I agree the NESTING thing is moronic. All you will have managed to do is remove "the drag" on their relationship (YOU) by having him out of the house on a regular basis.

GO BACK TO YOUR WIFE BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE, THIS TIME WITH A LARGE WHITE SIGN WITH LARGE BLACK LETTERS, "YOUR HUSBAND IS SCREWING MY WIFE", AND PUT IT ON HER LAWN. AND YOU ARE HITTING THE PHONES TELLING HIS EMPLOYER TODAY, MORE FAMILY, AND YOUR KIDS.

Then stop by Home Depot and buy a new lock for the front and back doors. You then change the locks.

Your kids deserve to know their mother is actively destroying the family. Im sure they know already. And, they need to know what you are doing is trying and save the marriage and family.

You must not move out of your home. WW does not want to live with you she is the one to move out. The BH moving out only makes things easier for WW to carry on her affair. Does nothing to kill the affair. Hurts the BH if things go to divorce and CS and SS.

You must expose this affair to OM work, OM FB, WW FB, WW parents and siblings, your kids. These are all people that have the potential to bring pressure to end the affair.

Especially OM work. OM if he has a brain and that good of a job should drop your WW as a hot potato so save his job in this economy.

That might be a bit much Mike lol. BW doesn't deserve to be treated like that and BH can get into legal trouble with that stunt.

The "nesting" arrangement is stupid.

I agree with BR. But only about the part regarding actually setting foot on POSOM's property.

Imagine if the exercise I employed here, NG's Crazed Pressure Application, utilized a sheet saying "Your neighbor Mr Jones is cheating on his wife and children with MY wife!"

In my non-infidelity case, it took but two sessions to achieve my purpose.

The OMW rebuffed him when he went there the other day. If they are making him out to be the lunatic husband, well be a lunatic and hold a freaking sign.

It was her Dday...give the lady a break. OP should contact the BW again but I wouldn't blast her either...and possibly loose her help. She may come around. Acting like a lunatic isn't going to help BH.

I would make copies of all these things, include a brief letter referencing affair events/facts, who your wife is, your contact info, etc and deliver them in person to BW. Perhaps you can take a female along with you (or have a female friend/family member do the delivery while you wait in the car) so BW doesn't think you're some scary man showing up on her door. If BW doesn't open the door like last time but you know she is listening, tell her you are leaving an envelope for her on the doorstep. If BW wants to stick her head in the sand, that is on her but at least you made the effort. Continue the exposure.

Please read.

Men Do Not Leave Your Homes
"I Encourage BHs to Confront OM"

NLB --

You will greatly damage the effect of exposure if you WARN your wife that you're doing it.
She will go into damage control so fast your head will spin. We've seen false domestic violence charges, husbands getting restraining orders filed against them and getting kicked out of their own house, false allegations of child abuse......your wife is capable of huge amount of deceit and destruction that you would never have thought her capable of!

You are taking away her crack-pipe! She's going to react like a she-devil,

Don't pussyfoot it.
Do not warn her.

All - THANK YOU all VERY MUCH - the HARDEST was telling those 4 beuatiful innocent babies we have especially the younger ones.

But it is done - except for his wife since I have NOT been able to get her to open door. He is more upset with her - how freaking ironic!!!! She kept telling me there was NO sexual relations - LOL!

Mike - the sign might be the answer!

Kids know - done sad sad sad times especially before this wonderful children's holiday
My family and hers including her parents KNOW the truth her MOm devastated - done
Her manager and co-workers and upper management - done
His manager - done
All my friends and all the neighbors KNOW the truth - done

She is painting me out to be angry and yes a lunatic but I have all the proof ... and if needed be show them all.

Also I am new so not sure of all the abbreviations ... can I get a decoder lesson?

Good job!! Did you also end this destructive "nesting" ploy?

Not yet ... she is BEYOND mad, pissed off etc. But yes i read that part of replies and I will be packing up and coming in and saying "Honey I'm home"

Acroynoms and Abbreviations

Will you be doing this today?

Her being mad is actually a good sign ... you know you hit your target.

BR's suggestion of a letter under the door or even certified mail is a good idea. It's not easy to face your spouse's infidelity a etter with copies of evidence she can look at after the intital shock may help. Armed with the knowledge she can choose whether to fight for her marriage or deny the A.

Glad to hear your moving home and ending the nesting. This may be beneficial in other cirumstances but NOT when there is an A.

When you go home, you are likely to be presented with a banshee who has basically gone "[censored]" crazy about your actions. She will probably do everything possible to bait you into returning her anger. YOU CANNOT DO IT, unless you REALLY like the look of police-issued matching bracelets. (Trust me - they do nothing for your ensemble!) Instead, smile, be pleasant, and keep repeating this phrase until your gums and her ears start to bleed:

Dear, I did what I had to do in an effort to save our marriage.

Is having a VAR allowed in your state? If so you should probably have one...some angry WWs like false DV allegations.

It's not illegal to use a VAR in your own home, or even a nanny cam. Think about how many people have been prosecuted with visual evidence for abuse of children because of these devices. It's splashed on the news everyday.

The conundrum is recording telephone conversations, and that is a state by state mandate. It gets even more interesting (and complicated) when you have one state that says no to 2 party recording without prior approval for all being recorded, while the other state says no approval is needed from both parties.

I have security cams where I live (or where I used to live). They are very much admissible in a court of law as evidence. If I were to have a VAR in my home, and if it recorded a burglary and names were mentioned, that would be admissible as well.

No worries about the legalities of this. After all, it IS your home.

Now whether or not it would be admissible in a court of law as evidence in the event of adultery, that's a whole other cat to skin. I imagine it would be in fault states, but no-fault states, who knows.

Best guess on the last paragraph.

ETA: I would never place recording devices on a home phone without consulting an atty first.

I know that some states do not permit them used unless both parties know they are being used, or sometimes they let you record if one person (that is, you) knows that recordings are being made.