|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Thanx for the update Estrela. Please, get into a true Plan B, and if need be, change your IM if she is so unreliable. I am currently onto my 5th IM. As long as the communications can be handled through email, the person doesn't need to be anywhere near you geographically. THink on it.
And, as tempting as it may be, please don't use the children as go betweens for visitation changes. THis is a hole in Plan B.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
Hello BH and Caracal, Hello All, Thanks for checking on me. I've been here when I can, trying to keep updated with good (and not so good) news from everyone, and keep learning MB way. Happy to know that Caracal and Indie are moving so well into the world! Things are well with me. Still moving forward with D, which got stalled because of a health insurance situation with my stepdaughter. I went back and forth in my mind before deciding, but in the end thought it was ok and not such a big deal to hold D until stepdaughter has her operation in June (operation which my insurance approved but her mom's did not). Her mom did not ask me to wait, but I thought it was the right thing. I communicated to WH that I would wait but we will move forward with separation agreement and religious divorce and he agreed. On another note, I broke Plan B during Hurricane Sandy and its aftermath. The thing is I was away for work when it hit our area, and WH was with kids. I called and we were in touch during the storm and after. I was so worried. Thank God they were ok, just lost power for a week and then again during the snowstorm (but for this one I was here). When I came back, we kept e-mail communication, and once WH called and asked if I wanted to have dinner. I said no, and that was it. Things are getting more clear for me. I understand my feelings for WH, and his feelings for me, but see that he has not and is not willing to change anything (he even returned all my MB books, without reading of course) so D and moving forward after that will really be my best choice. I also noticed how communicating with WH affects me (although not nearly as much as before) and how Plan B protects my state of mind from random emotions. This week I will go back communicating through IM, who's been spotty since she is working so much now and sometimes I do use the kids to communicate changes on pick up or drop off times. Kids are fine, happy and healthy, and this is the most important. I am well also, working, exercising. I gained a bit of weight but on healthy food  (and chocolate) I only drop by once in a while to check on a few threads that weigh on my mind....yours being one..:) Glad to hear you are doing well.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
Just scheduled my religous divorce for next week... feeling so yucky... and sad too...
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Just scheduled my religous divorce for next week... feeling so yucky... and sad too... I am so sorry, estrela. While it is sad, I would have to say that divorce is the definition of success when a spouse refuses to end his affair. You are not legally divorced yet?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Just scheduled my religous divorce for next week... feeling so yucky... and sad too... (((e)))  Sorry for your pain. Is the legal D complete? What have you done for yourself? Self care? Pampering?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
I decided to wait to finalize legal D until my stepdaughter has her operation next year (she is under my health insurance and her mom's insurer did not approve the operation, and mine did). In the meantime, I will proceed with Separation Agreement and religious divorce. Everything will be already shared/decided by the time I file next year, so D should move quickly. So this is one of the steps... I've been taking care of myself with yoga, and some sea green color on my toes Also some nice quality time with kids. Gained some weight for too much chocolate pampering so back to diet now... Thanks for the support. My wedding anniversary is next week (12 years) and D almost to the date...
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
Hi estrela Can't you file and SD still have her operation? Health coverage wouldn't drop her until after D is final. You sound good.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Just scheduled my religous divorce for next week... feeling so yucky... and sad too... What denomination? I'm sorry that you had to divorce.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
BR - Hi! True, health coverage will stay till D is final, but if I file with the separation agreement, D could be as quick as a month or two.
So I decided to file right before the operation. I guess it leaves me in limbo for a while longer, though I feel I am making "progress" with religious D and agreement.
JK - we are jewish, so we can D according to jewish law (it is called get).
Last edited by estrela; 12/06/12 02:15 PM.
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
BR - Hi! True, health coverage will stay till D is final, but if I file with the separation agreement, D could be as quick as a month or two.
So I decided to file right before the operation. I guess it leaves me in limbo for a while longer, though I feel I am making "progress" with religious D and agreement.
JK - we are jewish, so we can D according to jewish law (it is called get). I am sorry your WH has caused this for your family....but there is life on the other side of Divorce. I wish you well. (((Hugs)))
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Good to hear from you, Estrela. It sounds like you're on track to be an amazing success story. And sea green, too!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Good to hear from you, Estrela. It sounds like you're on track to be an amazing success story. And sea green, too! DITTO
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
Thanks ladies! So grateful for this board to help me through this...
Good thing is that I won't have to see WH during religious D. The procedure can be done through an "agent", I guess it works like an IM.
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708 |
I thought a H had to directly hand the get to the W.....but.....cool that an agent can do it.
Then, once you have that and the legal divorce.....freedom into the future.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Estrela, it is nice to hear from you.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
Reading - as with (almost) everything else, the agent is available with an additional fee. It is done in the orthodox way, so it is bona fide. I guess it is like doing it by proxy. Will unfortunately find out next week. Scotty - nice to hear from you also. Hope all is well with you and your kids. I see you updated DS age also
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
236
guests, and
72
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,959
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
