I am sure this topic has been posted before but I would love to hear stories about it.

eharmony - I joined for a while but only once was I matched with someone that I felt compatible with. We dated for a few months but in the long run, we weren't that compatible.

match.com - I have looked at it and it looks like a bar scene with everybody hitting on everbody they see.

fishinthesea.com - Is it just me, or can people put down the can of Busch-Lite before they take their profile picture???

Has anyone had any luck meeting people online?

My experience:

Match.com - meatmarket. Lots of options, but also I sensed the "kid in the candy store" mentality from many of the ladies (not saying men aren't the same, I just happened to be looking for women ).

JDate - too much of what I don't like in women of my religion (materialism). Sorry, no offense meant.

Eharmony - when I first joined they did not show photos until you got to like third or fourth stage of communication, so that you can "fall in love for the right reasons". OK, I guess they never read Harley's concept of Attractive Spouse as an EN. Then I met a couple of women who seemed nothing like my type, so I am not sure why they matched me up with them. A couple of years later I got a decent match, we dated for a year but had too many insurmountable differences. A couple more matches later then sent me J's profile, whom I promptly addressed by a wrong name when writing to her. I guess it had the right effect, we got married two years later.

Based on my experience, I would give eharmony a shot. And by that I mean sign up for the whole year and really give it a chance, like they ask you to do. It's quite an investment of time and energy and money, but the "matching" system also makes it more manageable, since you are not bombarded with thousands of people screaming "Pick me!! Pick me!!"

AGG

ROFL!!!! I went online met a lovely widoer man with 3 kids. I love dhim so much but I was not what he wanted in a mate besides the loving his kids, cooking, being so wifey, trying to spoil him. I could not be the deceased wife, and his kids would not bond with me,but still loved him madly UNTIL he got a few girlfriends in the marriage. I refuse to share my husband with other woman. But I will try again evedntually I like to be part of a team.

However has anyone tried a old fashion matchmaker for finding the love of their life?

Sable Venuse

BHINWI

Yes. And very happpy.

Met Ruby in August 2011 on ChristianMingle.com. Still moving together slowly at this point.

Not all the glitz, glamour, bells and whistles like the sites you mentioned in your post.

Enough info provided yet not over the top to find the relationship that I was looking for.

You can join for free and check it out. To communicate though (through them) you have to pay but it was very affordable.

nESRE

I have a MAJOR fear of dating sites. I know some ppl find mates and have GREAT luck with them but as in the real dating world, how the heck would you know you are not getting a whack job? I knew my ex from the time I was 13 years old and I didn't know I had a whack job until many years into the marriage. There are just too many scary aspects to online dating IMO. Like I said before, please Lord, drop the RIGHT person in my lap.

You answered your own question prissanna . You don't know if you are getting a whack job online any more than you don't know if you are getting one in real life. I met some whackos online, but I also met whackos through work and through relatives, so online dating does not have exclusivity rights to whackos.

You just need to be careful with your screening. In some ways, you can screen better through e-mails and phone chats than you can with a "friend of a friend" where you often end up meeting before you know anything about the person.

Just be careful and selective .

AGG

Yes, but you are much wiser now then when you were 13.

I think online dating is safe but I would suggest never meeting a person anywhere but a public place. And I would take it very slow...

My dh and I were introduced by friends. Friends who were nervous about being involved in the matchmaking business...but they had given each of us some serious thought as to the kind of person they thought we wanted and needed...they have another single friend but they both said they immediately rejected him as a possibility for me.

Are your sure about that?

I met Mike on Match.

Eharmony is great if you are in a highly populated area. Otherwise, you need one of the meat markets. There just aren't enough people in a rural area, so you get sent matches from two hours away. That's too far for most people to build a relationship, especially if one or both can't move.

I actually did It's Just Loosers. I mean, I'ts Just Lunch. It's expensive, and they claim they hand pick. They do NOT. Not only taht, they don't show photos before hand. Now, tell me, what red-blooded man who can afford a personal dating service is willing to go out sight unseen? Men are visual creatures in general. IJL is for the desperate.

Prissanna, the way I approach all dating is to assume the men are really nice, really smart, and probably whack jobs. But even the whack jobs, like Frenchy-Moroccan dude from Labor Day contribute something. In this case a good story and decreased appetite.

Most men aren't dangerous, and I think most of the dangerous ones can be eliminated by getting their vital information and meeting in public places until you are comfortable. The other type are the scam artists, but these are also weeded out rather quickly. Their profiles look too good to be true, they write like cheap romance writers, and their photos look like them came from a men's wear catalog.

