Ok i am new and i have read saa. Last feb. my wife started being on the phone all the time and i had the hunch she was talking to om.

I tried to be calm about things and i asked to see her phone and she got really defensive. Then she started crying and telling me she wanted a break. I knew it was so she could be with the other man but i unwillingly agreed. Then later in the week we went to our club. I received a text from our dd that he was on the way so I was looking for my wife when i caught her making out with the other man.

I lost it i pulled her off of him and beat the crap out of the om. Then i got kicked out of the club and i was waiting outside for the ride and we got in the car to go home.
I was stupid and was yelling at her, I shouldn't of took her phone away from her and i admit it was a lame thing for me to do and was using her phone as hostage to get the truth from her.

And she came from the back seat and clawed me to get her phone back from me. so i pushed her back into the seat fearing she would hit the driver and cause a accident.
Then she got a phone from the drive and called the police on me. so long story short i went to jail for domestic violence and i have never had a ao like that before.

Well after i got out of jail i was doing some research and found this site. I have been reading posts and i ordered the book saa. I love my wife and I wanted to at least try and save our marriage with what ever tools i have. So now she is living at her parents house.

So she basicly told everyone on her face book account she is in a relationship with the lame om to this day. so her family knows about that and they disapprove her choice. I also exposed the om to his friends and family. Since then she has been afraid to talk to me on the phone or face to face. I know the guilt is getting to her just want to find more advice from you guys cause i hate waiting.

Welcome to MB and sorry for your pain.

Is this OM married?

You need to do a proper exposure. How did she's meet him?

Are you still at home?

Have you read all of theses?
Start Here First-Welcome Aboard

Yes I have red them and om man has no girl friend. And I know for a fact they did meet at a modeling agency but I think the agency is bogus. Who works in modeling for a 6 month probation and for free even. And the evedance is in her face book page that she blocked me from. So I am screwed there.

Are you still at home?

Do you know this OM's name?

Can you make a fake Facebook?

Yes i am home. I know the his name. Im at home and I did tell his family and friends through face book. With the wedding photo and all. Her daughter was the first person I told.

My advice having been the victim of an A myself is to follow the MB plan by the book.

You lost it when discovering your wife's A, and I can understand...many of the same thoughts still run through my head toward the OM.

But understand that your wife and the OM together did this, neither acted alone and hurting or getting physical over the A in the end will not get your wife back.

You need to lay out a plan based on Dr. H, see how your wife responds and go from there.

If you follow the plan step by step, it will work and put you on the road to recovery, but depending how your wife reacts, you may find yourself going into what Dr. h calls plan B before you make any progress.

Listen to those on this site...it will be your main guide...

Exposing is step one and calmness in this battle is "key", there were reasons this happened although no excuses, but the last thing you need is to be a poor image in your wife's head...keep calm and give yourself permission to grieve, it's a painful experience...

I understand I know what I did was wrong by getting physical but that was the first time it has happened to me. Never been to jail and dont plan on going back. I wish I could take it back. Yes my first priority is breaking up this affair.

So tell us everyone you exposed to. What did you say in your exposure letter?

Does she finance all of this?

Ok I exposed him to all his friends on face book thinking it was around 60 people my in laws and my family and the kids. And the message ill have to post it tomorrow when I can get to some inet. Cause I have been using my phone to post at the moment.

Oh I know I got her mad cause my fb account was reported the next day.

And if I can ask what do you mean by finiance this?

Good job on the Facebook exposure.

She is contacting him through phone and Facebook, correct?

Do you pay her phone bill or does she? Who pays for her going out to the clubs?

Well she has her own phone contract now but I do have his number on my phone bill when she was using her phone on my plan but the only crappy thing us she still has her old phone with all the juicy secrets. Also I know she uses fb and im assuming since she is not so good with money I bet he pays for stuff.

Where is she living?

With her parents at moment.

I thought her family disapproved of her affair?

Have you had a talk with her parents and ask them to support your marriage and put pressure on her to stop the affair?

I have and they try to convince her but still she is their daughter and I the only reason she is there is because of my step daughter.

But I can try to talk to my mil about it more see what I can influence.

I just sent a instant message to her grandmother and hopefully she will say sonething about it.