Are you following her around and telling her to stop having her affair around you?

I am on antidepressants. I've been going to the gym for a long time. it's my only release. I'm the primary money maker. She has a part time job. We own our house in NY. This is the second time with her cheating on me. I've always been faithful. We have 3 kids. 19D,14D,7S. When she comes home from work. She goes on line and spends hours on FB farmville. when I said something about it she told me that it was here release. I've gotten her to stop doing it in the house. she'll go out to her van to talk to him or her friends. when she doesn't want me to hear.

Since you know OM from childhood you need to call his parents and expose and any siblings.

What do your children think of their mother's affair?

OM'S parents a dead and the rest of his family know and don't care. My kids at first (brfore I knew) were ok with it. My wife and I were fighting alot and I was driving a truck. I was gone weeks at a time. mainly over money. I went back to my old job and was home every night. They saw how much I was trying and acually started talking to me. They started to see how much damage her affair was doing to our family. The girls stopped talking to her because. When everything came out. She said she wanted to try and make it work. The girls caught her in many lies. She said that she broke contact but that never really happened.

Hes got custody of his daughter. Hes got nothing to lose

Have you told her parents and family?

Everyone knew including her mother. My MIL have always bumped heads my entire marriage.

So you are not willing to do anything? Nothing? You have an excuse for why you can't do anything. In that case, what in the world do you expect us to do for you? We can't FORCE you to get off your [censored] and do something.

If you will do nothing, then you are wasting our time here.

I've busting my tail trying to improve my relationship with my kids.thats been going great. I did try calling OM at one point. He won't answer. I've talked to my MIL. She tells me I need to work on it. THen she tells my wife leave me. I've done alot of snooping. So I know what she really thinks. My family tells me that I should throw her out. But my heart still loves her.I've been trying to improve myself. it's been a long tough road. you've asked questions and i've tried to answer them the best that I can.

I see we gave you all this same advice last JUNE and you didn't take it then either. Nothing we can do for you....

Really? I literally LOL when I read this. You mean the OM won't take your calls, so that's it? You fold? Dude, when are you going to man up and re-claim your wife from this dirt bag? Seriously? Come ON. Have you read none of the advice here? Yeah, we know you love her...blah blah blah. Now, go DO SOMETHING about it. Man up, and go get your wife back by following the plans laid out right here. You can do this.

The road to saving your marriage is unambiguous here. It's one that requires actions and you are not a man of action. If you choose not to take this chance to change your circumstance then there's no advice here for you.

All of us who have marriages that survived our partners infidelity grabbed the opportunity to make major changes to a bad situation. You are worming your way out of suggestion thrown at you.

Her behavior is unacceptable and strong glares and silent admonishment aren't working. There is no way she should be carrying on her affair under your roof.

You've done the good husband thing, now may time let her learn what life is like without you. I don't think you have the stones for that. Do you?

Mike, I understand what your saying. Everyone thiks that I haven't done anything. I've spoken to alot of people. Friends, family. Most of them knew what was going on. Some of them say that the two of us need to figure it out. Then I've got certain people that I thought were my friends that would tell me if I need to talk to them that they are there for me. These are not my real friends. I did alot of snooping. I have recordings of them encouraging my wife and trashing me. Now I have trust issues. One of them is even a family member. There is one person that would call me and pretend that they were there for me. Then I found out that they were the one to give my WW a second phone so she could hide what was going on. They were also telling my wife everything I would say and do. One of the problems that we had was. I was a yeller and it drained her love bank. Since I've stopped driving a truck and been home every night. I made a promise that I wouldn't yell anymore. I've kept that promise. My kids are happier and so is my wife. I've been reading the books and working hard with plan A. I'm trying not to create more tension then there has to be. She tries to hide it when she is in contact with him. But I'm ALWAYS watching. I can tell when it happens. Even when it happens outside the house. She works 10min from home but it takes an hour plus to get home.

Besides working on killing the affair with exposure you need to clean up your side of the street.

When you talk to these family members and friends about Your WW's affair are asking for their help to put pressure on her to stop her affair?

Have you eliminated your Angry Outbursts? What other Love busters have you committed?

I've been talking to anyone that would listen. When I spoke to her mother. I was told that I need to control my anger if i want to save my marriage. But I have recordings of my MIL to get out of dodge. this is only one of the reasons why I have trust issues. Even my wife has said that i've done a 180 with that but she thinks it's to late. My kids are getting pissed with her because she does even less at home than before. I'm the one that does most of the house work, shuttle the kids around cooking and trying to do all the special things that I know she likes. Even when I try and do the special things. I feel like I'm getting the YEA OK feeling from her.

Like I said in earlies posts. She asked me about having sex. Sex has always been great between us. Last night we did. I felt like I was trying to make love and she was just having sex. YES I do believe the is a diffence

Do your kids tell her about their frustrations?

Have you eliminated your AOs? Are you guilty of any other love busters?

I don't think you are doing yourself or your kids any favors. In fact, I think you are teaching your kids how to have disfunctional relationships by raising them in an incredibly disfunctional environment. If you can't bring yourself to Plan B for own sake, do it for your kids' sake.

Your kids need and deserve a stable, loving home. Your wife is like a cancer in your home. She does not have the right to ruin your life or your kids' lives. If you want to protect your kids from further harm, you need to get their out-of-control mother out of the house.

The kids have told her how they feel. They have told her that they feel she's not being a good mother and that they are a stronger influence on my youngest child. My wife says that she disagrees. I haven't had any AO's at all. I've been told the I'm to easy sometimes. As far as the affair goes. She tells my girls. The heart whats what it wants then walks away. The other thing that I feel terrible about is communication. there was a major breakdown there. I didn't do my job. There hasn't been any physical contact between WW and OM. It's all been through phone and video. I'm told thats how she fell in love with him because he listens. I've been working on that also.I try to spend as much time with her as possible. I have a recording of my wife telling one of her friends about me showing up where she works and surprising her with a night out to dinner. just the to of us, no kids. Her friend turned around and said that I was trying to control her.(her friend has alot or her own issues). All I was trying to do was be with my wife and make her happy. We went to her favorite resturant. I just wanted to spend time together. No strings attached.

I did tell her at one point. If your that unhappy move out. My girls tell me to kick her to the curb also. She told me that she's not moving out. I maybe being selfish but I don't want to be away from my kids. Especially my little guy. He's always by my side when I'm home.