well my WW just picked up all her clothes and computer from the house. I guess she has moved out. Does this put me in Plan B even though I've screwed up the rest?

My fiance moved out this week after 3 years of a great relationship, i love her more than anything in my life. We i think were perfect together in every way ans i cannot imagine myself with anyone else. We ere supposed to be married in May, we had all the plans set and she pulled the plug and bailed. I am devastated and i do not know what to do, nothing i have said has had any impact on her. We met on eharmony 3 years ago and she was living in Maine i am in N.Y. She move here to be with me and we got engaged 2.5 years ago. I have been out of work but still had income, so it was not a financial issue. There were hurdles like blending kids from both sides etc, but we worked through it all. She is religious and i am a christian, i had not been to church since my divorce much 10 years ago, but i started going 6 months ago with her and i was getting back into it. Every hurdle that she complained about, i jumped and i tried really hard to make her happy in the relationship, that made me closer to her and love her more, she doesnt agree that marriage takes a lot of work. Our sex life was great, we are compatible in every way i think and she always said so too. I want her back, but i do not know how to do it, or why she is throwing away a beautiful thing. I need ideas on how to approach this if there is any hope.

What does plan B mean for you?

Does anyone ever really reply to these posts? Am i doing this right or looking in the right location on here for replies?

mrmel58, your first post looked like it should be your own thread. Have you looked at the Start Here thread on this forum?

No i wasnt sure where to find that, can you help?

It's the very first post on the Surviving an Affair forum.

I'm not sure how to insert a link but if you copy this to your browser it should get you there.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2695379#Post2695379

And this being the case:

My fiance moved out this week after 3 years of a great relationship,

your thread will probably best be sited on the Dating/Relationship board.

Click on the notify button under the posting box and ask the moderators to move your thread to the Dating forum. You'll get more help there for your situation.

No. Her leaving does not place you in plan B.
Dr Harley recently explained on the radio that men can
Usually win the women back. Sometimes after divorce. (however women have a much more difficult time winning the man back)

You can continue plan A.
Avoid love busters. Make love bank deposits by meeting emotional needs.
You can also email Dr Harley for advice catered to your specific situation at no charge.

jedi, do you have the link to that radio show?

No I don't. Dr Harley made this statement when poster bnmt called into the show. A couple months ago.

Radio clip
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4

thanks folks. I've been spending so much time, gathering evidence, protecting my kids, prepping for divorce, that I haven't had time to listen to any of the show postings. I am a firm believer in Forever Marriage. I want to be able to win her heart back one day. I have read Tranquil's story and he has great strength and hope.

I have decided I don't like roller coasters anymore. While I want her out of the house for the safety of the kids, my own sanity and hers; It kills me to watch her remove her things from the home. I am working on my LB, and AOs. But I also see the manipulation in what she chose to do with my response to her asking for my help.

The whole situation is sick. Every improvement I make for myself and my kids is seen as having ulterior motive, while she's gallivanting around with POSOM, getting drunk and high and leaving her kids with her "abusive husband". Then the next minute she gives me naked pics of herself, then she's in an unsafe living situation when she draws me to her and jokes/makes fun of my reactions.

Thank God!

How should I address her coming into the home and taking things without my knowledge or consent? I don't trust her to take "her" things. Honestly I don't want her to even have pictures with me in them.

I have found that reconnecting with old friends for advice and input can be wonderful and exciting, or heart-breaking. But in some cases I've deserved it.

Do you have an order stopping her from entering?

no i don't, but she already had all the essentials she needs to live on. Clothes, jewelry, toiletries, even took a couple of coffee mugs. Today she came back with her father and his truck to load up the desk from the office (her room) so now she has a "dresser". I just want her to stop because I have so little trust that she will take something that is ours and should be divided. She only comes when I'm not here. Except for today. Really bothersome, and I can't Plan A if I don't have any contact.

Why don't you change the locks?