From FluffyMouse's thread:


Over the years I've seen a few exceptions to POJA cited here. The most common one is a health issue - presumably you cannot be bound to POJA if, say, you have breast cancer and your spouse doesn't want you to get a mastectomy. I've also seen a reference to illegal activities, though when that has been brought up in the past the reaction occasionally has been inconsistent (ie., obviously serious criminal activity would be out of bounds but I've definitely seen the point made that doing something at the request of your spouse (likely, an EP) that your employer would not like - that could possibly be illegal - is not subject to POJA because it is also an EP, so you should just do it.

I'm curious what people think of the above statement, which appears to constitute another exception. Can anyone provide a cite to MB materials for this? Who determines what level of damage? Apart from adultery, what else would count?

Here is the entire quote...to keep it in context.


ETA: I understand your question but I like to keep my words true to the spirit in which they were written.

The reason I only cited the question is that I wanted to de-couple it from Fluffy's thread and her particular situation.

I understand. We are good Kerala.

Well, Mr Pep and I recently were trying to POJA a very difficult problem that touched on conflicting values. I think this is what is really going on in a lot of POJA stalemates. There are two important values/principles and one of them is going to have to give way to the other in order for there to be a solution.

Mr P and I were 'stuck'. We knew we were stuck. We had to make a decision as time was running out.
We POJA'd a trip to our pastor.
Our pastor helped us come up with a mutually agreeable plan.
We executed the plan. It was very difficult to do.
But, I must say, the outcome was good in the sense that WE, our marriage, grew leaps and bounds by way of getting ourselves into a position to negotiate with a third (very trusted) individual.

Something to think about.
First identify the conflicting values.
Then discuss with a wise 3rd party.
Listen, brainstorm, etc.
We came up with a Biblical solution, that we would not have otherwise thought of.

As much as I agree with this, in principle, I know that real life situations present dilemmas which have 2 sides. Each side claiming some degree of moral rightness.
If one of the Commandments seems to say "Do this" and a different commandment seems to say "Do that" .... I think getting some professional advice is smart.

Boy... that sounds like a familiar approach...

Hi you.

Well, hallo!

Surprise, surprise... I understand exactly what you are talking about.


And, I think about the question here, even the possibility of a legal dilemma... and I think of a classical ethics model in which a man has a sick wife who is dying, and one pharmacist has a drug that can cure her, but he cannot afford it. One of the options is for the man to break into the pharmacy and steal the medication to save his wife's life.


That's a simple one.


I get to directly deal with end-of-life care and hospice, and the possibility that comfort care may, in fact, be the cause of death.

I... don't think that I want to go much further than that...

Exposing "secrets" is risky.
Wanna know why?
"Thou shalt not bear false witness"

Be careful. Think before you speak.