS is with MIL right now, if that's what you were wondering.

Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me. So, MIL has more rights to SS than step-father in these kinds of situations?

IANAL but I think stepdads usually have NO rights to the kid.

That is sad. That little boy has lost the only real family - security he has ever known, and lost growing up with a sibling.

The only exception would be a Children Svcs order

Did their command give them a no contact order?

Did you inform their command they are together now?

When I talk to her 2 weeks ago she admitted I was the better parent and god will give me what I want cause I'm going to church, got saved and making changes to my life. I told her that means my family will be intact and your going to leave POSOM alone. Then she started crying and expressed her feelings to me. Was a moment of clarity. She is still convinced I treat DS and SS differently SS is with MIL and is getting spoiled everyday. The best place for him is with me but she convinced her family I am abusive to her. So they won't give her SS back cause they think we both bad.
She refuses to recant those lies so there is nothing I can do about him. MIL wants custody of both our kids and she gave her the idea of running away to PR with our kids. In PR they usually grant custody to the mother and MIL was banking on that. So I have DS MIL has SS and WW has POSOM. Knowing my WW it's killing her not having her kids and she will fold. POSOM can't meet all her EN. I did and she will realize that.

As I read your latest post TD, I got the most horrible realization. Sometimes there are some people whose holes inside their being just can't be filled. I fear your WW is one of those people. Whatever caused those holes, she is filling with the wrong things. That is typical behavior. We all have fears that create little pockets inside of us, and we all know how powerful those little pockets are. Think about gaping holes. There is no filling them. God can probably do the best work here. She doesn't seem to have God or His direction in her life, so she is filling them with everything material and fleshy. Those things only drain out the other end. They never heal. They just feel good and put a bandaid on the pain for a bit. People with these kinds of holes have affairs, are drug, alcohol, gambling and sex addicts. They go for anything to help themselves feel better. She is really not in control of her life and doesn't seem to see the true reasons why.

Our marriage counselor said that before I found MB. It hurts cause I know she knows this but chooses to ignore it. POSOM in general see this and prey on women like this. I'm not making excuses for her after all she is an adult. Only person who will help her realize that is herself. I haven't given up on her or m marriage but at this point I can't let her run over my heart and disrespect our family.

Do their command know they are together right now?

Didn't their command give them a NC order?

They know now waiting on what they are going to do about it.

Command still investigating. WW comes in to town today from spending time in POSOM city/home. I have no idea what to expect from her. She doesn't have a place to stay so she will probably be in a hotel. Have court tomorrow to se off OP will be extended for 2 years. I hope it does! WW may have a warrant for missing court. Need some advice! If she offers to R should I take it? I'm leaning towards yes only if she completes 3 things on my list of R to dos for her. NG, ML, HDW! Need your words of wisdom on how to proceed!

That's a decision you should only make after careful consideration and prayer.
Personally, I offered reconciliation to my wife up until the day of divorce. The requirement was that she would have to agree to follow the MB program. But she was in love with OM and viewed divorce as freedom.

I your wife just returned from marathon sex with OM I doubt she will ask for reconciliation.

One thing that Melody kept telling me in my ordeal which I took to heart was "Keep te bar high".

We will support you no matter what you choose. But as Indiana Jones was told by the knight in the last Crusade, "Choose wisely. Just as the true cup will give you life the false one will take it from you"

Need your words of wisdom on how to proceed!

Uhhhh, I'd start with checking your laundry basket, because it seems two very important pieces of your anatomy recently became detached while changing your shorts!!!

Let me get this right: Skanky blows back into town, arriving immediately after climbing out of POSOMs bed, possibly having not even adaquately rinsed herself of the remains of their coupling (and all this in defiance of US Military orders to desist), and your reaction is to begin winnowing down the list of almost two dozen "mandates" of recovery actions to THREE, to get recovery started? Is that what I just read?

Just to semd me to the nearest bottle of single-malt, would you inform us which three you've selected?

I see your point guys. She will have to do all steps for recovery. But to start out she needs to do the following.

A full confession
> take a polygraph
> NC letter to POSOM
Give up custody of kids
Read and follow Dr. Hs books
Do I help her during this? Do we do these things together during the R?