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Well I have court tomorrow. Pray for me and I hope WW sees the light I'm giving her to get out of the fog. This is hard but I believe I can do this and get my family back together!
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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TD. It isn't easy but knowing you are doing this for your family will give you strength on the day. I hope all goes well for you.
Me 46yrs WH 46yrs "Isildur" Married: 22yrs 8mths DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11 DD:26.11.11 WH moves to OW house 28.11.11 Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12 Plan B 27.4.12 D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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What is the court hearing for?
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"I just bought this juice from Walmart. It's cheaper than V8 but tastes the same. Do you want to try a glass? It's really good" ROFL, This just made my day! The fact that some of the POSOM's friend & collegues replied is a sign they were caught by surprise & the news is hurting them. They are going to check this with POSOM. Just wait & see.
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Can't sleep did some searching seems POSOM has an account on a sex website. Not sure what to do with this information took a pic of it with my phone for later use. No doubt now this guy is a frigging predator. Profile made in 2006 which would put it around the time of his daughters birth year meaning he was and still is cheating on his fianc�/baby mother. I'm so friggin angry right now! I can't believe I'm getting so much trouble from WW ITS BECAUSE she thinks he's a better man. Argh! Court hearing is for divorce and the order of protection. Going to try to sleep now.
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Me, BS: 35 WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess 6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011 "I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12 Divorce final 7/29/2013 Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children Personal Recovery well underway!
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Good luck and God bless you and your family in this ordeal. Let's hope justice is served.
BH (Me) 41 WW 41 S 7 D 3 Married 11 ILYBNILWY 8/12/12 DD 9/2/12
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Well the restraining order was extended and another court is set. OM called wife apparently upset that I emailed is co workers. I think it was a very angry conversation cause her tone was angry with me. "Why are you bringing other people into our marriage" I said that's why we are here now and told her politely to change the subject. We then talked about stepson coming home and she said she didn't have the money now. We also talked about her possible cancer and she has an appointment for it and wanted me to go with her. I took that as a positive sign and agreed because I am really concern about that. She had to go to work and I hung up. Dr H said I should plan a till divorce is final. Email is below:
Hi TD,
Your efforts to win your wife back are making love bank deposits, but you may have a way to go before you hit her romantic love threshold. Keep talking to her, and make sure you do some of the talking, too. Her affair is not a wise thing for her to do, but when someone is in the fog, it's hard to make that point without sounding disrespectful. All you can do is what you are doing, and even if she forces an end in your marriage, you will turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her. She may figure that out after the divorce is over. Many of the couples I've counseled have remarried after divorce. On the other hand, by that time you may come to the conclusion that she is the worst thing that ever happened to you, and her chances will be over. Either way, I think you will have greatly benefitted from what you have learned lately.
Best wishes, Dr. Harley
Last edited by TranquilDark; 12/05/12 06:03 PM.
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Keep it up. One way or another you will be a better man. I'll pray tonight that your WW comes out of the fog when I am praying for mine. Just keep your eye on the ball and the goal line. It's what gets me through the day.
BH (Me) 41 WW 41 S 7 D 3 Married 11 ILYBNILWY 8/12/12 DD 9/2/12
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OM called wife apparently upset that I emailed is co workers. I think it was a very angry conversation cause her tone was angry with me. "Why are you bringing other people into our marriage" I said that's why we are here now and told her politely to change the subject. We then talked about stepson coming home and she said she didn't have the money now. We also talked about her possible cancer and she has an appointment for it and wanted me to go with her. I took that as a positive sign and agreed because I am really concern about that. She had to go to work and I hung up. I am confused. Did OMW call YOU? or call your WW? If OMW is calling you and wanting you to go to Drs. appointments with her, that is really out of bounds...???
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POSOM called wife= WW. Sorry for the confusion. She might have cervical cancer. Asked me to go with her to the appointment.
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I did plan A until day of divorce. And you can plan A after divorce too. Dr Harley discussed this on yesterday's show and said that if a man tries to win a wife back he usually can (with patience).
Are you part of a good church? Reach out to them for support Find an elder or pastor to confide in
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Yes, I do that JK. Wife called she was furious. I was prepared though I kept calm and said we can talk but I'm not willing to argue. She was upset because she got reprimanded for the IG investigation. I told her calmly I have a program to rebuild our marriage and that I am sad that she has to go through thatext. She screamed to never text or talk to her ever again and that I want a divorce I got it. If I call her or text she will file for harrasment. I said I'm sorry to hear you feel that way. Then I told her goodbye. Followed with a text of what she said so I can have it in writing. I replied with the same mantra and that POSOM isn't worried about you and when she is calm she can call and talk about things. Also that I was done arguing.
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Geez, with that blowup I wonder what IG did to reprimand her. It must've been SEVERE. She deserved it of course, I just wonder what they did
Was this the second time she had been investigated? I forget.
Last edited by karmasrose; 12/06/12 07:16 PM.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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TD, typically the kind of reprimand that would be given in this case would be a no contact order. It might that your wife didn't mention that because she knew if she told you that you would report additional contact to the IG and then the REAL trouble begins.
I would call the IG tomorrow. They probably won't tell you what the reprimand was, but you can ask them if you see that contact has continued should you let them know. The military doesn't like it's direct orders disobeyed so they would probably tell you to indeed contact them if that occurred.
Wish MM or G were around to confirm this, but hey, a simple phone call can't hurt.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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That was me asking, not TD.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Oh I know, I started the post and then had to walk away for a few minutes.
I'm just thinking if she is this mad that it had to be a NC order, but didn't want to say it to him in hopes of him calling off the snooping dogs and not get caught disobeying a direct order.
Just a thought.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Oh, okay, I see what you mean.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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WW birthday is soon. Bought a nice gift and a card signed by me and DS. Asked if she could come by to talk after work. She agreed but we shall see. I can't shake the feeling the blow up was coached by POSOM. Granted she is an adult, the whole thing sounded fake and out of character. I seen her blow up before and this one over the phone sounded iffy oh well prolly just reading into things. God bless you all and thanks for the support.
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The bright side to this yelling is that she is moving from the state of withdrawal to the state of conflict
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