|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240 |
well my WW just picked up all her clothes and computer from the house. I guess she has moved out. Does this put me in Plan B even though I've screwed up the rest?
BH Me 34
WW 29
DS 7, DD 5
Multiple EAs 2006-2011
PA 1 OM1 2/2012; D-Day1 3/14/2012; NC 4/1/2012; broke NC 05/2012
PA 2 ONS OW1 7/11/12
PA 3 OM2 1/06/2013; D-Day2 1/14/2013
Divorcing 1/22 Plan A 1/23
Worthless attempt at Trickle Exposure
Multiple PAs OW2,3,&4 since 1/27/2013
WW moved out 3/5/2013
Temp Custody of DS and DD 3/21/13
WW moved back D-Day 3 9/1/13
NC/FR 9/3/13
WW moved out 9/17/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7 |
My fiance moved out this week after 3 years of a great relationship, i love her more than anything in my life. We i think were perfect together in every way ans i cannot imagine myself with anyone else. We ere supposed to be married in May, we had all the plans set and she pulled the plug and bailed. I am devastated and i do not know what to do, nothing i have said has had any impact on her. We met on eharmony 3 years ago and she was living in Maine i am in N.Y. She move here to be with me and we got engaged 2.5 years ago. I have been out of work but still had income, so it was not a financial issue. There were hurdles like blending kids from both sides etc, but we worked through it all. She is religious and i am a christian, i had not been to church since my divorce much 10 years ago, but i started going 6 months ago with her and i was getting back into it. Every hurdle that she complained about, i jumped and i tried really hard to make her happy in the relationship, that made me closer to her and love her more, she doesnt agree that marriage takes a lot of work. Our sex life was great, we are compatible in every way i think and she always said so too. I want her back, but i do not know how to do it, or why she is throwing away a beautiful thing. I need ideas on how to approach this if there is any hope.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7 |
What does plan B mean for you?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7 |
Does anyone ever really reply to these posts? Am i doing this right or looking in the right location on here for replies?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 315
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 315 |
mrmel58, your first post looked like it should be your own thread. Have you looked at the Start Here thread on this forum?
Me - BH 49 years old
Her - WW 43 years old
Married 20 years
D Day Jan 7, 2013
3 kids - DS19, DS17, DS12
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 7 |
No i wasnt sure where to find that, can you help?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
And this being the case:
My fiance moved out this week after 3 years of a great relationship,
your thread will probably best be sited on the Dating/Relationship board.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
No i wasnt sure where to find that, can you help? Click on the notify button under the posting box and ask the moderators to move your thread to the Dating forum. You'll get more help there for your situation.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
well my WW just picked up all her clothes and computer from the house. I guess she has moved out. Does this put me in Plan B even though I've screwed up the rest? No. Her leaving does not place you in plan B. Dr Harley recently explained on the radio that men can Usually win the women back. Sometimes after divorce. (however women have a much more difficult time winning the man back) You can continue plan A. Avoid love busters. Make love bank deposits by meeting emotional needs. You can also email Dr Harley for advice catered to your specific situation at no charge.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 410
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 410 |
jedi, do you have the link to that radio show?
BH: 35 (Me)
WW: 34
DS: 2
D-Day: 27 Dec 12
Exposure: 4 Jan 13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
No I don't. Dr Harley made this statement when poster bnmt called into the show. A couple months ago.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Do you have the link to that radio show?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240 |
thanks folks. I've been spending so much time, gathering evidence, protecting my kids, prepping for divorce, that I haven't had time to listen to any of the show postings. I am a firm believer in Forever Marriage. I want to be able to win her heart back one day. I have read Tranquil's story and he has great strength and hope.  I have decided I don't like roller coasters anymore. While I want her out of the house for the safety of the kids, my own sanity and hers; It kills me to watch her remove her things from the home. I am working on my LB, and AOs. But I also see the manipulation in what she chose to do with my response to her asking for my help.  The whole situation is sick. Every improvement I make for myself and my kids is seen as having ulterior motive, while she's gallivanting around with POSOM, getting drunk and high and leaving her kids with her "abusive husband". Then the next minute she gives me naked pics of herself, then she's in an unsafe living situation when she draws me to her and jokes/makes fun of my reactions. 
