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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
I just sent a instant message to her grandmother and hopefully she will say sonething about it. Good. How about her mother? Have you talked with her again?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
Did not get a chance I will have to stop by her work.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 633
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 633 |
Prior to t he affair, how often did you and your wife go out to clubs? How often together? Is this where she met OM?
Me (WS) Husband (BS)
DS - 15
DD -10
My D-day - 11/12/11
Today Me (BS) H (WS)
D-Day #2 01/14/12
I don't want to just survive my affair, I want to recover from it!
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
It seems this marriage contains some bad habits that need to be addressed...along with surviving an affair I recommend studying Lovebusters.
How long were you both divorced before you started dating?
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
We have been seperated for 2 months and I do agree with you guys I will pick me uo a copy of love busters. And we would go out once a month until she got this bogus modeling job. She said she had to promote the club and I was dumb and naive trusted her to much. Never had been divorced when we where dating or in any serious relationships.
Last edited by Chitenator; 04/21/13 02:28 PM.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
We have been seperated for 2 months and I do agree with you guys I will pick me uo a copy of love busters. And we would go out once a month until she got this bogus modeling job. She said she had to promote the club and I was dumb and naive trusted her to much. Never had been divorced when we where dating or in any serious relationships. I think the question was. We're you both married before (you each have a child from a different relationship)? How long were you both divorced before you got together?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
Nope was not married and we where single for a few years. So this is our first marriage.
Last edited by Chitenator; 04/21/13 05:31 PM.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
I just hate the fact that her daughter is afraid of me doing what im doing cauuse tge fact that her mom will not let her see me. Man fear is the destroyer of all.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
I just hate the fact that her daughter is afraid of me doing what im doing cauuse tge fact that her mom will not let her see me. Man fear is the destroyer of all. SDD14 is living with your MIL also? Can you ask to see her?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
Yes I can see her. Took her out for pizza and movies since ww is avoiding me I just have dsd let her know.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
Yes I can see her. Took her out for pizza and movies since ww is avoiding me I just have dsd let her know. Good. She will always remember that. Can you afford the coaching center?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
Not at the moment. But looking to get a 2nd job.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
Not at the moment. But looking to get a 2nd job. Have you been able to talk to MIL? What about emailing the Harleys? Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
Ill try that I have the app. And not yet she hasnt answered any of my calls. Just at the moment I dont have the gas to go to her work.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Have you read about Plan A?
Basically you need to be in plan A until her affair dies.
Most affairs die within 6 months of exposure.
This means NO love busters, no angry outbursts and no disrespectful judgements.
You should probably take an anger management class to help you in this. Some women will purposely make out with other men expecting their husbands to loose their temper and go to jail.
In the meantime you try to meet as many of her emotional needs as possible.
Are you willing to be in plan A for 6 months to 2 years?
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
The problem with going to her work is that you may end up getting a restraining order placed on you.
You may want to ask your lawyer before you do that
If she gets a restraining order it will not help your plan A
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
I ment her mothers work. And my wife I have talked to her with no judment or angry outburst but that was a whike ago.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
While. And yes I am willing to do the plan a and do anger management classes.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
Can you get the books Love Busters and SAA? Also here. Anger Management 101
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 249 |
Yes I can but I do have saa.
Married for 3 years
And going through a seperation.
me bh 33
her ww 34
2 kids
her dd 14
my ds 8
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