How about this? I am new at this but Matthew chapter 5:11 and 5:38-48 don�t that say the way I am trying to handle this is OK? I heard a preacher say the only way to conquer evil is with good is that wrong? If I am understanding this right, I should pray for both OWs and for hubby too. Maybe it�s not persecution but it sure feels that way. What do you call it when a person purposely hurts someone, knowingly and willingly? I don�t know what to call it but I think that�s what they did. I am going to pray for them all anyway.

Markos

I already have a Psychiatrist, I just got a new one and will be seeing him this month. I had two different ones when I was in the hospital.

That is taking the bible out of context. Yes, you should have mercy and not persecute or take revenge. It doesn't mean you have to take the abuse. Those things are quite different.

Pray that God does what ever He deems right to the others. You conquer evil with good, but within yourself. You have no control over others.

WOW! This shouldn't be a religious debate! Plain and simple your using the Devil as the culprit to YOUR WH's poor boundaries, poor choices and lack of care towards his wife (you). It's not his fault its a attack isn't going to change his behavior. However, you letting him do it time and time again makes you an enabler. No matter what perspective you look at it. From your stay in the hospital and your actions with your children enabling has become the normal behavior for you. Now its taking its toll on your health just like Dr. Harley has stated numerous times on his radio show. You planned A long enough I implore you to plan B before damage to your health is irreversible. I only have a 4 yr old DS and its hectic at times but your children are grown! The US Navy is hiring get him out of the house! Have him sign a contract three months and he's gone no ifs ands and buts. I think he knows your an enabler and is taking advantage of you which is sad. I don't know how long you had to deal with WHs actions but I'm sure your son picked up a thing a two from him and how you handled it (not good habits I assure you!) I'm positive Dr. Harley will recommend Plan B. your husband only showed concern when you were ill. It's only a matter of time he goes back to his old tricks. I'm sure you enjoyed the attention but its only fleeting. I will pray for you.

Taking holy books out of context are big excuse makers for some people and lead to wars. Please, follow the MB program for your health and sanity. God gave us free will!

Dr. Harley is free.

Abuse.

It doesn't sound like these people are encouraging you to do what you need to do to protect yourself, though. Dr. Harley can offer you an invaluable second opinion.

You are misusing scripture so that you can continue to enable your husband's abuse.
Turn the other cheek? Of course -- do not return evil with evil!
Jesus is not telling you to stay with your abusive husband and let him destroy you emotionally and mentally.
Love your enemies and pray for them? Of course -- you can easily do that in Plan B.

Jesus never told wives to sit around and be destroyed by their husbands. He knew, long before Dr. Harley, what adultery would do to your mental and physical health. And he gave you an escape -- divorce.

Notice what the Bible says Paul did in Damascus when he was persecuted: he escaped by night, let down over the city wall in a basket.

Escaping is Biblical. Standing around for persecution, abuse, and death is not something required.

Sure - do it from a safe location where they can't hurt you and put you in the hospital any more, okay?!

One Scripture doesn't "cancel" another. Jesus does not require you to stay with a man who is a serial philanderer.

Letting other people destroy you is not Godly.

Jesus already paid the price for you on the cross. You don't need to add personal continued suffering in your own life.

http://biblehub.com/isaiah/40-2.htm

Quit standing around on the front lines being hit by artillery, Hopes! The time of warfare is over!

So why would God permit this for other people but expect you to do something different? You totally missed my point. All your Bible reasoning comes from totally ignoring what Jesus actually said here.


See, you totally ignored my point in your haste to get back to telling what you had to tell. You are not listening to the people who want to help you.


Again, totally missing my point. I'm not upset, and who cares if I am? We here posting to you are concerned for you because we know that you are volunteering to continue to live through trauma and go right back to the hospital soon. We would not be your friends if we did not let you know LOUDLY and INSISTENTLY what a tremendous mistake this is.

It's not that your decision is "upsetting." It's that it is DANGEROUS to YOU! We are standing back a little distance from your situation and can look at it objectively and let you know you don't have to do this and in fact you shouldn't do this.

All I can say is, keep your hospital bags packed, because apparently you've decided you want to continue with this lifestyle that's destroying you. And yes, I guess I am a little emotional about the fact that one of God's children would choose that willingly.

By the way, you don't get extra rewards in heaven for signing up for extra needless suffering here on earth. I know some people teach something like that, but the Bible teaches Jesus already paid the price, so I figured I'd better mention it.

Sticking around for continued trauma and more hospital trips is not going to "overcome evil with good." It is just a waste.

Hopes, much of your posting here confuses me.

You are making a lot of scriptural references. It is confusing in the sense that I am unsure if you are trying to use the bible to justify your H�s behavior and also how you are choosing to deal with this situation.

Do you live all of your life by the principles you are quoting here? Or, is it just convenient to use the bible and scriptures as a crutch in this isolated part of your life to justify burying your head in the sand?

Very confusing.

It will be an impossible sell to most of us here to use the bible and scriptures to justify your H�s actions and your choices now. It isn�t going to fly.

By the way, all of Dr Harley's works come strictly from a Christian based standpoint. What do you not understand about this?

He has a firm understanding of the bible and has customized his teachings around scriptural principles.

His ACTION steps for folks in your situation take all of these things into consideration.

I might call, if hubby wants to as well. He did do one of the things I asked him to do today. He got himself an IC to figure out why he does these things. I want to feel safe in the relationship so knowing why he does this stuff would help to make me feel better.

I did think of one thing though. There are examples of people who were not repentant being forgiven. When they nailed Jesus to the cross he said, "father forgive them for they know not what they do." Isn't that the point though? We are supposed to try to be as much like Him as we can, even when its hard and even when it don't make sense to others.

I do think now though hubby is repentant. I believe that he has seen the error of his ways and there might be something left to work on. Thanks again

Hopes

That typically doesn't help. (Except for the IC. It will give her an income for a long time.)

Why know why he does it. He does it because he doesn't have boundaries to stay away from women.

There, saved you the cost of the counselor.


You will never feel safe as long as he continues to play chicken and do things that make him at high risk for having an affair.


Does it make you feel better knowing that he does this stuff because he continues to spend time with other women, and he is continuing to do the exact same things that cause this? Shouldn't that make you feel worried???


I see. You are going to continue to desperately find an excuse in Scripture to ignore everything we've told you. So you're not really listening to anybody here, and there's nothing we can do to help you.

Keep you hospital bags packed.

Trying to justify again?

Asking for forgiveness, is not receiving forgiveness.

Sad but true statement and I totally agree.