In 2009 i was hit with Breast Cancer. In 2006, MS. While undergoing chemo, my husband of 12 yrs decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He stopped talking to me, moved out of our bedroom, and he was angry all the time. I wanted to leave, but my boys were really small, and I couldn't care for me at them and get better. Then a woman sent panties to my house. Anyway I tried to stay, but what kind of man leaves his wife to fight the battle alone. He agreed to a separation, but the moment I left, he wanted a divorce. So I'm giving him one. He didn't love me when i needed him the most. Am I crazy for wanting out? My boys only get one mom!

There are ways to fight affairs and recover marriages.

All you have to do is ask how to fight and you will have some of the best affair fighters in your corner?

So far you have vented.

What do you want to do?

I know now the MS, the Cancer, going blind for a short period were wake up calls, that he was not the husband God intended for me. He didn't love me as a friend. He didn't love me as the mother of his children. He once said.. "you ain't [censored], with your fat [censored]." He told me I didn't smell good. He told me sex wasnt ever good. He told me I have the children so he should get the house. What would I be fighting for? I took my children and left. I want to learn how not to feel guilty for finally standing up for myself. I want to learn how to fight for my dignity. I want my freedom. I can't wait around for him to bail again. He will..its just a matter of time.

Yes trayann, you can choose to divorce him and not look back.
You have that 'free pass' to not waste another moment on him.

You are fighting enough for your health.

Welcome to MB Tryannn. I am sorry for the pain that has brought you here.

Whether you decide to end your M or fight the A and try to rebuild your M the choice is yours. You will receive support no matter what you decide.

The MB plans give you the chance for personal recovery from an emotionally traumatic experience. Once you begin to heal and move forward with your life you will be in a stronger position to follow any decision you make.

Have you read the thread "Start Here First - Welcome Aboard" at the top of SAA forum. This has alot of useful information.

WS rewrite the history of their marriage and denigrate their spouse to justify their A. They display anger towards the BS and often say and do thing to provoke the BS so they can justify the A "BS is so mean" BS is ...." It's painful to hear but try to ignore the fogbabble.

It is appalling that your WH had an A whilst you were fighting cancer, unfortunately it happens too often. You need to focus on your health, taking care of yourself and your children.

If you could provide some extra information we can help you.

Do you know who the OW is?

Does OW work with him, if not do you know how they met?

Is she married?

Have you exposed the A?

How old are your boys, do they know about the A?

From what I know now, the other women:

-One he met on a trip to visit a friend. She is the one who mailed her used thong underwear to my house, with picture of her children.. caption on back of pick. "To Mr., from Mrs. lol!"

-One is the mother of one of my children's classmates. He met her at our boys football game, it was during the time I was undergoing treatment, and he wasnt even talking to me. When the children and I moved out in June, he "accidently" ran into her at the movies with her children. And now they have playdates? She was in my house for thanksgiving 2012, and he my children didn't even know her name. He told my boys, that wasnt his girlfriend, not to tell me, cause i would think it was? Why would you tell my children such things?

- lastly, one was a tenant in a building we used to own,
but they were all on facebook together.


I'm 46, kids, 9 and 11.
He's 49.

Do you want to D? No one would fault you. Even Dr. H says infidelity is the "one time get out of M card"'.

I encourage you to contact an attorney.
You need to ensure that you have the means to care for yourself and your children