I been married for 4 years. I am the soul provider. My spouse hasn't work for no longer than year. He doesn't really pitch in things. He has major anger issues. He has a tendency to break things when he is mad. He can be critical sometimes and hurtful, but than he can be nice and sweet. He has a tendency to do his own thing and I do mine. I did a lot of stuff for him, but i got tired and stop doing stuff for him. He start to do stuff for me, and then he would stop after I pick up the slack again. He shove me off the bed, because I wasn't listen to what he said. After that I told him we need to get help. He refuse at first and told me that I am wasting my time. He broke my dresser drawer because we were fighting and i told him its over. That was 2 months ago. That is when he started to care about our relationship. He start caring about things being the perfect husband. He tries to listen, but has tendency to leave when the conversation gets hard or frustrating. I know i not perfect and I pressure him into a lot things, because I wanted to do the right thing for our marriage. But when he broke my dresser drawer, bc i was yelling at him. I realize that I can't trust him and I don't want to live like that. He is trying really hard to convince me has change, but i don't want to see it for some reason. I just want to move on. I went to the lawyer to file, because convince that his change won't last. I want to know if i am doing the right thing, or should i stick it out longer.

I agree you are doing the right thing. Your husband is an abuser and is only there to reap the benefits of your financial support.

Will he move out? Has he got a job yet?

Do you have any children?

Well we are in separation right now. No Children. He is staying with his parents. He doesn't have job yet, but is looking for one. So he saids. He said he had an interview last week, but he thinks the job is a long shot. He was suppose to go in the military, but they keep pushing his interview back all the time. He is also suppose to back with the contractor, but they keep delay his start date as well.

I gave him a 6 month deadline before i kick him out. He refuse to find any job, and said he didn't want to be distract from his military goal. That was to start something in October, but it never happen. He did though lose 50 lbs, but still for him to do something.

I would stay separated until he meets some conditions.

1) get into an anger management program
2) get a job

Please read.
What to do with an Angry Husband

He hasn't start anger management. He said he will but hasn't. He always waits for things to get so bad, before he does anything. I tell him things are over several times, but he still hasn't to do anything. He tells me that I need to give him more time, but I think i have give him enough time.

I wouldn't touch him with a 10' pole unless and until he corrects his anger problem AND gets a job. Until that happens, he needs to be with hims mommy until he grows up.

Exactly, like I said earlier.

Two conditions have to be met before you should even consider on moving back together.

1) get into anger mgmt
2) get a job

Okay sounds good. So you guys don't think I am wrong in wanting the divorce and not wait for him to decide to go.

I think you are RIGHT to get the divorce because I don't believe he will change. If he does, you can reconsider and always remarry him. But you have given him more than enough opportunities to change.

You have a big time abusive freeloader on your hands. Like Mel said, you are right to divorce him. If he changes, you can always remarry him, but only IF he makes the necessary changes. Otherwise if you stay, he will financially and emotionally drain you.