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In a better note, trying to get a petition going to make the laws stronger for people that commit adultery. I'm going to try to push it for the whole United States but will be really pushing it for the state of South Carolina in which I live. Would any of you be willing to sign it when I get it out there. I sure would be happy to sign along with all my support group. Too bad the criminal charges are no longer enforced. The law of God is already strongly against it. Of the 10 crimes commited by mankind, God chose to include adultery as one of the worst. In America we have disowned God and as a nation have banned him from our schools and government buildings. People will ask, Why punish adulterers? 60% of marriages have an adulterer in them.
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Regarding transporting kids,
Some
Options I've seen are:
Use school as a pickup/ dropoff point
A public place like Kmart or a library parking lot.
Some counties have visitation and exchange centers
Some churches provide save places for drop off and supervised visits .
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If you belong to a church I would reach out to them for support and ask if someone can pick up and drop off the kids.
I never was able to get someone to be an effective IM. I tried plan b for a week and it didn't last so i cant offer advice in that area You are supposed to be in either plan a or plan b.
So if you are in plan b you need to get that plan b letter out ASAP. Just copy the one in the book.
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Another Update:
Made WW made last weekend because I wouldn't answer her text. I was trying not to read the text but accidentally open a program that showed it to me. This is what she wrote and I quote...
"Thanks for not answering. That's really mature and looks great for you."
I got a good chuckle out of that one. She is still not thinking straight.
Working on Plan B letter and don't think I can find another IM, really don't think anybody else would pick and take my kids back to her. What about if you ask them to be able to drop off and pick up kids at their place? The IM just needs to be a filter so you don't have to deal with her garbage. You really need an IM to protect you and let you heal. What about dropping off and picking up at your parents?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The problem is that my parents already pick up and drop off my boys for me but that I need to get along with her and drop off and pick up my kids myself.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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The problem is that my parents already pick up and drop off my boys for me but that I need to get along with her and drop off and pick up my kids myself. No you don't. Especially if you're in Plan B. You need to heal and not have any breaks. How is your plan B going?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The problem is that my parents already pick up and drop off my boys for me but that I need to get along with her and drop off and pick up my kids myself. The problem is that my parents already pick up and drop off my boys for me but that I need to get along with her and drop off and pick up my kids myself. No you don't. Especially if you're in Plan B. You need to heal and not have any breaks. How is your plan B going? You must maintain NC. Plan B has made some WW wake up and realize what they are missing and may wake them up to what they are losing and seek recovery. NC with you destroys the WW's delusions that you will be her friend and everyone will live happily ever after. Last you need to protect yourself from toxic WW as long as she is in her affair.
Last edited by TheRoad; 12/12/12 12:31 PM.
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I haven't talk, texted, or emailed her for about three months now. I haven't even seen her. The one thing I haven't done yet is sent a plan b letter, although this is what I have written so far.
Dear WW,
Right now I am working a program that is helping me recognize the Love Busters that I committed throughout our marriage. With this program I am learning how to eliminate these actions and learning how to make our marriage one that we will love and cherish for the rest of our lives.
I am writing this email to ask you would be willing to read a book with me and begin working the program also. I will buy another copy as I already have a copy.
I know I haven't been the greatest person over the last few months. I am praying that you understand why I have been the way that I have been. I am trying to change and not for a different relationship but for our relationship.
For our marriage to heal and become the marriage we both want then these are some of the things it will take from you.
Godly sorrow (not fleshly sorrow) (Godly: sorry that I ever had the A & did this to our family. Fleshly: sorry I hurt you)
Authentic repentance
Own your choices and the consequences they caused (to yourself, me, children, extended family, friends, etc.)
Apology for the A and your hurtful actions before and after
Apology to Kids for what has gone on
Attend church together again
No Contact Letter
Agree to work the program I talked about earlier
Complete radical honesty about our entire history together
20+ hours together weekly (by ourselves talking and doing activities that we both enthusiastically agree to)
Pray with me daily
Complete transparency(passwords to facebook and email accounts)
No Facebook or joint Facebook account
This is what I will do.
Own my choices and the consequences they caused (to yourself, me, children, extended family, friends, etc.)
Apology for all my hurtful actions before and after
Attend church together again
Work the program I talked about earlier
Complete radical honesty about our entire history together
Complete transparency(passwords to facebook and email accounts)
No Facebook or joint Facebook account
20+ hours together weekly (by ourselves talking and doing activities that we both enthusiastically agree to)
Pray with me daily
Look for another job so that I am able to spend the time with my family that I believe you deserve.
Defend you 100 % against anybody including my parents.
I believe God has allowed this to happen for a reason and I believe that reason is to allow us to improve our marriage. I am praying that your belief in God will allow you to see it in your heart to give our marriage another chance and allow our kids to have a stable family.
Love,
T2C
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Bump for advice on plan b letter.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Bump for advice on plan b letter. Have you seen these? Plan B letter samples
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I can read through them but other than that what do you think.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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I can read through them but other than that what do you think. I think your conditions are good, but you need to put something like this in there also. As soon as you are willing to permanently separate from Greg and are willing to follow the measures that were suggested to ensure total separation, I will be willing to discuss our future together. Also what about Your IM? Our friends Jane and Paul have agreed to help make arrangements for you to visit the children whenever you would like. But I will not be here when you visit.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Does anybody here know how long it would take to get an injunction to keep her from taking the kids out of state.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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I'm not sure, but do they also have passports? I would see about getting those pulled too, if they do.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Does anybody here know how long it would take to get an injunction to keep her from taking the kids out of state. You can visit the town hall in the city of thier residance and file charges for possession of your children. This will gum up the works so she cannot leagally take them out of state. But to be totally legal and keep the drama to a minimum, I would call my lawyer in the morning or get one to talk to then ASAP
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If I send an email to my mother for her to forward to my WW would that be breaking Plan B or is it acceptable under Plan B rules.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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You can call your mother your "IM" and then it would not be breaking the "rules" so to speak.
Just make sure your Mom is impartial and remains so, which might be hard..
Have you looked for an IM?(Intermediary) There are links on this site to help potential people be IMs, that can help
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What does your letter say? Post it here for advice. Is your mom your IM? Could you not find someone else that can remain impartial?? Send this to your mom. IM Training School
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 6,870
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Does anybody here know how long it would take to get an injunction to keep her from taking the kids out of state. You can visit the town hall in the city of thier residance and file charges for possession of your children. This will gum up the works so she cannot leagally take them out of state. But to be totally legal and keep the drama to a minimum, I would call my lawyer in the morning or get one to talk to then ASAP How is this going, do you have a lawyer or did you call one?
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