I need help on what to do next.

2 years ago I discovered my wife of 15 years had reconnected with her college boyfriend and carried on a secret correspondence for 7 months before I found out. When confronted she explained that she had fallen in love with him. She didn�t want to break it off with him, although he lives 1000 miles away. Also, they met in person (hotels) while I was out of town a few times. I asked her to stop communicating with him and work on repairing our relationship. She refused. After two months I told her she needed to stop contacting him or I would expose the affair. She agreed, but later I found out that she had continued to contact him for several more months, begging him to move to our city. Ultimately he said the timing was wrong and she broke it off.

For about a year I thought things were going along well. Her former boyfriend got married about 6 months ago. Then two months ago she started acting strange. Sending lots of emails and withdrawing.

I found out she was once again corresponding with the now married boyfriend, who she still loves. I called him and told him he had to choose between me telling his new wife about the affair or ending all contact with my wife. He chose to end contact with my wife. She, however, is angry. She said she doesn�t want work on our relationship because she believes you have to feel something to start. While she believes she loves me, our kids and our memories, she isn�t in love with me.

She said she would cry after sex because she didn�t feel anything. She says all my efforts at romance over the past year just make her angry and she wants me to stop. She said I can divorce her but that we can�t afford it and our kids need both of us, so we should stay married, but have more time for our own interests. She will not commit to not contacting her boyfriend again. She wants space to do her own things and I should do my own things too. She said lots of marriages are like this, so I should just accept it.

I remain hopeful because she wants to remain married, which means I can continue to work on her heart. However, am I deceiving myself? What should I do to rekindle our love if she doesn�t want me to? How long should I try until I give up?

Thank you

You need to expose this affair immediately.
Don't tell her you are going to expose. Just do it!

WW,

Since OM is complicit in your WWs affair and continues to be, gather all the evidence you have, and expose first to his W and then all his facebook contact and family.

DO NOT WARN or THREATEN, expose quickly and completely, they will try to paint you as a crazy jealous husband if you let them know, do not give away the first move.

God Bless
Gamma

Here.
Read this link.
Start by reading Exposure 101
Then read Surviving Infidelity.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2695379#Post2695379

Your wife wants to remain married because she wants to eat cake. It has nothing to do with you. Expose her and kill the affair. It's the only chance you have.

I also suggest you buy a copy of Surviving an Affair and Lovebusters by Dr. Harley. Follow that exposure advice as well!

Your wife is acting like a child. Wahh wahh wahh. I want this, I want that.

Here's how you end that in a freaking hurry: you get the wife of the animal who was doing your wife all year on the phone and you tell her that before and after her marriage, her husband was having sexual intercourse with your wife.

Next, you lay out to your wife a list of things you will require for her to have the privilege of staying married to you despite her egregious efforts to destroy it. These things you require include but are not limited to: complete and utter transparency in her travel outside of your presence, passwords to all email accts and facebook and etc are to be turned over to you, and you can add anything that you feel made your marriage crappy that needs to be changed.

A gentlemen named NeverGuessed will stop by soon and will give you his Betrayed Husband's Survival Toolkit. Learn it and live it.

Come back here often, brother, you are not alone.

NEVERGUESSED'S BETRAYED HUSBAND SURVIVAL KIT

1 - KEEP ALL THESE ARRANGEMENTS SECRET FROM YOUR WAYWARD WIFE!
2 � Put a keylogger on any computer you can access that she might use.
3 � Put a spy program on any cell that she might use. ("Eblaster" can cover #4 as well.)
4 � Put a GPS on her car, reporting to your computer.
5 � Put a VAR in her car, and in any room she might use to take "personal" calls
6 � Get a mini-audio-recorder, and have it in your possession and "on" whenever in her presence.
7 � Put together an e-address list of anyone who might have influence on her � parents, siblings (sisters, especially), coworkers, college friends, clergy, hairdresser, anyone.
8 � Put together a similar list for the POSOM.
WHEN YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE,
9 � Put together the electronic evidence for each AP.
10 - Write a cover note for your wife's contacts, to the tune of: "I must unhappily inform you that my wife, XXXXXX, is carrying on an illicit affair with YYYYYY. I am hoping to recover our marriage, and ask if you have any influence over her, to urge her to abandon her cheating lifestyle and return to me and our family. Her cell number is 111-222-3333"
11 � Write a similar note to POSOM's contacts.
12 � Send out both packages, to all contacts at one time.
13 � Brace yourself.

A gentlemen(?) named NeverGuessed will stop by...

Really? Thanx, MSS!