Are you willing to commit to never spending the night apart again?

I've been researching different programs to block Facebook - most of them seem to be available for computers only - I need to have it on my iPhone.
Right now it's not installed, and there is a password needed to get into my settings to be able to install it (I don't have the password) but my BS has asked that this be done. Does anyone have any experience or advice for this software?

I've been researching different programs to block Facebook - most of them seem to be available for computers only - I need to have it on my iPhone.
Right now it's not installed, and there is a password needed to get into my settings to be able to install it (I don't have the password) but my BS has asked that this be done. Does anyone have any experience or advice for this software?

My advice is to write a final letter in a way that the victimized spouse would agree to send it. It should begin with a statement of how selfish it was to cause those they loved so much pain, and while marital reconciliation cannot completely repay the offense, it's the right thing to do. A statement should be made about how much the unfaithful spouse cares about his spouse and family, and for their protection, has decided to completely end the relationship with the lover. He or she has promised never to see or communicate with the lover again in life, and asks the lover to respect that promise. Nothing should be said about how much the lover will be missed. After the letter is written, the victimized spouse should read and approve it before it is sent

how do i go about getting it to him? he only has one living relative that i know of - his mom and i dont have any info on her as to number, address etc.

Questions you've never answered:

Are you willing to never spend the night apart again?
What EPs have you given to him for yourself?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make sure an affair never happens again, and to make sure your marriage recovers?

1. Yes, I am 100% willing to never spend the night apart
2. I'm not sure what an EP is (couldn't find it in the abbreviation section) so I can't answer that one yet.
3. I am 100^ willing to do whatever it takes to recover my marriage.

I did see it Brain, and I had a few minutes to talk to my H at lunch about it, he feels that following Dr.H's steps as well as the forum advice is the way to go, so we will be discussing the letter further tonight.

When a wayward spouse ends the affair, and agrees to rebuild the marriage, extraordinary precautions must be taken to guarantee that there will be no relapses. Affairs thrive on what I've called a secret second life. It's what you do under the radar. You know, or at least suspect, that your spouse wouldn't approve, so a part of your life is hidden from him or her. When a spouse is able to come and go without any accountability, men like Alex can have an affair with relative impunity. The temptation of an affair is great because there's little to stop them.

So I encourage couples to end their secret second lives by being transparent in the way they live their lives. It not only guards against affairs, but it also helps create intimacy and build compatibility. It's not a punishment for bad behavior -- it's an essential ingredient for a healthy marriage.

Transparency occurs when couples follow the Policy of Radical Honesty that I introduced to you in chapter 7. Reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know -- your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, past history, daily activities, and future plans.

Nothing should be hidden. Passwords, email, text messages, telephone logs, computer histories, and all other forms of communication are made readily available to a spouse. It's the way my wife, Joyce, and I have lived during our 47 years of marriage. By revealing everything we know about ourselves, we have not only avoided an affair, but our transparency has helped our marriage in a host of other ways, too. It's not a lifetime prison sentence, where disclosure prevents us from having what we need most -- it's the formula for a very fulfilling life.

If I were to counsel Alex, I would encourage him to give Elaine a twenty-four-hour-a-day schedule of his whereabouts, and Elaine should do the same. Such a schedule is essential in a great marriage because spouses who are partners in life check with each other throughout the day to coordinate their decisions and activities. Elaine should call him several times a day, and he should call her as well just so they can check in with each other.

When discussing EPs, Dr. Harley addresses that the following areas need to change:

A) Blocking all communication with Affair Partners (AP�s)
B) Accounting for all of your time
C) Accounting for all money
D) Spending your leisure time with your wife.

EP�s are put into place to protect your spouse.

Protection = Care

EP�s are also designed to ELIMINATE the opportunity to have a secret second life.

Ok, so let�s talk about two different categories you need to create in your list of EP�s.

The first category is a list of one-time EPs that you will need to make sure you complete quickly.

The second category is a list of EPs that you will follow for a lifetime.

So let�s start with the first category items.

(what follows are SUGGESTIONS, remember this is going to be YOUR list)


A) Change cell phone number and give password & account access to your spouse.
B) Change email account.
C) Eliminate all social networking accounts (i.e., Face book, Classmates, My Space, etc.)
D) Take a polygraph
E) Make a copy of my vehicle keys and any other keys my spouse does not have and give to them (i.e., safe deposit boxes, business keys, storage cabinets/lockers, etc.)
F) List out passwords for all business and personal computer logins, and any other passwords my spouse does not have access to.
G) Give my spouse access to any banking/financial accounts, business and personal.
H) Install software that tracks all internet use, giving my spouse administrative access.
I) Install a webcam/security cameras for while at work that my spouse can access.
...
K) Sell the house/purchase a new one.
L) Sell any vehicle AP was in and replace them.

Some of these things you may have already done. But these are one time things that you set up and they stay this way with little or no maintenance.

Include completed items on this list as well as items still in process on your list.