BH Me 34
WW 29
DS 7, DD 5
Multiple EAs 2006-2011
PA 1 OM1 2/2012; D-Day1 3/14/2012; NC 4/1/2012; broke NC 05/2012
PA 2 ONS OW1 7/11/12
PA 3 OM2 1/06/2013; D-Day2 1/14/2013
Divorcing 1/22 Plan A 1/23
Worthless attempt at Trickle Exposure
Multiple PAs OW2,3,&4 since 1/27/2013
WW moved out 3/5/2013
Temp Custody of DS and DD 3/21/13
WW moved back D-Day 3 9/1/13
NC/FR 9/3/13
WW moved out 9/17/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240 |
How should I address her coming into the home and taking things without my knowledge or consent? I don't trust her to take "her" things. Honestly I don't want her to even have pictures with me in them.
Last edited by mijunleigh; 03/09/13 03:34 PM.
BH Me 34
WW 29
DS 7, DD 5
Multiple EAs 2006-2011
PA 1 OM1 2/2012; D-Day1 3/14/2012; NC 4/1/2012; broke NC 05/2012
PA 2 ONS OW1 7/11/12
PA 3 OM2 1/06/2013; D-Day2 1/14/2013
Divorcing 1/22 Plan A 1/23
Worthless attempt at Trickle Exposure
Multiple PAs OW2,3,&4 since 1/27/2013
WW moved out 3/5/2013
Temp Custody of DS and DD 3/21/13
WW moved back D-Day 3 9/1/13
NC/FR 9/3/13
WW moved out 9/17/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240 |
I have found that reconnecting with old friends for advice and input can be wonderful and exciting, or heart-breaking. But in some cases I've deserved it.
BH Me 34
WW 29
DS 7, DD 5
Multiple EAs 2006-2011
PA 1 OM1 2/2012; D-Day1 3/14/2012; NC 4/1/2012; broke NC 05/2012
PA 2 ONS OW1 7/11/12
PA 3 OM2 1/06/2013; D-Day2 1/14/2013
Divorcing 1/22 Plan A 1/23
Worthless attempt at Trickle Exposure
Multiple PAs OW2,3,&4 since 1/27/2013
WW moved out 3/5/2013
Temp Custody of DS and DD 3/21/13
WW moved back D-Day 3 9/1/13
NC/FR 9/3/13
WW moved out 9/17/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
How should I address her coming into the home and taking things without my knowledge or consent? I don't trust her to take "her" things. Honestly I don't want her to even have pictures with me in them. Do you have an order stopping her from entering?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 240 |
no i don't, but she already had all the essentials she needs to live on. Clothes, jewelry, toiletries, even took a couple of coffee mugs. Today she came back with her father and his truck to load up the desk from the office (her room) so now she has a "dresser". I just want her to stop because I have so little trust that she will take something that is ours and should be divided. She only comes when I'm not here. Except for today. Really bothersome, and I can't Plan A if I don't have any contact.
BH Me 34
WW 29
DS 7, DD 5
Multiple EAs 2006-2011
PA 1 OM1 2/2012; D-Day1 3/14/2012; NC 4/1/2012; broke NC 05/2012
PA 2 ONS OW1 7/11/12
PA 3 OM2 1/06/2013; D-Day2 1/14/2013
Divorcing 1/22 Plan A 1/23
Worthless attempt at Trickle Exposure
Multiple PAs OW2,3,&4 since 1/27/2013
WW moved out 3/5/2013
Temp Custody of DS and DD 3/21/13
WW moved back D-Day 3 9/1/13
NC/FR 9/3/13
WW moved out 9/17/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
no i don't, but she already had all the essentials she needs to live on. Clothes, jewelry, toiletries, even took a couple of coffee mugs. Today she came back with her father and his truck to load up the desk from the office (her room) so now she has a "dresser". I just want her to stop because I have so little trust that she will take something that is ours and should be divided. She only comes when I'm not here. Except for today. Really bothersome, and I can't Plan A if I don't have any contact. Why don't you change the locks?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
433
guests, and
42
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
