Going away for the night leaving a foggy wayward alone is a bad idea.

She'll be with the Pastor's wife and D12

More trickle truth last night. It looks like the A didn't start in May as was admitted to...I'm sure there's more and it will come out as time goes on...I told her the trickle truth will kill our M more than the whole truth and nothing but the truth but she's still trying to protect herself.

Remember that full repentance you were so confident of, as least confident enough to award undeserved "forgiveness" on your still-foggy WW?

Do you begin to comprehend why your "Christ-like" plan will NOT work?

You are not Him. You have no insight to her mind and soul. Your (our) weak and inadequate senses can only judge her on external (overt) actions.

Well, it is entirely your life. If you chose to let her human frailties drag your recovery out for an extended period of pain and agony, you have that right. But I would point out that my brutally stern defogging of Bride took about 72 hours.

NG, my plan is to work through her repentance. If you remember my post, I said that her repentance would include complete honesty and confession. Yes, I believe forgiveness is a gift and will come only when she responds with the truth. How am I dragging out my recovery?

Also, where have I showed confidence in her full repentance? Undeserved forgiveness? really? When did I say that I would blindly forgive without the truth?

Wow, you should put your foot down now. She either gives you the whole truth now, or she leaves till she can get up the courage to do that. If she's lying about the past, she probably has no qualms about continued lying in the future.

When did I say that I would blindly forgive without the truth?

Let me spin the question: When did you say you had a plan to get the unimpeachable truth, and what was that plan?

Please note: Any answer not containing the word "polygraph" is inadmissable!

We talked about a polygraph last night. Her eyebrows went up which is one reason that I dont think I have the whole truth yet.

She's putting her EPs together while I'm gone (I want to see where her sincerity level is) and then I will add to the list as necessary for my own peace. She agreed to that.

She failed the eyebrow test. Great observation.

She also said, "you probably have GPS on my phone too...", I didnt say anything back. I just kinda stared.

My FWH used to shift his gaze to his left when he was not being completely truthful.

The trickle truth will just keep sucking you back into the black hole of despair. You need to get the truth Wow.

WOW!!!! $700 for a poly near me. I may be able to travel a little and get it down to $500. Not sure though... Still looking

I'm with NG if she can't tell the truth now don't bother wasting the money on a polygraph. I would kick her lying self out of the marital home till she is serious about this as you are. Thats the only way it works, I think your heart and soul will be torn apart because you are going into a FR (false recovery). As for the trip I would cancel it. She will be with people that will keep her accountable but you need to think whats more important skiing or your marriage.

Have you learned nothing here no more nights separated if recovery is your goal.

So you take a vacation and leave your WW home.

That is cheaper than a divorce and less painful than a death of a thousand cuts.

I have seen many BS just schedule the poly and inform the WS two days before the test. Give her a list of all the questions that you want to ask her and let her think that is what will be asked on the poly.

I think you can really only ask a few...don't tell WW that. Be sure to go through with it even when she starts singing. WW may only admit to enough to get you to back down.

Stop being so fearful of her diversions to paint you as controlling. Give her the list and give her two days to decide if she would like to prove herself.

Nerves of steel Wow.

What personal items could she put up on eBay to cover the $700?

She doesn't have much to seel but she is starting a 2nd job next week.

When I contacted a polygrapher for a consultation, it was my understanding that the "best" way to do an infidelity poly was to give Wayward a list of questions fairly soon before the test and ask them to answer them honestly for you. Then your main question on the poly would be "Did you answer all of the listed questions that Wow777 gave you with the absolute truth?" If there was one other question that you think is very important to you, you could include it on the test. The examiner told me 1 question makes the poly extremely accurate, but as you add more the accuracy can tend to go down.

Thats pretty much the same thing that I read on the polygrapher's website. I would think that the thought of a poly would cause someone to come clean on most stuff. Although, you never know

I would think that the thought of a poly would cause someone to come clean on most stuff.

Rational, clear-thinking folks - sure!
Arrogant, selfish, befogged waywards - not so much!

We had a WW here within the past year who decided to try to void the results by taking muscle relaxers!

Wow,

On Mothers day 2 years I got word of my wife's affair from her boyfriend's wife. I went nuts and asked for the extent of the relationship (sex wise). She went 24 hours and her friend convinced her to fully disclose the extent which, as I certainly expected due the sheer length of it, meant it was a lot heavier than it was 24 hours earlier.

I then went nuts. Even before MB, I demanded in very loud volume and under the threat of her belongings ending in the front yard for a full-on description of what went on. I wanted every dirty detail, every description of meals, movies, shopping, converstaions, blah, blah, blah, blah. It took maybe 3 days to get about as much I needed to move on. Sure, I got some more questions which I never expect to be answered, but I got what I needed mostly.

I swear once she unloaded on every excruciating detail and as embarassing as it was, she was relieved. Now certainly my wifes "relationship" ended with her guy a LONG TIME before her A ended for any number of moronic reasons, but once it got OUT and really was over, everything about her changed from her health, attitude, and even complexion and all for the better.

The truth will not only set you free, but more importantly perhaps, it will set her free.