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Originally Posted by JenniferVoyager
Does that mean she hasn't complained in 7 or 8 years or you haven't viewed any in 7 or 8 years?

Which is it, kiss?


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by kiss
HerPapaBear,

Im off on Thursday and I'm going to see about getting rid of my car. The kiss pins are still at our house so as soon as I could get them I will be listing them on eBay.


KISS

A step in the right direction.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by JenniferVoyager
Does that mean she hasn't complained in 7 or 8 years or you haven't viewed any in 7 or 8 years?


Please answer.


Me, BS: 35
WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess
6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage
Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011
"I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting
Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12
Divorce final 7/29/2013
Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children
Personal Recovery well underway!
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Originally Posted by kiss
I took my lie detector test tonight.

What were the results?

Or did I miss that somewhere...

Don't forget the question about the porn.


Me (BH)
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Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

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The rest of the quoted post tells us what he said, and we took him to task for this...

...but what we don't seem to have asked or had answered is the 'result', pass or fail.

kiss, did you pass all the questions?

Was there evidence of lying on any of your answers? If so, which ones?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Kiss, you've been awfully quiet. You're not gonna quit on yourself now are ya?


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Black_Raven,

It has been seven or eight years since I have watched it. I never watched it regularly. I have watched it since but it has been a long time. Its not something I feel a need for. My wife has done a great job of meeting my needs.

KISS

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Northwood8900,

I just got my results today. The questions that he asked me was:

1- have I had contact with the affair partner since 3/17 and my answer was no. That answer was fine.

2- have you had physical sexual contact with another woman besides your affair partner since being married 6/16/2001. my answer was no. He said it jumped a little but he felt I was telling the truth.

3- did you have sexual contact with affair partner before you moved out on 1/18/2012 Besides the oral sex you told me my answer was no. IT came back as me not telling the truth.

On the third question he was going to retest me as he said that the issue why I kept jumping was because I kept thinking of the situation. He told me that I had to have a blank mind and not think about anything as it does effect the test. I don't know how you sit their with all these wires on you and not put any thought into what he is asking. your mind is spinning the entire time. He wanted to retest me and ask me if I had intercourse with te affair partner on or before 1/18/2012. RQ said that she didn't want him to test me again she had the info she wanted.

KISS

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Scotland,

I am never going to give up. I have a lot of work to do.

I had my kids this weekend and yesterday as it was my Birthday. Witch was such a heavy day. Thank God I have the greatest kids they were so excited about it being my birthday so it made me do things and make sure they had a good day as I just wish I could have slept the day and just skipped it.

KISS

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What about the money that was withdrawn and the missing check? When does that get returned to the family funds?


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Logans_Run,

It went back today. I had it put back this afternoon. The money will be available tomorrow. It was put back into the joint account. I let RQ sister in-law know today that it was in their I told her that RQ can use it if needed just to let me know what she is taking it for and how much.

KISS

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You sent the message about finances through an inccorect channel if RQ is in PB. You should be sending these types of things through the IM. And, I have to ask, why does she have to tell you why she's taking the money out? Do you have to do the same? ANd how would you inform each other of it?

You don't view porn, ever? Have you viewed porn in the last 7 years? Last 3 years? Last 6 months? Since you and RQ separated? Porn is a HUGE issue in a marriage, and I have often seen that a WH will have turned to porn, before he ever considered having an affair. This is usually the starting point of the slippery slope that a wayward slides down as they enter the abyss. It's just odd for you to have included it in your EPs and then you say that you don't watch it anyways.



BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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todays radio show takeaways:

1-Affair is the worst nightmare of the betrayed spouses life.

2-BS needs to get away from triggers. Restruants, Buildings, even move out of the area.

3-how does the betrayed spouse make changes from how they were before the affair. Betrayed spouse needs to make changes also. Their aren't excusesfor the affair but their are reasons.

4-betrade spouse has the option for divoorce

5-if the betrade spouse decides to stay in the marriage he/she needs to put the effort into it thatis needed for change.

6-Marriage is more important then your finances.

7-traveling job is fatel flaw to a marriage

KISS

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Originally Posted by kiss
Black_Raven,

It has been seven or eight years since I have watched it. I never watched it regularly. I have watched it since but it has been a long time. Its not something I feel a need for. My wife has done a great job of meeting my needs.

KISS

crazy

Ok, come on now! It's been since 2004 or 2005 since you watched porn but you've watched it since then? You ought to be in politics making word salads like that!

Look, man, it's not my marriage and I don't really give a damn what you do, but if you use fuzzy language with a bunch of strangers on the internet who you will never meet then you're going to have a hell of a time with your wife.

Just saying!






Me (BH)
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Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

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I was talking to RQ sister in-law about the lie detector test so I told her that the money was back in the account. I asked her to let me know what she is spending it on and how much so I know. I have no access to the account and would like some idea what is going on with the money instead of me finding out that its all gone. Yes if I take money out I would let her know through our IM.

It has been a couple of months since I have viewed any kind of porn. The only reason that I included it was because it was on HerPapaBears list and a friend said that it is a big issue in her marriage.

KISS

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Originally Posted by kiss
a friend said that it is a big issue in her marriage.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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kiss, when you leave out things when giving the truth, they tend to come back to bite you in the butt. Why are you still talking to women? Talking to a friend, issue in her marriage. You need to STOP seeking discussion of any kind with other women. Stop getting any fix or approval of any sort, from any woman at any time. Become a monk for a while. That funky hairdo monks wear will scare the ladies away. Think Friar Tuck. You have to stop looking for anything from another woman. You should not have woman friends, period. Have you figured out why you keep doing this?

Last edited by Littlebit3; 11/14/12 12:15 AM.

BS Me 47,WH 49
DS's x3 17, 10, 7
Multiple D-Days
No disclosure by WH. No EP's, no transparency, no guilt or remorse either.
Plan C DOES NOT WORK!
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Originally Posted by kiss
Northwood8900,

I just got my results today. The questions that he asked me was:

1- have I had contact with the affair partner since 3/17 and my answer was no. That answer was fine.

2- have you had physical sexual contact with another woman besides your affair partner since being married 6/16/2001. my answer was no. He said it jumped a little but he felt I was telling the truth.

3- did you have sexual contact with affair partner before you moved out on 1/18/2012 Besides the oral sex you told me my answer was no. IT came back as me not telling the truth.

On the third question he was going to retest me as he said that the issue why I kept jumping was because I kept thinking of the situation. He told me that I had to have a blank mind and not think about anything as it does effect the test. I don't know how you sit their with all these wires on you and not put any thought into what he is asking. your mind is spinning the entire time. He wanted to retest me and ask me if I had intercourse with te affair partner on or before 1/18/2012. RQ said that she didn't want him to test me again she had the info she wanted.

KISS


How come All the questions are just about sex and your affair? Hasn't one of the biggest barriers to recovery been your refusal to end inappropriate contact with women and lying about OS "friendships?" Did you come up with the questions or did RQ? And what other sexual contact did you have before moving out?


Me, BS: 35
WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess
6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage
Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011
"I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting
Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12
Divorce final 7/29/2013
Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children
Personal Recovery well underway!
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littlebit3,

It's a family member.

KISS

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Jennofervoyager,

The questions were choosen by RQ and their was no other sexual contact.

KISS

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