You wrote, "We met once only for dinner. NO SEX AT ALL.I thought of my BH the enter night" but later admitted "There was one kiss, but not passionate, no phone sex" and then reiterated "I have never had sex with any one but my Bh in 21 years of our marriage." I don't understand why are you so adamant about denying sexual intercourse. In addition to that kiss, did you have other sexual contact with OM?

I am adamant about no sexual intercourse because you wrote as if my children are not my BH.

No there was no sexual contact with the OM other than that kiss goodbye.

I'm not the commenter who suggested a paternity test. Regardless, you made a big point of denying sex in your initial post, so your sensitivity regarding that topic was apparent from the outset. Other than one kiss, are you sure there was no physical contact during the entire 2.5 yr affair?

Sorry about my reply and you not being the commenter. This is the first time I've ever used a message board of any kind.

Yes I'm sure the OM lives thousands of miles away. We only met that one time.

No problem! Did the OM talk about sex via emails, instant messages, or texts? I'm wondering if your husband keeps discussing the affair because he suspects that sort of thing occurred but you haven't admitted to it.

I have admitted that the OM and I talked about past sex that we had when we were young when we talked on the phone. We never texted anything about sex. Most of the time we talked about everyday things with kids and our BS's
When we met we did not talk about sex. The night before I met him he did ask if I could spend the night.I have admitted that I thought about it but was feeling so guilty and Like I was going to Hell. I was Freaking out!

After you had dinner with him, where did you go?

Will your BH come here and post?

This is what happened I told my Bh that I was meeting some girl friends in a city about 45mins. to an hour away from my house. I drove to this city then got dressed to meet the OM. I met OM about a half hour to 40 mins. later. I drove around for a little while because I was freaking out. I met OM in the lobby of his hotel we hugged hello I had not seen OM in 30 years. We talked in lobby about an hour then we went up to his suite, He showed me pics of some old friends, his family, his wife and kids. He called for a car to pick us up while I was in the lady's room. We went down to the lobby and waited for the car pick up. The car drive took about 10mins. We then waited a little for our table. Dinner took about an hour and half. I could not eat very much. After dinner we had to wait for the car pick up. Then we went back up to his suite I went to the Lady's room he called for my car credit for parking. He walked me to my car and we kissed goodbye. I felt very strange to be alone with a man that was not my husband I felt very uncomfortable. I felt and feel guilty about the whole thing. I lied to the man I promised to love and honor. I was not living a christian life I was living a double life.

Will your BH come here and post?

He is reading all the posts. He might post I can not say for sure.

Have you asked him what he needs from you to feel safe in your M?

Have you given him just compensation?
Can't We Just Forgive and Forget? #1

MrTrueform, time to man up, join, start your own thread. There are so many people here that have been down this road before you waiting and willing to help you.

In 2 different posts, you made a point of saying that you have never used an internet discussion board or chat room. However, you initially posted that your husband discovered your affair after seeing your conversations with OM on a website. What website?

I'm with you Jessica 2 year EA and no sexual contact that is EXTREMELY hard to believe. TF have you offered to take a polygraph?

Where did you change your clothes before dinner and after dinner? Also, you described the evening in detail--including time estimates for each activity--except for the time periods when you were in OM's hotel room. You seemed to gloss over those periods, but mentioned that you used the restroom each time. Did you gloss over those time periods because your husband is reading this thread?

Trickle truth will not help you, TF. By hiding information and "protecting your spouse" will devastate him more than coming clean. Dr. Harley states that WS do this because they are afraid the BS will leave them. He has the right to divorce or reconcile when he has the whole story. If he chose recovery and later finds out you had SF with POSOM he will be angry and leave. Also, this POSOM had the nerve to show you pictures of his wife and kids? (Vomit).

What an awesome guy! Have this affair been exposed to said wife and kids?! If not it should and be done this weekend. I willing to put my savings that your not the first one and that poor wife needs to know of her husbands predatory behavior. It might of been magical for you but to POSOM you were an easy score. Two adults don't go to hotel rooms after talking about past sexual encounters to go scrapbooking. I am sure your BH feels the same way that's why he's not willing to stop talking about it. He feels your lying and not buying that lame story. As far as FB goes its not for you to contact him its for him trying to contact you! DELETE IT! All other social media as well. Right now your shown you have poor boundaries! What if another old flame contacts you for dinner?! Your BH, who doesn't trust you with just reason, is supposed believe your going to resist temptation?

Regarding disclosing the affair to your husband, you wrote, "I took so long to get everything out." Your trickle-truth approach seems to be a big part of the problem. Even on this thread, your disclosures have been trickling. First, you told us that it was strictly an emotional affair and you only went out to dinner with OM. Then you admitted that you kissed the OM and went to his hotel room before and after dinner, but you seemed to gloss over what happened each time you were in his hotel room. You also said that you never had phone sex with OM, but later admitted that you did discuss sex with OM on the phone. It seems like you are splitting hairs and glossing over critical periods of time in order to conceal information.

I changed my clothes in a department store near the hotel. I did not change my clothes after dinner.
The Om and I were in his hotel room before dinner for about 15 to 20 mins. Then after dinner 10mins tops.
No,I did not gloss over the time periods, I have talked about this with my BH many times.

Then go take a polygraph.. I'm not your husband, but I don't believe you.. This would be the best way to reassure him that you are telling the truth. There are threads on here to help your husband figure out what questions he needs to ask. Doing the polygraph should take care of it once and for all.