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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
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OP
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
Ds does want to continue it like it is. That is part of what keeps wxh from pursuing court. But if he feels backed into a corner or if he feels dismissed he will react. And if he gets this in front of a judge he WILL get more time regardless of what ds says. . he gets very little now. And he lost his mid week visitation when we moved. Thanks for explaining. Best wishes for the coming new year. Thank you! Dh is better now and we are looking forward to getting our life back on track. I am hopeful that new ones in a dark place can see that life will get better.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Have you heard this? I found an excellent radio clip from Dr. Harley, of why it's a good idea to go into Plan B after divorce. Radio clip on Plan B after Divorce at 5:25 mark
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
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OP
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
Yes I have. Nice for those that can do it. I definitely see the benefit of limiting contact.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
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OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
I had an enraging text conversation with wxh Tuesday of this week. He sucks me into conversation with questions about my childhood friends. seems rude and petty to not answere but it so often turns into his opportunity to bash me in so e way.
So it fueled my desire to severely restrict contact with him. Going back to the advise of 5 words or less.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
I had an enraging text conversation with wxh Tuesday of this week. He sucks me into conversation with questions about my childhood friends. seems rude and petty to not answere but it so often turns into his opportunity to bash me in so e way.
So it fueled my desire to severely restrict contact with him. Going back to the advise of 5 words or less. He will always continue to do this, as long as you remain to have contact with him. Have you ever thought of having a secret IM?
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
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OP
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
As long as I drop off and pick up my ds12 there will be some contact. We live 2 hours apart now.
It is a flip I have to switch in my own mind...that communication beyond the absolute necessary is toxic to me because he is not safe for me. I feel much better after reminding myself of this. I got so much support and encouragement and advice in this thread 2-3 years ago. It was really a lifesaver then and now.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
As long as I drop off and pick up my ds12 there will be some contact. We live 2 hours apart now.
It is a flip I have to switch in my own mind...that communication beyond the absolute necessary is toxic to me because he is not safe for me. I feel much better after reminding myself of this. I got so much support and encouragement and advice in this thread 2-3 years ago. It was really a lifesaver then and now. Your DsS12 is old enough to have all the contact with his dad. Why do you have to have contact with your EX at all? Isn't your DS12 old enough to go into the car/house by himself at drop offs? I'm confused as to why you have to have any contact at all with WXH?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
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OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
The 'contact' is minimal. Yes, ds gets out of the car by himself. I don't get out at all. Often I am waiting for WXH so naturally I see him as ds gets out of the car.
As I said, it is minimal...I just need to work on the switch in my head where I don't respond to texts that do not require a response. Ignoring anything that does not pertain to ds works great. Ds has his own phone and WXH contacts him that way. Ds is very bad to not respond to people...but that is WXH's problem.
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