Yes, I am being TOTALY transparent with him, my phone was switched under his plan, so that at any time he has access to any and all incoming/outgoing texts and phone calls. I have ALWAYS let him see the phone, it's not hidden.
He has not given me a list of questions yet, so I e not answered, only the questions he's verbally asked - those I HAVE answered.
My EP's are posted in this thread, a few pages back and I'm continuing to follow and complete them. I need to work on my own AO, he's pointed out a few to me last night.

I emailed Dr. Harley last night.

Why do you seem upset when he asks to see it?

I don't know, I don't see it as anger - agitated maybe - he, pointed this out to me last night - I've said I will not do it anymore, he sees it as an obvious LB.
I saw you posted about spyware for my phone on RNR's link - I think that would be a good idea, can you just go to a BestBUy?

He needs to take care of that himself. You need to just let him.

Whenever he asks to see your phone, let him. No emotion. Just hand it over and let him see it. He cannot handle ANYTHING that looks like you are hiding something. Go out of your way to be transparent.

Who are you texting?

I'm not - usually it's just games - Tetris/Candy crush.
When I do text it's to him or my sister - and I leave the text history, so he knows or can see that nothing's been deleted.

Is your phone your source for the internet? Or do you have a PC?

We have a MAC book, but I do have Internet on the phone.

When you are playing a game and he wants to see your phone, let him see the screen.

Prisca didn't ask about anger. She asked why you seem upset.

I don't get it -- if you are being "totally transparent" and there is no issue here, why would you be agitated? Do you not realize that he is going to be distrustful of almost everything that you do for a while?

My sister and her H have never had affairs and they can't text anyone without the other coming and looking and they have no problem with that.

Give him your phone as soon as he walks in the door from work. Tell him you are committed to transparency, and ask him to put any kind of spyware on your phone and computer that he needs to. Do so without emotion -- no agitation or arguing or acting like this is something you are being forced to do. He can give you your phone back when he is done. DO NOT DEMAND IT. OFFER IT.If he responds with a disrespectful judgement or angry outbursts, keep your mouth shut, leave the phone, and leave the room.

Do not push him to give it back to you. Wait patiently.

Have you actually dared to say "who are you, the phone police?" to your H, who has just discovered your affair? Have you actually dared to say that in the last few days, despite having read about the devastation of affairs on here?

Why on earth would you speak in that manner to the man you betrayed, if that's true?

Ok, I will do it starting today.

Yes, Sugarcane I did say that - and my BS pointed it out and called me on it. I realized what I did, and committed to never doing it again - and also following Prisca's suggestions as well.

Good.

Sarcasm is a disrespectful judgment, so you'll have to eliminate it in the way you talk to your husband.

Prisca and I were lovers of fine sarcasm, so this was particularly difficult for us. But it was well worth it! Nowadays we know how to flirt all the time without being sarcastic or disrespectful to each other, and that is MUCH more fun!

Have you ordered Lovebusters and the workbook yet?

I would take it a step further. I have noticed on this thread several times that you are very defensive-- and I foresee a lot of problems if you don't drop the attitude when you are questioned about things -- because you BH is going to question EVERYTHING you do for a while.

This is the point I was hoping to get you to see. For the life of me, having been through this myself, I have never been able to undertand how a WS can watch their spouse crumble into a near breakdown on discovering their affair, and yet have the brass neck - to lack compassion and concern to such a degree - that they can mock and belittle them over their panic and fear of the affair continuing or reigniting.

Your only response here is that your BS called you on it and you stopped. There is no sense of humility or regret from you for having done that, whatsoever.

I am saddened about that.

Exactly!

In the early part of my posting on the board, I was indeed very defensive - I felt for lack of a better word "attacked" - my BS, implored me to join this site, so that we could get help to save our marriage. I stayed with it. I believe that my defensiveness to the posts on not only my thread but my husbands as well as lessened significantly, I read, I respond, I answer the questions. It's certainly not my intent to come across any other way. As far as having "no sense of humility and or regret", I can only say that yes, of COURSE I have regret, deciding to not post that "I feel regret" etc, was what I thought I was supposed to do? One of my EP's was "to put my feelings aside and help you heal with yours", I believe someone posted already that my feelings are just emotion not actions.
And since it was me that caused the potential break-up of my marriage, I thought I was doing the correct thing.
Last night when he called me on it, I expressed to him my regret, I made a conscious decision and promise to him to not do it anymore - I chose to leave my feelings out of the original post. I don't know now what I'm suppose to say when answering questions here - if I respond with my feelings of regret etc it comes across as being "poor WW" but I I don't ten it comes across as "having no humility or regret"