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Okay folks, I need some advice. The Private Eye has a report for me, all I have to do is pay him. Do I get the report, and what should I do when I get it?
The opportunity to find out if this guy has a criminal history should be enough for me to get it without a second thought - since he is around my two girls, but you can imagine how I am not really wanting to know the information, knowing that it might kill this halfway decent mood I've been enjoying lately.
Last edited by BlindsidedNM; 05/16/13 12:33 PM.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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...since he is around my two girls
Pay the PI
Me - BH 49 years old
Her - WW 43 years old
Married 20 years
D Day Jan 7, 2013
3 kids - DS19, DS17, DS12
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its been over a week -- PAY HIM!
get on with it!
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I know, I know. I just paid him. Silly to even wonder about it, especially since my girls are here with me at the moment. Waiting for the report now.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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I know, I know. I just paid him. Silly to even wonder about it, especially since my girls are here with me at the moment. Waiting for the report now. Tell us what the report says. Now you can finally expose on OM's side. How will you do this?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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No idea how I should expose on OM's side. I'll have to see who his relatives are. Hopefully there will be enough contact info for everyone.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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No idea how I should expose on OM's side. I'll have to see who his relatives are. Hopefully there will be enough contact info for everyone. When you get his name check for him on Facebook.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Okay, I have his info. TWO mug shots included in the report. No sexual offenses, a LOT of traffic violations including improper child restraint. The PI is parsing the info for me now since it is just a wall of data to me. Correlated his phone number and the name of the girl that my daughter keeps mentioning.
Found his facebook page and am trying to figure out who his family members are.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Okay, I have his info. TWO mug shots included in the report. No sexual offenses, a LOT of traffic violations including improper child restraint. The PI is parsing the info for me now since it is just a wall of data to me. Correlated his phone number and the name of the girl that my daughter keeps mentioning.
Found his facebook page and am trying to figure out who his family members are. Good. For now just copy and save all his Facebook contacts and then you can categorize them. Good job BlindSidedNM.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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WOW.. I am talking with my friend (the one who steered me toward MB), and the OM is a friend of a long time friend of HIS. Should be interesting.
Looks like OM has a domestic violence arrest, a DWI arrest, and gets pulled over a lot. He has 3 kids and is paying child support. It also looks like he enjoys his cannabis as well. Not something I want around my kids.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Okay, I have his info. TWO mug shots included in the report. No sexual offenses, a LOT of traffic violations including improper child restraint. The PI is parsing the info for me now since it is just a wall of data to me. Correlated his phone number and the name of the girl that my daughter keeps mentioning.
Found his facebook page and am trying to figure out who his family members are. Good. For now just copy and save all his Facebook contacts and then you can categorize them. Good job BlindSidedNM. How do I do that? My WW blocked me from her facebook profile, but I had my buddy check, and she is in fact on his friends list. I have to think about all this for a bit.. sleep on it. I have to add this: Knowing all of this information gives me a sense of empowerment. A sense that I might actually be able to strategically hurl a monkey wrench into her affair.
Last edited by BlindsidedNM; 05/16/13 08:56 PM.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Have you tried looking up OM's Facebook now that you have his name?
Also make a new Facebook with a new email and see if you can see his Facebook.
What about Your friend? Will he copy them for you (since he's a Facebook friend of OM)?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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I have to add this: Knowing all of this information gives me a sense of empowerment. A sense that I might actually be able to strategically hurl a monkey wrench into her affair. Now do you see why I was pushing you so hard to find out who OM is? Now you can protect your girls and throw a nuclear bomb into their affair by exposing OM for the person he really is.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
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At the same time it's not giving me a lot of comfort knowing this guy is only 6 years older than her (I am 19 years older), he has a job while I am still being jerked around with this job I was supposed to start on May 1. My friend's wife said that she thought he was good-looking, while I don't know if I can compete there, either.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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I just checked her phone records against the verified number and she is still talking to or texting him every single day. Doesn't look good.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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After a sleepless night of incessant thinking, I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to win this one. I just don't see it happening. I am going to throw in the towel. She can have it all.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Dude...you just started the fight! Welcome to the rollercoaster.. Listen, why not follow the MB plan. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even if u do end up walking, you will have your personal recovery well underway.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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Dude...you just started the fight! Welcome to the rollercoaster.. Listen, why not follow the MB plan. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even if u do end up walking, you will have your personal recovery well underway. I wish you people knew my wife. I had a few long-term relationships and many short-term ones before I got married. Never have I encountered the kind of crap I have gotten from this one. She is NOT a typical woman that you can pigeonhole. She is stubborn, has never admitted ANY wrongdoing and has apologized to me maybe three times in the past 10 years. Everything is MY fault and it has always been my fault. I would bet that any problems she might have with this new guy she blames on me. She has way too much pride to be crawling back. She would move on to someone else before she came back to me. Besides, how can I Plan A when she has a restraining order, and I have been in Plan B since March 1? She talks to this guy several times a day, every day. NO way am I going to change her mind.
Last edited by BlindsidedNM; 05/17/13 09:56 AM.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Dude...you just started the fight! Welcome to the rollercoaster.. Listen, why not follow the MB plan. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even if u do end up walking, you will have your personal recovery well underway. I wish you people knew my wife. I had a few long-term relationships and many short-term ones before I got married. Never have I encountered the kind of crap I have gotten from this one. She is NOT a typical woman that you can pigeonhole. She is stubborn, has never admitted ANY wrongdoing and has apologized to me maybe three times in the past 10 years. Everything is MY fault and it has always been my fault. I would bet that any problems she might have with this new guy she blames on me. She has way too much pride to be crawling back. She would move on to someone else before she came back to me. Besides, how can I Plan A when she has a restraining order, and I have been in Plan B since March 1? She talks to this guy several times a day, every day. NO way am I going to change her mind. No one would fault you if you decide to throw in the towel. I would make sure you're 100% sure you're ready. If not, then down the road you will regret it. You can't control your WW's actions only yours. Even if you do decide to throw in the towel, you still have the responsibility to protect your DDs from this OM. You still need to throw a wrench into this affair and expose OM. Let your WW and OM clean up their own mess.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
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Exposure has already done a lot of damage and it has not ended the affair. It only pissed off a lot of people, especially WW. I exposed the affair to my facebook friends and her family and for a while no one even believed me. I had no information about the OM then, and even now I would not know who to expose to. He is not attached otherwise. No one gets involved anyway.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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