Are you moved in and getting all your personal touches in place?

Caracal,

How are you doing?

I've been thinking of Cara too Brainy, she's been very quiet all round not just MB. I'm hoping all is well and she is just busy.

Funny. I was thinking about Caracal just yesterday. Maybe, she will pop in.

If anyone has the ability to send her a message, I hope they will let her know that her MB family is thinking of her.

Just sent Cara the message. I did try to contact her a few days ago.

Thank you happy.

I've been meaning to post an update for ages... and with some gentle prodding from happy recently have realised its been over five months. �Oops! So that and some recent developments have given me the kick I needed. � And I've missed you guys! Thanks AM, Brainy, happy, Logan and any other MBer who has thought of me

Life is great. �In a last minute dash, I moved into my home days before Xmas, surrounded by boxes, sitting on camping furniture, and eating pizza with a glass of red... aaaah. �I kept looking around in disbelief... it was all mine! �Actually... I still do lol. �Friends and family came to the rescue, helping me with moving, taping newspapers to the windows as I hadn't ordered window coverings yet... yep, the place didn't look homely or classy in its initial stages. �Fast forward to now, and most of my furniture has been delivered. �I went with mangowood, with chocolate leather dining chairs and sofas. �A friend has been helping me install light fitttings, so last weekend I helped hang some pretty pendant lights in the kitchen, even learning how to use a cordless drill. �Yesterday �the outdoor lights went up. �The blinds are now up, hollands in the living areas, romans in the bedrooms, thankfully no newspapers in sight! �I'm still waiting for a coffee table to be delivered, and have yet to pick a second persian rug I have decided I need, some cushions and minor decorations... and the garden... gulp. �That really needs some time, work and money. �I'm getting there though. �

On the work front, I acted up in a senior position for a month, enjoying the learning experience. �Then I got the opportunity to do a month of training in Melbourne, put up in a nice hotel and with some expenses paid. �I met some lovely people from other country areas, and lets just say there were some fun nights that got a little bit wild... karaoke until 3am did not make for keen minds the next day!

My social life has picked up. �My friends are just as great as ever, and I am dating so have made some friends through that too. �Its been my choice not to take the friendships any further... I just haven't felt that attraction yet. �I'm pretty confused still by the whole dating arena... its been a fun learning curve, but I'm not totally sure I belong in this modern dating world. �I feel a bit like I abide by a different set of values, and the friends I've made have even commented on my being different to other women. �Men who have been interested but not of good quality keep commenting that I put walls up or keep my distance... I giggle a bit at this. �It is their poor boundaries around women that have me running! �Aaah, I have some tales to tell. �Unfortunately, I haven't had internet connection so wasn't able to chime in on Indie's thread or anyone else's... I followed along quite a bit though, nodding my head in agreement with so much!

Finances are tight given my recent extravagant purchasing... but I'm proud at how I'm coping with it all on a single income. �I can do this... I was always good with money. �I've noticed some positive changes in myself over recent months, some new and some just the old me pre-A returning. �I just feel happy. �Not totally content... I would like to meet a partner to share life with and have children. �But I am back to laughing easily, smiling, chatty... people tell me I'm so bubbly. �I've also changed in that I am now more upfront when I am not happy with something. �I'll communicate more rather then ignore it. �Recently a manager was giving my team a dressing down, and I raised that I was disappointed we had not been given the opportunity to explain ourselves, and would like the opportunity to do so. �My colleagues thanked me after. �

Its a shame as I was hoping in my update I would not have to mention Gollum whatsoever. �However, there have been some Plan B cracks. �Gollum returned to Australia and is living in the same town as I since February. �Skank and OC in tow. �They are all living with his sister and her family. �The property settlement is ongoing, and I made a generous offer so that things could be finalised, however in March he refused to even consider this offer until I returned x, y and z... actually, he even threw in some fictional items that I never had. �Petty things... like a torch and a chess board. �After reading that I realised no amount of money was worth having even legal contact with him, so instructed my solicitor I was not going to reply and would just keep the property until the date settlement opportunities expires in case he reconsidered, and then dispose of it as I see fit. �I believed his tactics were a way of creating barriers so he would never have to pay me the money owed from joint assets. �

However, on Friday I received a phone call from police whilst I was at work. �He has reported me for theft. �I'm to be interviewed today. �I'm well aware that this is now the two year mark of his affair. �And that the police officer made a pointed comment that Gollum said he did not have my address or phone number so was unable to contact me to resolve this any other way. �Hmm. How about my solicitor stupid? �I can see this for what it is... Gollum is trying to get me to break my Plan B, thinking I'll react and contact him as I know 12 months ago I would have been tempted. �Now... I just hung up the phone and said to a friend "Why can't he just leave me in peace!" �Its shown me i no longer have any lovebank for him. Just frustration and a history. This morning I had the humiliating task of disclosing this allegation to my employer given the nature of my work. �Gollum knows this full well too, so it is a deliberate attempt to upset me. �But I realised something else... a happy man would not do this. �I suspect Gollum is still foggy as a wayward, but all is not rainbows and unicorns for him to take this action... there is not rational thought behind this.

Well, that's me in a nutshell at the moment. The latest blip is just that... a blip. I'm a bit anxious given the nature of it, but my solicitor has reassured me that nothing will come of it. I'm really wanting to post some pics of my home, but am typing this on my phone and don't know how to get the pics on my phone onto mb world... any suggestions?

Take care chickadees and I'll try and pop in more often... oh, and my nails are painted Rimmel's green with envy... seriously, it's a fab colour for winter

I haven't even read your response yet. I just saw you posted and was so happy to finally hear from you.

Don't let it be so long next time.

Now I'll go back and read.

I'm sorry brainy! And it's good to be back... I've missed you all and do still read along.

Howdy, Caracal! So thrilled to hear all about your new house. It is so much to get new digs, isn't it?

ugh ... about your silly XH. You are right, he must not be too happy if he is thinking of ways to do things to you.

Interview over... phew. Police are not pursuing this further and advised me that they will tell Gollum this is strictly a civil matter and there is no need for police involvement. He had led police to believe settlement had been finalised... more deception. I got the impression she was not too impressed with him when I explained he is aware of the issues this would cause me at work. She even apologised for the inconvenience! And the allegations... he reported me for theft of a ladder and some camping stuff. Silly wayward.

Admittedly I had a rant on the phone to my mum afterwards, but now it's back to life as I know and like it

Good for you

I'm so glad you're back on the boards.

Sorry you're still having to deal with crazy WH. I can't believe he move back to your town.

Are you going to try and do the 30 dates?

Thanks Brainy... but it's crazy WXH... the divorce being final has released me from his silliness.

The 30 dates... I thought it sounded wise, but initially couldn't imagine it taking that many men to find one that seemed like MB material that I was attracted to. However... I just met date number 14 on the weekend so I'm guessing I'm well on my way

And it's great to see you are still here cp.

So sorry, friend. I so meant WXH.

Will you start a dating thread and tell us of your adventures? You're almost 1/2 way there!

Wow Cara, so wonderful to hear that you are just busy living life and healing!

Great news on your home, putting your mark on it.

Uggh.....silly xWH........glad that is settled.

I agree with BH, please post your dating adventures......

hi cara! lovely to hear from you again, and WXH aside, sounds like things are going great! 14 dates, eh??

i saw a picture of a caracal; my goodness, they are gorgeous! it's how i imagine you IRL.

i am glad things are going well, and that you didn't forget about your MB friends i don't post often myself, but when i do get on, i always check friends' threads.

cheers.