His family and hers believe I need to let her go so she can be happy...They ask why I would want to stay with someone who has wronged me so much.

EDIT

As far as urging you to "let her go so she can be happy", my suggestion is you "let her go" with the same attitude you "let go" some dog feces you've stepped into.

Barkeep, it's after 5pm somewhere in the world! Bourbon!

Even if you don't want to reconcile you should still expose! Not for revenge but because its the truth! Think about your children what are they learning through your lack of action and her infidelity?! I was like you but then I saw the light. She is happy maybe but your happiness shouldn't be sacrificed for hers. Trust me she isn't happy she just going through the motions that's all.

I just called and she's over with POSOM.

She can either come home and do what she knows is right and good.

Or she can get out and rut around at will.

I'm better than this.

Expose. Now.

Wowser. You DO deserve better than this. Everyone here has been telling you that, and you are the ONLY ONE who doesn't seem to believe it.

You need to stop listening to the wayward alien living in your house. She is no 'friend' to you and she is not 'opening up' to you. She is in a full on affair, addicted to her drug, rewriting history to make sure you think it is all your fault! She is withdrawn BECAUSE OF HER AFFAIR. And you are just enabling this, with the premise that enabling an addiction, and the withdraw that is its consequence, is going to SAVE your family? That doesn't even make rational sense.

You are doing everything wrong here, my friend. You are listening to the advice and opinion of an addicted wayward, familes that don't support your marriage, and your own family who has never saved a marriage, have they? Instead of taking the advice of Dr Harley himself, who has saved marriages wrought from infidelity for over 30 years, and the many people on these boards that have recovered their marriages because of this program.

You do deserve better. But you will get no more than you ask for yourself.

Apparently, you're not. If you were better than that, you would stop making empty threats. If you were better than that, you would protect your kids from their mother's destructive decisions and emotional abuse.

You can no longer use ignorance as an excuse for inaction. You know how to put an end to her affair, but you refuse. You are so afraid of your wife that you are letting her destroy your children's home. I hope you can afford all the counseling sessions your kids are going to need...

My parents have recovered from an affair and so has my brother. They all chose to do it because of their children and because a whole close family is the most important asset a person can have. This is why I want to repair my marriage. I don't like the choices she's made, I don't like the person she is being, and she is hurting me and my children. If the fog were lifted she might see reason.

I fear to expose because I believe we will enter a custody battle and I can't subject my children to living in her environment if I lose. I would rather kick her out of the house so I don't have to watch and the tension can be lifted.

So she's over the POSOM? but, let me guess not sure about you? Doesn't know if she will ever like/love you.

She is stringing you along because you just rock the boat barely enough to make her queazy. You need to really step it up right now. Expose to everyone and wake her up.

It may take changing the divorce papers to say full physical custody to wake her up. What she says today seems to have no conviction.

She is telling you her life is getting bumpy, step it up and really wake her up to her actions and SHOW everyone you mean business.
She needs to be knocked off that fence.
dan

WW played you like a door mat and got you to stop exposing.

Get back on the horse and finish exposing.

WW didn't agree to stop seeing and banging the OM only to cut it back.

What a deal you gave up exposing so the WW will cut it back with the OM. She didn't offer NC with the OM. WW got you to accept her still seeing the OM. Then you come back here all in a tither raging about how you found out as soon as your back was turned WW was over banging the OM again.

Unbelieveable.

Fear what. Your WW is going to keep banging the OM as the way things are going.

You can not throw her out of the house.

You exposing WW affair is not going to effect custody issues.

You are not following through on EXPOSURE because you are afraid. Period.

You are therefore ENABLING her adultery. Yep, you are.

Quit aiding and abetting her adulterous behaviour. Or quit complaining about it, as you are the assistant in her behaviour.

Catwhit is right. As long as you choose to tolerate this situation, you are your WW's accomplice. If you genuinely want your marriage to recover from your wife's adultery, you must stop enabling her to do it. This isn't rocket science. Either take action or kiss your marriage goodbye. Your choice.

So nobody here has ever had custody issues because of exposing their WS's affair? And in cases of affair who usually gets the kids while it's ongoing? I don't think she'll give him up before the final. I make more money and hope to get custody because that will enable me to provide a more stable home environment for the children. Is this a proper line of thinking?

Exposing my ex husband's affairs did not cause me to have custody issues. I have always had 100% custody of my kids.

STOP...ASKING...QUESTIONS...WHEN...YOU...HAVE...NOT...TAKEN...THE...ADVICE...ALREADY...PROVIDED!!!

Where the HELL is HFD? He played this, "Really? Well, what about..." game for three months!

Ill keep tracking your thread but I'm done with the advice you let this woman you love bang this POSOM and you called her and she there now?! Expose!

Are you going to expose?

Mjunleigh

I have noticed that recently there has been a high increase in BH on MB and they are all in the same boat as you, some stronger than you, some are more fed up than you and some are just frozen in fear and being walked all over and use this forum to waste time .

What I can say right now for certain is that the ONLY BHs making ANY progress are those who have exposed and are stopping their enabling behaviour.

You have 0% of success if you don't expose right now.
Nearly all the BH here are dads/family men and none of them that I know if have faced any issues with regards to custody because a judge tends to look at a cheating parent in a worse light than a parent who tried to save his family.

Look at the exposure letter, it is not written in a vindictive vicious tone, is it factual and seeks support from friends and family and is clearly laid out to show the intention of saving a family unit.

Please listen to people here, anything that comes out of your WW mouth right now is pure and utter garbage and not worth taking seriously, she is a wayward, WW rewrite the marital history, lie, manipulate and will step on anyone to get to their next fix of the OM.

For your kids sake I really hope you man up, expose and start fighting for your marriage instead of continuing to enable your WW affair.

Good luck

she's bargaining with me now. says she will stop seeing him if i give her custody of the kids.


we have an appointment with her IC a week from Tuesday to discuss things regarding the kids. i continue to take the stance that continuing the affair harms the children. i continue to improve myself and my parenting.