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Your nuclear exposure should begin TODAY, my friend. Here is the outline of the note to go to everybody in your families; your wife's friends, acquaintances, and clergy; and ESPECIALLY your wife's coworkers:
By now you might know I have been served divorce papers by
WW. It is important to me, and to my children, that you know
the reasons. On (date) and (date) WW spent three hours in
(Name) Motel, being serviced by her new gigolo, (Name), a
coworker. This all took place while I was working at (locale)
trying to provide for my family's needs.
If you have any leverage on WW, I would ask you to contact her
at 111-222-3333 and ask her to return to our marriage. Tell
her that you will never accept (Name) into your circle of
friends.
I plan to fight WW's actions in court, including subpoenaing
both WW and (Name) to explain their actions in open court.
I wish I did not have to provide this sad information, but
having WW spin her dishonest tale of what has happened is
intolerable.
There are on this site specific letters that should be sent to WW's supervisors and company officers. Send those as well.
When hit with the awful blow of infidelity, the BH often reacts by withdrawing and trying to "make nice". The experience here is that an aggressive ATTACK on the affair and the lifestyle supporting it are much more effective.
(And dude, you should WANT, not fear, her being fired.)
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I live in PA which is not a no-fault state - however I understand that the adultery is extremely difficult to prove.
Me: BS - 55
Her: ex W - 50
Together 25 years Married 1990
DD 10/16/2012
DS 24&20
DD - 17
Currently in Plan B
Divorce Papers Filed 11/29/2012
Final Divorce hearing June 2013
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Talking with the therapist helped, but she was guiding me in the direction of acceptance, even suggested that I seemed desparate in wanting to save my marriage. Southpaw. Trying to save a marriage with a 24 year history and three kids (at least one still at home) is NOT desperate. It would admirable for you to fight to keep it together. I think your therapist is wayward herself. 
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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I found out who the AP is , the temp who works there and stays at the motel 4 days a week. Oh I would definitely hire a PI.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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I live in PA which is not a no-fault state - however I understand that the adultery is extremely difficult to prove. Naw, it's not difficult at all. If you hired a PI to go over there you could have the evidence you need real quick. And if you countersue on the grounds of adultery, your atty will subpeona the records of the OM and your wife so you will GET all the evidence you need. The OM will be dragged into court to sworn testimony under oath about his affair with your wife. But I predict it will never come to that because once you expose and countersue on grounds of adultery, the OM will run like the coward he is. Your goal is to cause as much trouble as possible in the affair. Expose it wide and far, confront that POS, and countersue on grounds of adultery. You might be able to save your marriage. And you almost certainly will be able to run that POS off!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Southpaw,
Your marriage might survive WW losing her job, it will never survive a continuing affair.
I think research may turn up that OM is 5 years behind in child support, has 30K of credit card debit, and beat his ex-wife. Just the kind of sub-human who makes seducing and ripping off women a profession.
God Bless
Gamma
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See if you getmy logic here -
She passworded me out of her FB page at the end of August - I did not pay much attention to it at the time.
In October, when I did the gps tracking, and found out something was going on, she tells me nothing, I am then trying to solve the 1000 piece jig saw puzzle with half the pieces missing, and no picture on the box ! ( don't give me credit for that as I read that somewhere else)
I remember the FB page, so I access her friend list through my son's account. When I rule out relatives and friends she has known for years, I came up with the Temporay worker that she works with - then things make sense. Can I prove it 100% - no
Me: BS - 55
Her: ex W - 50
Together 25 years Married 1990
DD 10/16/2012
DS 24&20
DD - 17
Currently in Plan B
Divorce Papers Filed 11/29/2012
Final Divorce hearing June 2013
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Posts: 97
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Gamma - do you know a good background check service ?
Me: BS - 55
Her: ex W - 50
Together 25 years Married 1990
DD 10/16/2012
DS 24&20
DD - 17
Currently in Plan B
Divorce Papers Filed 11/29/2012
Final Divorce hearing June 2013
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I remember the FB page, so I access her friend list through my son's account. When I rule out relatives and friends she has known for years, I came up with the Temporay worker that she works with - then things make sense. Can I prove it 100% - no You need to be a little more proactive here. It should take you no more than 48 hours to find out WHO. This is not a guessing game. Either hire a PI or follow her for a couple of days and find out for sure.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Did you check her email? Her cell phone bill? What have you actually DONE to get evidence of the affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gamma - do you know a good background check service ? You need to find out WHO and get evidence of the affair. THEN you can do a background check.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody - Verified without any doubt, she spent time in the Motel.
She takes her cell phone and laptop everywhere, never leaving them unattended.
Me: BS - 55
Her: ex W - 50
Together 25 years Married 1990
DD 10/16/2012
DS 24&20
DD - 17
Currently in Plan B
Divorce Papers Filed 11/29/2012
Final Divorce hearing June 2013
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 97
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 97 |
Me: BS - 55
Her: ex W - 50
Together 25 years Married 1990
DD 10/16/2012
DS 24&20
DD - 17
Currently in Plan B
Divorce Papers Filed 11/29/2012
Final Divorce hearing June 2013
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Melody - Verified without any doubt, she spent time in the Motel.
She takes her cell phone and laptop everywhere, never leaving them unattended. Do you have access to her cell phone bill? What about access to her laptop? Does she bring it in the house? What about her cell phone? What can you do to get evidence of the affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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When I rule out relatives and friends she has known for years, I came up with the Temporay worker that she works with - then things make sense. Can I prove it 100% - no I think you have the right suspect and that a PI will give you solid evidence pretty quickly. MelodyLane has given you amazing advice about how to use facts and the legal system against this scuzzbucket. If you read her Exposure thread there is even tips how to sneak around FB to reaccess pages you can't see.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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But you said above this was a big guess based on her facebook friends list.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Its still possible, though unlikely she is visiting the motel with someone other than your suspect. Get the evidence!
Since you are in the home, put keyloggers on PCs, get voice recorders in place, go the whole nine yards till you get the evidence you need to protect your family.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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SP, you need to get more creative and more proactive. It doesn't take this long to get evidence of an affair along with concrete evidence of the identity of the affair partner.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Based on that plus he is the only person she works with who stays at the motel, plus the parking lot observation where his car was parked next to hers at work, and at night, his car is parked at the motel.
Me: BS - 55
Her: ex W - 50
Together 25 years Married 1990
DD 10/16/2012
DS 24&20
DD - 17
Currently in Plan B
Divorce Papers Filed 11/29/2012
Final Divorce hearing June 2013
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Based on that plus he is the only person she works with who stays at the motel, plus the parking lot observation where his car was parked next to hers at work, and at night, his car is parked at the motel. So why aren't you staking out the hotel with a camera? OR hiring a PI to do that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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