Let's see if I can make this into a devotion about marriage and divorce.

Genesis 2:22-24
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

We know from the point of God that He intended for a man and woman to unite together. They were to be an independent unit away from the homes of their parents. They were to create a family and care for that family.

Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Jesus reiterated this message that man and woman would join together as one couple, as one body and as one of thoughts. Jesus tells us this is a covenant under God made between man and woman and they should not to break this covenant.

Marriage was not to be taken lightly and neither was divorce. Jesus said that God didn't intend for divorce, but allowed it under Mosaic law. The intent was marry, stay married and stay faithful to one another.

Matthew 18:7-9
�Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?� they asked. Jesus replied, �Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery�unless his wife has been unfaithful.

So again we see Jesus reaffirming the covenant of marriage. Hard hearts is why Moses mediated with God for divorce. Divorce was not in God's plan, neither were multiple marriages or multiple spouses. I know there are a few others in The Bible, but Job always comes to mind as the one faithful person who had one spouse and remained faithful to her even through all the pain and suffering he endured.

Hebrews 13:4-7
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

God intended marriage and sex to go together. Couples should be able to enjoy each other freely without sin. It bothers me when people try to make sex something dirty because it should be a lovely experience shared between two people who mutually agree on what they are doing. The reason I believe some families try to make it dirty is to prevent promiscuous behavior in their children, which is wrong. Honesty about subjects at a level appropriate for a child's age is always the best answer.

1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Again we see that sex within marriage is a good thing. For those who have a strong desire for sex that need can be fulfilled within marriage. I want to emphasize the part about mutual consent. Sex should be treated respectfully between each other, never making the other person an object to be used. We also find there are some who can be happy as a single person. There is nothing wrong with being single and is an honorable thing if one remains so. We also see the problems unlike beliefs can create between husband and wife and for their children. It is why it is so important a Christian person desires a Christian spouse. It's not that two people cannot be married and have different beliefs, but there will be issues that have to be resolved. The verse also reminds us of the importance of marriage to one another and that through one's faith in Christ an unbelieving spouse may also find Christ.

There was a question about remarrying when divorce occurs. I knew a couple that divorced over matters related to sex. They had two children and this is where I think a verse from Malachi is important. Malachi 2:16 from the NLT translation says, "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife." The wife was left with the children and the children also suffered because the father was not always there. Well several years passed and neither remarried. The wife became ill and needed help with the children. The husband who had been working on his issues moved back in to help with their kids. The husband slept separately from the wife for over a year, helping, caring and providing. The wife saw the change in her husband and decided she wanted to reconcile. They worked together through counseling and found the hope they looked for. They are happily remarried at this time. Praise God.

So I think as long as there is a possibility for reconciliation a Christian should hold out to see if remarrying might be a possibility. But once the other spouse has remarried that hope is gone and I see no issue with remarrying.

There are other reasons for divorce such as safety of the family. My mother divorced my father because he was an abusive alcoholic. His ways never changed. Had she remained married to him I believe the results could have been terrible. He tried to shoot her, tried to run her over with a car, tried to stab her, but fortunately he was always too drunk to succeed. For the safety of the family there are times when divorce is necessary. My father remained an alcoholic the rest of his life. I only saw him for 5 minutes when I was 10 years old and he was drunk and my mom told him to leave and that was the last time I saw him until I attended his funeral. My mom's mistake was in marrying someone who was not a Christian and who she did not know much about.

One final word on all of this. Divorce impacts live, especially if children are evolved. Divorce should never be taken lightly and marriage should be done with a thought of commitment. However,we should remember there is no sin that cannot be forgiven by God except for the rejection of the Holy Spirit, which means a person rejects God's salvation through Christ. So no matter what has taken place there is always forgiveness from God. God would like us all to live perfect and holy lives, but He knows we can't do it. So God gave us Jesus so that when we fail there is mercy and grace.

I'm sure others may want to comment and I always welcome another's opinion.

Ummmmmm.......that sounds more like limited supervised visitation......is that what your state considered supervised visitation? What about having the supervised viaitation done at a different location or at least have someone in the room to watch for appropriate/inappropriate comments.

I think she says it to frustrate me.
She specifically told the kids to have me text her.
Yet she knows That she was blocked from texting me and that I only communicate through a designated email address.

In the meantime I have been reading Buyers Renters Freeloaders and learned that we were both renters. I may have been a buyer. I would not leave the marriage due to religious reasons.

But she did leave at least 2 other times before her affair. And came back.
During the affair she downgraded to freeloader.

It's really a good book to read.

Is there a reason why she would be trying to communicate this through the kids?
Is she upset about limited contact?

My gut feeling is That she will be knocking on the door after her boyfriend beats her up. As I read the book, I wonder if she is trying to go back into a renter relationship with me and trying to use the kids for that.

Dr Harley explains that freeloaders have a dismal relationship future in life. And renters are full of strife but they get some needs met.
Her taker must remember the plan a where I kissed her cheating [censored] and desire that as her freeloader affair partner refuses to meet her needs.

Copy of email sent to visitation supervisor:

When I picked up my kids today they immediately asked me if mommy can spend Christmas with us.�
DS and DD both said that Ex ww told them to have me text her and it was my decision.�

I assume that this is a common issue in visitation and divorce/ custody issues.�

It is frustrating for me because I become portrayed as the bad daddy that won't let mommy come home for Christmas.�

Do you have any ideas on how we can ensure that my children are not used as messengers?