One thing that Match and other sites are good for is Practice! Most dates don't end in marriage. So, I think it's a good idea to get some practice in with anyone who has potential, keeping in mind there's only a 1 in 4 chance you'll keep dating.

Then, when the Good Lord does drop him in your lap, you're prepared.

Another thought: Sometimes, it's not about us. Sometimes, God places people in our path, not for us, but for them. We don't know, but it's all worked to His ends.

Match.com is brilliant because it allows you to explore possibilities you would never have otherwise thought of. I definitely recommend it and have tons of older friends who have paired off that way.

Take great care with your profile, make sure the photo is honest but flattering. Write amusingly and be subtle. For instance you don't want to say 'I have a lot of money' but you can put in breadcrumbs that will be picked up by the right person, probably someone in a similar situation.

Don't sit back and see what responses you get, be proactive. Filter for something you enjoy like 'sailing' and see what hits you get. When you find someone whose profile you like, write a very carefully thought out email to them about yourself.

Don't be discouraged by the nutcases. Remember that the virtual world does not allow the filtration system that your eyes use.

Email for at least a week or two before you agree to meet.

Meet in a public place and keep the commitment short (coffee not dinner).

Most of all, remember that people tell us most about themselves the very first time we meet them. Look for the subtle clues, they will tell you everything if you let them.

I met my husband on Match 2 years ago....we were married on December 10 and couldn't be happier!!!

I've done Match, eH and PoF. PoF is a good place to start, since it's free if you don't opt for the bells and whistles (yet, it's still functional). Just like walking into a bar, restaurant or any other public place, there are going to be crazies (and I've met my share of those). If you go slowly and use your head, it seems safe enough and you can meet some great people.

Match was probably my favorite of the three, FWIW.

Hi! It's been a while since I have been here, but was scanning through today while in detention and this one caught my attention!

I did do the online dating thing, meet some nice guys. Wasn't looking for a spouse, but looking for someone to spend sometime with, to do things with.

The man that I am engaged to meet my friend online and they dated for a month or 2 and didn't work out. A little more then a year later, we re-connected and hit it off, I hadn't really considered him before as my friend was dating him and I someone else. So in a round about way, we meet online!!!!!

I always kept my standards high, and wouldn't accept anything less.

Just thought that I would share.

Dawn

Hi Dawn,

Don't want to TJ this thread, but I can't let you slip this past us . Congratulations! And how about some more details??

AGG

Congrats,Dawn!

I met my husband on eHarmony, after 3 years of using the service. We were both 50+ when we met. We do live in a sparsely populated area of the country, and lived several hours apart. I think its wonderful that eHarmony allowed us to meet when our paths never would've crossed otherwise.

I did meet a few guys through eHarmony where I thought, "how could I possibly match up with him?", and I few where I was interested but they weren't, but I'm glad I hung in there. My husband had just started using it when we met.... I'm glad I met him quickly or surely another woman would have snatched him right up!

eHarmony did allow us to share pictures right away, which I preferred, since I didn't want to spend time corresponding with anyone who wouldn't be interested in me based on appearance. I did learn it was best to email, phone for a few weeks, but to meet in person fairly quickly. I think it's possible to build up an idea of a person you know virtually that does not correspond to reality. Best not to let that fantasy build.

I didn't want to do match.com, since I know lots of folks, married or not, who enjoy looking to see who's on match, and I felt I could be more honest in my profile if I knew my co-workers would not be teasing me about it.

So, I am a big fan of eHarmony and patience.

A nice story. Glad it worked out.

Well I placed an ad on match and christianmingle after divorce.
I didn't pay and decided I didn't want to date anyway.

I kept getting promotional emails and ignored them. I deleted them.
Then Christian mingle said I had interested women. And I looked and it was a woman from my bible study!
Someone I had no interest in!
So a warning! CM matches by your church. Plus I don't mean to sound superficial but most of the women on CM appeared very unhealthy versus the matches I got on match.com.

I deleted my profile. So think carefully before you sign up for online dating sites!

None of the dating sites will match you intelligently but with a little work they can be a great tool. Throw away any suggestions they make.

Their greatest value is in helping you think outside the box.

I come from a very unusual background, there are very few of us around. To make matters worse, I live overseas and so my friends could not easily introduce me to someone suitable. I always assumed that I would never find anyone unless I went home leaving my two adult daughters behind, massive dilemma.

Then I hit on the idea of using the keyword searches on Match. Subtle stuff, took me a few weeks to get it right and then bingo. I hit the jackpot. I'm not sure which of us was the more astonished. Total needle in a haystack. We are still laughing.